Our hearts are restless . . . .

A leper came to Christ Our Lord, knelt down before him, and said: "If you wish, you can make me clean." Moved with compassion, Our Lord stretched out his hand, touched the leper, and said to him: "I do will it. Be made clean." The leprosy left him, and he was made clean.

To me, the key word in that event was the word of God: "I do will it!" And the key action was: "he stretched out his hand and touched him."

To touch a leper, in those days, was a big thing. The belief was that leprosy was super-contagious. The poor leper was driven out of the city, and whenever a normal person approached, he was bound to cry out, from a distance, "Unclean! Unclean!"

But Our Lord wanted him to be clean! What did that mean? The great suffering of leprosy was separation. The leper could not hold his baby in his arms. He could not embrace anyone that he loved. He could not work at any job which involved meeting people. He was isolated, alone.

Our Lord wanted unity. He wanted the family. He wanted his children to love one another. He wanted everyone to live in peace and joy. "I have come that you may have life, and have it more abundantly. . . . . . .I have come that my joy might be in you, and that your joy might be complete!"

Our Lord wanted the leper to be clean. And he wants all of us to be cleansed of sin. That is why he came down to earth, and was born in the stable on Christmas day. That is what the angels sang: "Today is born to you a saviour, who will free his people from all their sins! Who will bring peace on earth to men of good will!"

That is why he was called "Emmanuel" – God is with us. That was the meaning of Jesus, "the anointed one." A Messiah who would deliver us from all evil. That is why he was baptized by John in the Jordan – to wash away the sins of all the world. That is why he bore the lash, the thorns, the spittle, the cross, the nails, the lance, the tomb – to cleanse us, to reconcile us with God.

This was the most important thing in his life. The Jews expected a temporal Messiah, the Son of David. What did David do? He broke the power of the Philistines. He killed their champion warrior. He freed the Hebrews from political oppression! "Saul killed his thousands -David killed his tens of thousands!" This was the song that the people sang, dancing in the streets. So they expected Our Lord to break the power of Rome and set them free, politically.

But he said, again and again: "My kingdom is not of this world." He did not want to free us from political oppression. He wanted to free us from all spiritual evil. He wanted to cleanse our minds and hearts, just as he cleansed the body of the leper.

And have you noticed that, whenever our sins are forgiven, what follows is peace? Peace of soul. A relief of tension. Hope. The day seems more beautiful. The breeze seems to be cooler. You notice the song of the birds. There is a subtle feeling that something good will happen this day. God’s in his heaven, and all’s right with the world.

Sin makes the sinner nervous. From day one. For example, the other woman. When a married man has another woman, it is pleasant to have a girl looking up at him with big eyes, and thinking he is wonderful. It is some consolation for him to think that he is still attractive. There is a small sense of pride that he is a macho man.

But the deep underlying emotion is the terrible feeling that he is living a lie. He feels that he is betraying his wife. . . . And he is embarrassed to death when he tries to pray at home, with his family.

If the other woman conceives and bears his child, it is worse – much worse. Now he feels bound to her by that child. And he knows that he is bound to his wife by his word of honor, his vow, that he made at the altar before God and man.

And the crusher comes when his wife and children find out. Even if his wife does not say a word, it is the way she looks at him. He feels that it would have been kinder if he stabbed her with a knife. He knows that his children are disappointed in him, ashamed of him. And he has done complete penance for all his sins when he overhears his own child saying: "I hate my father!’

Dishonesty in money has the same effect. A man came to me, saying: "Father, I am going to kill myself tonight." His body language said that, more clearly than the words. His whole being cried out: "Despair!"

His story went back six months. His job was selling insurance. But what he wanted most was his own house. That is a good thing – for a man to own his own house. That chance came when he had the opportunity to buy a beautiful piece of land, at a very low price. But the down payment was high, and he did not have enough money to cover it.

So, when he sold a very good insurance policy, he used the money to complete his down payment on the land. When he sold the next policy, he turned in the money for the first unpaid policy. But he was one policy behind.

Time went on. He had to complete the payment on the land, in several installments. He kept back a second policy, a third, a fourth. Now he was really nervous. He needed money to catch up. A friend told him about a horse who could not lose. In desperation, he bet on the horse. And the horse lost.

Then a house burned down. It was a house which he had insured, but he did not turn in the policy. To make it worse, the house belonged to his best friend. That is when he came to me, saying: "I am guilty of estafa. I am going to jail for God knows how long. My wife thinks that I am honest. My children are proud of me, but now their friends in school will say to them: ‘Your Daddy is a thief!’ My boss thinks I’m honest. And the house belongs to my best friend! I’m going to kill myself tonight."

I said: "Look. It will do no good to kill yourself. Then your wife will know, from somebody else. And their schoolmates will say to your children: ‘Your Daddy killed himself because he was a thief!’. . . . . . Why don’t you just tell the truth, to everybody?"

He said: "Father, I am too tired to think anymore. But I promised God that I would go to a priest, and do whatever he said. I don’t think it will work. But I’ll do it."

He began with his wife. He said: "I have to tell you something." She sat very still before him, her hands clasped in her lap. He could not bear to look at her. With his head hanging, he poured out the whole wretched story. When he finished, he looked up. She was still in the same position, her hands clasped in her lap. She said: "Go ahead. . . . . . . .Go ahead." He said: "That’s all."

She looked up, surprised, and said: "That’s all?. . . . . .It’s only money?" He swallowed, hardly able to talk, and said: "Only money? I’m going to jail and you say ‘Only money’!" She began to cry and said: "For the last six months I knew that something was terribly wrong. . . . .I thought it was another girl. But if it’s only money, I’m so glad! If you go to jail, I’ll wait till you come out. As long as it’s not another girl!" And she threw her arms around him, and hugged him, and kissed him.

His boss listened carefully, his eyes on his desk. Then he said: "You know, Dan, I found out about this three months ago. I met a man at a party and he said: ‘We’ll be seeing each other more often because I just took out a policy with your company.’ This surprised me, because I pride myself on knowing all our clients, and I could not remember any policy in his name. . . . .The next day I checked, and sure enough - no policy from him. Then, about a month later, the policy came in, over your name."

The boss said: "Dan, you could never pay for that house yourself. But for the company it would be relatively easy. So I’ll antedate that policy. We’ll take care of it." At the end, he said: "Dan, you’re an honest man. . . . ..Don’t do anything like that. . . . . .It’s bad business. . . . . And it never works."

Dan’s friend heard the story with real sympathy. He said: "I knew that you were in some kind of trouble. I could tell it by looking at you. That’s why I took out the policy with you. You know, I’m getting some good financial breaks right now. And that house was insured for a little more than it was worth. So, if you need money, I can lend you whatever you need, without interest."

Dan was saved by the goodness of his wife, his boss, his friend. But he was never deceiving anybody, except himself. Everyone knew that he was in trouble, from the beginning. The same is true of the man with the mistress. The wife always knows, from the start. Women are psychic. Without any evidence that she could give, if she were put on a stand in court, the wife knows when she is being betrayed. Sin makes a man nervous. It upsets his whole being.

The law of God is written into each man’s heart, into his mind, into his blood stream, into the marrow of his bones. Whenever someone does anything really wrong, the evil appears in his whole being. As clearly as the leprosy of that poor man who knelt before Our Lord in the Gospel.

Saint Augustine said this very well. He lived in sin for 18 years. He had an illegitimate son named Adeodatus. But Augustine reversed his field, went searching for God, and found him. And with God, he found peace. And he said: "Our hearts are restless, till they rest in Thee."