The tale of two sorry’s

"What do I do to make you want me

What have I go to do to be heard

What do I say when it’s all over

And sorry seems to be the hardest word"

Saying "Sorry" has never been easy, Elton John knew enough to write a song about it, and my wife always warns me not to lose my temper because I will have to say "Sorry" later. That makes me even more Sorry.

In general, once the Sorry has been said, things are somehow smoothed over especially when the matter is not really a personal injury or offense. The interesting thing about "Sorry and apologies" is that it reveals much about the character of the one giving it as well as the one receiving it.

Recently former Senator Tessie Aquino Oreta came out with her public apology for offending the senses of Filipino television viewers when she mockingly did a jig at anti Erap groups at the Senate approximately six years ago.

Some questioned the timing, the form (TV advertisement) and the purpose of Tessie Aquino Oreta’s apology.

In spite of Sorry and apologies, it goes to show that Filipinos are not very forgiving. They live with it and when the matter becomes today’s issue they dig up past hurts and display the indignation of the ignorant.

Let’s review the tape; Tessie Aquino Oreta does a jig in the Senate which the cameras capture. It was to say the least a childish taunt, it was emotional response during a very emotional time and it was certainly in bad taste for a member of the Senate. They say the tape doesn’t lie. But it also does not tell the whole story.

Sadly the tape was played over and over as if Tessie Aquino Oreta was paying to insult the Filipinos repeatedly. What the Filipino viewers failed to appreciate was that the replay were repeatedly assaulting their senses courtesy of the Station who had lost its balance and judgment.

It was the same way video clips of Commander Robot were sold and aired worldwide and promoted the Philippines as a place full of fundamentalist rebels with automatic rifles.

Oreta reaped the consequence of her act and then more. With everyone focused on kicking Joseph Estrada out of Malacanang, Tessie Aquino Oreta was just an extra Molotov to inflame the already self righteous.

Branded as the Dancing Queen, reviled like Mary Magdalene, Aquino-Oreta withdrew to the confines of her home. Like a hunted wounded animal she was angry, hurt, and confused.

She was certainly bitter but not the kind that had taken root. Because at a time when people drew lines on the sand and took sides, a young, simple middle class couple chose to obey their Pastors at Victory Christian Fellowship.

While people outside were busy with the second revolution at EDSA, the believers inside the church were told go out and find the angry, the hurt, the confused and show your compassion, show you care, just pray for them.

One of them was Tessie Aquino Oreta. They visited her, prayed for her, others comforted her. No politics, no judgment. Just compassion.

Things this pure are potent and infectious.

Hurt by attacks and pilloried by catholic priests and bishops, it was not long before Aquino Oreta — came to a different church, with a very different way of doing things.

She attended regularly and was counseled and mentored by women who only saw Tessie, their sister in the Lord. It was not long before she came to terms with a different lifestyle. Before she knew it she had transformed.

When she announced her candidacy, we feared for her. The world is able in so short a time to destroy what has been built up in years. But she was certain that God was leading her and in charge. Obviously, the Lord is.

A friend once wrote "to show our love, we don’t need an occasion. We only need opportunity". God apparently meant to use the campaign as an opportunity for Tessie Aquino Oreta to deal with an "unconfessed sin", something she had not been given the chance to do so.

The "sin" was public and therefore required that the penance be public.

Her aides and advisers resisted her. It would be political suicide. She didn’t care. Her politically correct friends warned her that going public about her faith would cost her the votes of the Catholics.

Are Catholics truly judgmental as not to appreciate a penitent and contrite heart? I think not.

And so Tessie Aquino Oreta said her apology regardless of the consequence. It was public, it was a full apology.

Coming from the moral high ground of EDSA II we find President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo accused of impropriety in the so-called Garci tapes.

The matter was not an act of Bad Taste. It was worse, It involved ethical and possible legal matters. Despite the siege, the allegations were ignored until the pressure became so intense it divided the President’s official family. Ultimately the President makes the final decision.

President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo apologized for a lapse in judgment. However carefully scripted it was, it was a sorry none the less. Unfortunately, when repercussions and consequences loomed the sorry got swept under. It became half a sorry diminished by fear.

It became even less because of the double talk.

Sorry is but a word…made real by admission of an act, realization of the injury caused, acceptance of the resulting consequence from one’s actions. It requires a commitment never to do the same again.

That is Repentance. That is the difference between half a sorry and real SORRY.