Returning to the mothership

"Why are you sending your child to UP Diliman?" Shortly before I went to college in 1991, I heard my mother asked this question several times. I do not remember her answer but I do remember the litany that invariably followed her reply.

"Aren't you afraid that your daughter will become a communist?"

"Aren't you afraid that she might become an atheist? The people in UP do not believe in God!"

Judging by the number of high school students taking the UP College Admission Test, I guess a lot of things have changed in the past seventeen years. Fear of UP has given way to more practical concerns about tuition fees. The deregulation of tuition fees has made sending children to good private schools impossible for a lot of parents. UP's tuition of one thousand pesos per unit is comparatively cheaper. It was a lot cheaper when I was a freshman, though. My parents paid only two hundred pesos per unit then.

I did not become a communist in UP although I know of some schoolmates who joined the New People's Army. Neither did I become an atheist and stop believing in God. Living at the Kalayaan Residence Hall, so close to the Church of the Holy Sacrifice, even made me more religious. I attended mass even it was not a Sunday without being prompted by anyone to do so.

Studying in UP Diliman just reinforced the lessons that my high school teachers in UP Cebu imparted to me: To find answers on my own, to have my own opinions, to be independent. A lot of my college teachers provided students with an outline at the beginning of the semester. We had to find the suggested readings on our own. If we found the subject interesting, we read more. That was how I discovered the novels of Gabriel Garcia Marquez (from one short story in a fiction class) and T.S. Elliot (from a poem in my Literature in the Romantic Period class). I just felt so free to learn about anything and to choose what I believed in.

I was reminded of that feeling when I attended the lecture of Professor Felipe de Leon Jr., the former chairman of the Humanities Department. He spoke on "Defining the Filipino Through the Arts." He observed that the Philippine educational system is training its citizens to be assets of another country. He talked about the "Dona Victorina syndrome" or the Filipino's low self-esteem bordering on contempt for his own culture. He asked about out "culture of smallness" and why we continue celebrating symbols that our American colonizers imposed on us like the small nipa hut, the little maya and the tiny sampaguita. He also pointed out our "celebration of defeat" and wondered why we celebrate our losses.

After his talk, a faculty member reacted and stated that UP is an example of a failed educational system. He added that UP's centennial slogan of "UP Ang Galing Mo" is inappropriate. Instead, he suggested that UP should ask itself why Philippine society remains the way it is with all the UP alumni among its leaders.

I could not help but chuckle. The lecture was part of the centennial celebrations and was held at the UP Faculty Center Auditorium. The audience included officials of UP. That did not stop that faculty member from being critical of UP. No one raised an eyebrow. Some even voiced their agreement with the professor.

Years after I graduated from law school, I would go to UP Diliman at the slightest excuse-to research at the Law Library, to attend mass, to jog at the oval, to eat fishball. I guess I was just trying to capture that sense of freedom, reinforced no doubt by the presence of towering old trees and vast green spaces. My friend called it "returning to the mothership." I strongly agree.

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