Do couples still elope these days?

Would you believe that 50 years ago Senate president Tito Sotto had to convince Helen Gamboa to elope or in the vernacular, make tanan?

Now that’s a word I have not heard in a long time.

It was funny listening to Tito Sen tell his side of the story. He narrated how he convinced Tita Helen earlier that day to elope.  His plan was to pick her up before midnight, take her to Sto. Tomas, Batangas where a judge would be waiting to marry them and he would return her before sunrise so that Tita Helen’s parents will never know they tied the knot. However, when they got to Sto. Tomas, the judge was away on vacation! Horror of horrors, Tito Sen had to think quickly what to do. His friend, who was with him, volunteered that he knew the parish priest of Sto. Tomas. They woke up the priest and convinced the priest to officiate their wedding. But by the time they got back to Manila, it was daytime and the parents of Tita Helen got wind of what they did and of course, they were upset. Tita Helen was at the prime of her career and Tito Sen was “just” a budding band player… And so it was agreed that Tita Helen would still stay at her parents’ house while Tito Sen stayed at his. The public was not to know they were already married. It was only two years after that they publicly tied the knot.

Also in the ‘60s, FPJ and Susan Roces, the acknowledged king and queen of Philippine cinema, eloped. Their love story was also interesting. Before they eloped, they had just broken up.  She was compelled to attend the FPJ All-Stars basketball game at the Araneta Coliseum being the team’s muse and the leading lady of FPJ then. After the game, Susan went home to their family residence while FPJ followed her and waited for her till nighttime. Before midnight, she came out with her personal stuff and out the door and into the car of FPJ and drove her off to Valenzuela, Bulacan to get married in civil rights.

Senate president Tito Sotto and Helen Gamboa

The last high profile couple I know who eloped was Albert Martinez and the late Liezl Sumilang, only child of Amalia Fuentes and Bobby Vasquez back in the ‘80s. Theirs was also a beautiful love story. Amalia brought Liezl to San Francisco to separate her from Albert. But love knows no bounds and Albert followed to San Francisco and convinced Liezl to elope, too. Liezl climbed out the bathroom window into the arms of Albert and they were happily married till she passed away a couple of years ago.

Funny how relationships have evolved through the years.  Decades ago, you had to be set up by a relative or a mutual friend to go on a date. But recently, you just need to download an app and voila, you could meet your future partner with the click on your smart phone. In a matter of minutes, you can hook up.

For the more liberated or non-traditional, you can opt to live-in like what James Reid (he revealed this on national television) and Nadine Lustre chose to do. Or you can still take the traditional route of getting married which has become so complicated, stressful and could even break the bank! If you could afford it,  you will probably hire a lawyer to draft a pre-nuptial agreement.  After that, you will choose an engagement ring that is huge, sparkling and flawless. Similar to what Neil Arce gave Angel Locsin when he proposed to her (with social media, netizens can zoom in on the ring and you don’t want to get bashed online if you’re going to post it). Then you start assembling your wedding team. For the bride to be, the fashion designer who will create her wedding gown is key. It could be a Monique Lhuillier couture or an off-the-rack Vera Wang gown. Then you have to scramble for a date since churches and hotels or events places quickly run out (specially in December or January).

Albert Martinez and Liezl Sumilang

Then there’s the list of getting godparents, wedding planner, photographer/videographer,  make-up artist, hairstylist, social printer for your save-the-date invites and wedding invites, caterer, events stylist, florist, etc.

And if you want to take it a notch higher, there is also the destination weddings where you invite select family and friends to be with you on your special day somewhere picturesque and remote but they must pay for their own airfare and accommodations. This way you are assured that only those who feel really close to you (and who have the budget, too) will be there. Some of the celebrities who had destination weddings were Anne Curtis to Erwann Heussaff in New Zealand and Isabelle Daza to Adrien Semblat in Tuscany, Italy.

I had two failed marriages but I have two beautiful children that came from my second marriage (no kids from the first). I will be honest to admit that I had my share of faults and maybe gave up too easily. Staying married and being happily married are two completely different things. Staying married for the sake of being together even if both of you are miserable is not healthy. I also believe if you’re in an abusive relationship, get out as fast as you can. But if you’re lucky to be married to someone who loves you unconditionally, thank your lucky stars because you have become an endangered species.