Doctors make no house calls anymore

An opposition congressman has "exposed" the Arroyo's wealth abroad. So what? It's only money!

* * *

What's the root of all evil? The love of someone else's money is the root of all evil.

* * *

There are many millionaires in the country today. I want to be a millionaire too but I have to start with P900,000.

* * *

A mother complains to this paper that doctors no longer make house calls these days. Making house calls, especially at night, is now the job of burglars.

* * *

A news reporter told me that a policeman committed suicide because he got miffed by the nagging of his wife.

"Buotan polisa," commented my friend John Jaspe. "Faithful sa misis."

"Why? How come you say that?" I asked.

"Klarong way extra marital affair," John said. "Kay kun duna pa kadtoy uyab wa to maghikog. Bahala nag yawyawan si misis."

* * *

Five women who frequented the city jail have been discovered to be smugglers of shabu inside the jail. Reports reaching this column have it that the women managed to sneak in the drugs by slipping them into their genitals.

"What do you think of this?" I asked John, my friend.

"Bida, karon ra sila nakasakop ining paagi sa smuggling of shabu by women?" John said.

"Maybe karon pa. Who would think that some women would make pockets out of their....?"

* * *

Some schools are banning their students from entering Internet cafes. They claim that these Internet cafes are the reason why many of their students are making poor grades in exams.

"Maybe these schools have proof to show that the Internet cafes are really the cause of their students' poor performance," I told my friend John.

"Tingali duna silay pruweba," he said. "Pero kini bayang Internet joints nakatabang sa pagpa-computer literate sa atong mga students."

"Bitaw," I said in agreement. "Nay anak sa PUJ driver nga among silingan mas suheto pa kay nako sa pag-handle og computer. Mikatawa man gani pagkahibaw nga typewriter pa akong gigamit sa pagsuwat sa akong column."