The joy of giving in mind and spirit

The story of Scrooge is the message of Christmas. He felt so sad on that merriest of days not because of failure to get, but to give. The miser in Dickens’ "A Christmas Carol" shows in paradox an enduring truth. It is that sharing what we have is infinitely joyful than being stingy.

We didn’t understand it when we were young. Christmas Day back then only meant rising early to open presents. We’d have fun with and brag about what we got, and after two days tire of them and turn to making forts with the gift boxes. Only as adults do we come to realize the joy our parents felt on seeing our faces light up with receiving. It is then that we grasp the greater thrill in giving – not only on Christmas but any day.

The thrill can be psychological. As researchers recently found out, giving brings a natural high. A study at Bethesda, Maryland yielded three types of sharing, with different motivations. The first, providing for relatives, comes more naturally than reaching out to strangers. Then too, people sometimes give because it pays, as in a favor to be reciprocated in future. But truly wondrous is the third: why donors give anonymously, and to causes that, unlike people, can offer nothing in return.

Different parts of the brain trigger the three types. The basic decision to give or not comes from the reward center – the mesolimbic pathway that secretes dopamine for the consequent euphoria associated with sex, money, food and drugs. Donating also fires up a hormone called oxytocin that in turn intensifies trust and cooperation, in another part of the brain that plays a role in the bonding behavior between mother and child, and in decisions involving punishment. A third part of the brain, called anterior prefrontal cortex, evolved only recently just behind the forehead and is believed to be uniquely human in helping to grapple with dilemmas of self interest versus greater good. In short, giving can be self-gratifying because nobly unselfish.

If giving is psychological, teaching it is social. Giving to children on Christmas is not to spoil but to train them. As a Danish proverb goes, he who gives to me teaches me to give. Of delight to any parent is seeing children begin to share as they once received. A mom or dad can perhaps measure success in child rearing from the generosity of the offspring. That is how parents, after the initial shock, eventually reconcile an adolescent’s decision to become a priest or nun as the result of their constant counseling to share time, talent and tenderness with others.

Teaching to give extends beyond the family and the Yuletide season. Kahit hindi Pasko ay magbigayan, a Filipino carol counsels. Sharing can be a year round affair. One does not have to be a zillionaire like the venerable John Gokongwei to give. Truly heart-warming was the story by Davao Bishop Fernando Capalla of an anonymous boy’s desire to help the country overcome fiscal crisis in late 2004. The boy did not hesitate to sacrifice a month’s school baon and, adding it to his life’s savings in the piggybank, handed the prelate P1,132.

About the same time, the newspapers ran the story of a Mangyan lad who struggled through college in the big city. It was not only his desire to return to his mountain tribe to help that made his story stand out. Equally kind was the teacher who, although poor, took him in earlier and guided him to the top of the high school class. In turn their generosity inspired countless readers to donate to them and to their school in Mindoro. They wanted to be part of it. For, as Calvin Coolidge said, no person was ever honored for what he received; honor is the reward for what one gives.

Giving has its economic boosts too. In 2003 charity contributions, scholarship grants, corporate donations and dying bequests in America were 2.2 percent of GDP. That did not include donations to churches, or free community service. Philanthropy figured in other countries too, from 1.3 percent in Israel to 0.1 percent in Italy and India. It did not matter if the country was rich or poor; philanthropic donations, in relation to purchasing power, was as big in Tanzania as in Britain, and even bigger than in France, Germany, Sweden and The Netherlands.

There are no figures available for the Philippines. But donations and volunteerism is responsible for the 10,000 or so houses for the poor built so far by Habitat for Humanity. At a modest P250,000 per dwelling, the project has drawn P2.5 billion worth of free labor and materials that enable 10,000 families to live in dignity and productivity. There’s also the P550 million worth of free schoolhouse repairs every summer since 2003 by barangay volunteers and donors.

The most sublime part of giving is spiritual. On the first Christmas a loving heavenly father gifted his lost and hurting children with what angels proclaimed as "good tidings of great joy." It is an unparalleled gift, stated in Romans 8:32 thus: "He who did not spare his own son but gave him up for us all, will he not also give us all things with him?" Today we strive to emulate the example in obedience to God, knowing that it is the right thing to do.

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