3 hours to Bangkok, 3 hours to get your luggage from airport

BANGKOK, Thailand – The Thai capital’s brand-new airport which opened last Thursday lived up to its billing of being the latest in opulence and size.

When we planed in Friday at 5:15 p.m. on TG 6219, the sight of the $4-billion international airport was eye-popping, its futuristic design reminiscent of the opera house in Sydney (which we used to jibe at as "The Pregnant Oyster") giving the impression of multiple sails in the wind.

I was ashamed, of course, that the Thais had shot by us again – by abandoning their excellent airport terminal at Don Muang to the south at 3 a.m. last Thursday and shifting everything overnight to Suvarnabhumi airport to the east of the city.

Suvarnabhumi means "Golden Land," but before the ambitious seven storey terminal – the world’s largest – went up, the area was notorious for being a swampland, teeming with snakes, mostly poisonous cobras. When the humans "invaded" the place to construct their 560,000 square meter airport, the cobras fled, realizing that man was a more dangerous species.

In any event, the shining new Suvarnabhumi airport is impressive as all get out – ritzy in design, the passport control booths numerous and efficient. The airport blurb leaflet distributed when one arrives boasts that "the traveler’s experience is now easier, more efficient and pleasurable." Ooops. Hold that sentence of self-praise!

Admittedly, it was the result of births pains, but our experience, and that of thousands of other pilgrims arriving from all points on other airlines – from Tokyo, Incheon - Seoul, Islamabad, Munich, London, New Delhi and Beijing – was neither easier, more pleasurable nor – least of all – efficient.

Although our flight was delayed by an hour and a half, the Thai International Airways Boeing B-777 sped us to Suvarnabhumi "soft as silk" in less than three hours. (This is not a commercial, I paid for my ticket). However, it took all of us on that flight THREE HOURS to retrieve our luggage from the shiny steel carousel, one of 25 in the arrival area.

What was frustrating is that nobody was telling us about the status of our baggage. A Thai Airways ground hostess was at Carousel 21, to where we were first directed, and was constantly on her walkie-talkie radio phone, but when several of us asked her about the status of the luggage, she would shrug helplessly and uncomprehendingly. Did she understand English? Some tried Japanese. She smiled and shrugged. In the end, she ignored us completely. She was just standing there, in her violet uniform – like a piece of furniture. No help at all.

Then one of our group, after two hours and a half rushed back, saying: "I just saw on the board that our stuff is coming out on Carousel 7." We asked the ground hostess, and this time she snubbed our question. Someone shouted at her: "We’re talking to you!"

She didn’t even bob her head to acknowledge the shout, but scurried of, accompanying some Caucasian passenger – a white guy – somewhere else.

Anyway, everybody abandoned Carousel 21 which was now sporting the digital sign – no longer TG 6219 from MANILA, but TG from "Islamabad" (Pakistan). That Carousel was already filling up with turbaned, bearded types (Osama look-alikes) and veiled women.

Indeed, we found our bags emerging from Carousel 7, which we would have missed if we had persisted in Number 21. It took another 30 minutes for all of the luggage to come out.

By the time we reached the exit, everyone looked exhausted. My advice is: Don’t plan a one night holiday in Bangkok. Half of that time will be spent trying to recover your luggage.

Once we got into the hotel limo, it was once more an impressive experience. The Thai government had built a six-lane super expressway (another six lanes in the opposite direction), brightly lighted, smooth and entrancing. We zipped our way towards the city – getting to our hotel, despite the merging traffic in less than an hour. (Without traffic, Ronnie, our limo driver told us, the drive would have taken only 45 minutes).

Anyway, Suvarnabhumi has the world’s tallest control tower, and was designed to outshine Singapore’s Changi airport. Well, not yet. But they’ll get there.

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But why should we cast stones? Here’s the score at our tatty NAIA-1 at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport. It was a disaster area.

NAIA-I and, sadly, the entire Manila International Airport had no electricity at all. The Thai airlines Royal Orchid executive lounge was lit only by oil lamps, like you put on your family altar. No air-conditioning at all, with commuters sweating it out. The entire atmosphere was sweaty confusion. (What? No generators?)

No wonder foreign tourists shun our country, while Thailand gets 12 million tourists per year.

I went to the toilet. It was in pitch darkness. The C.R. attendant, the janitor, was kind enough to flick on his lighter as I unzipped, so I could see where to pee. I might have misdirected. I gave him a tip of P100 – a magnificent "gesture" for an Ilocano, but so grateful was I for his generosity. The friendly janitor told me that three times a week, even without Typhoon Milenyo’s ravages, the airport toilets’ water supply was cut off.

We had passed by the controversial NAIA-3 (PIATCO-built) terminal on our way to the airport and it looked to me both squat and ugly, not even worth half of the P3 billion our GMA government so foolishly paid as an inexplicable "partial" payment to Fraport and PIATCO. What a let-down. When you see the new Bangkok airport, weep in frustration! We’re being made to look like 4th world, worse than Darkest Africa.

Yet we’re so conceited about ourselves. Our Senators and Congressmen, and our Presidenta, too, travel a lot. Don’t they see other international airports to compare?

It’s sad.

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THE ROVING EYE . . . Bangkok under "martial law"? An air of tension owing to the coup? Not at all. Here, it is business as usual. The malls are full. The Siam Paragon, a six-storey fantastic, futuristic mall eclipses anything we have, and was crammed with shoppers. Most of them were just enjoying, since the imported goods in that snazzy mall were pricey. Everybody was buying like crazy instead in the M.B.K. mall, our old reliable five-storey emporium just three blocks away, where local stuff and, uh, knock-offs are sold. Anyway, is there any novelty under the sun. In the prodigious Siam Paragon, everybody was enjoying the food and gourmet section, which has STARBUCKS, Dunkin’ Donuts, Auntie Annies, Haagen-Dazs, McDonald’s, Swensons, Au Bon Pain, and the Cream and Fudge Factory. In short, Bangkok’s the place to shop – and get stuffed. As usual.