Judy Ann on her best yet toughest choice as a mom

Manila, Philippines — This year, Absolute Distilled Drinking Water explores a territory of love uncommon to most mothers. A discovery of Pure Love and where it sits between the safe comforts of a mother’s love and the uncertainties of letting go.

In a discussion with Judy Ann Santos-Agoncillo, an Absolute Mom for seven years, she shares her own story on Pure Love—a discovery she slowly uncovered while raising her own family, and raising herself too, since she is now a mom to three children: Yohan, Lucho and Luna.

Absolute: What is the main difference in experience between being a new mom—back when you only had Yohan—and now that you also have Lucho and Luna?

Judy Ann: It was very different. I had Yohan when I was 26 and at that time parang ang bilis lang ng lahat. Hindi pa nag-sink in that I’m already responsible for the life of another human being. Noon, ang alam ko lang nagtatrabaho ako nang mabuti and I thought that was enough. When Lucho and Luna came, my perspective changed because nag-aalaga na ako ng toddler and ng infant at the same time. I learned to be more attentive and give more importance to the love and attention that I give.

A: Would you consider yourself a hands-on mom?

JA: I try to be as hands-on as I can to all of my children. But I cannot always be present because of the industry I’m in. There was a time when Lucho got into an accident, and I was out of town for work. Grabe yung guilt ko nu’n. It’s never easy. It took time para matanggap ko that it doesn’t make me a bad mom ‘pag hindi ko nakikita ‘yung milestones nila, or ‘pag wala ako if something bad happens. I am just blessed that I am surrounded by people who love my children. And I teach my kids also na may mga ibang tao din na nagmamahal and aalagaan sila. So they also learn to trust and respect them.

 A: What would be your biggest discovery about a mother’s love?

JA: You have to learn how to trust. Trust is one of the foundations of any healthy relationship. Parang sa amin din na mag-asawa, Ryan taught me the values of honesty, trust and respect. And this is what I teach our children, too. I learned, especially now that I have Yohan, Lucho and Luna that you have to trust them, so they also begin to trust themselves. You have to make them feel na may confidence ka sa ginagawa nila, and in return, magkakaron din sila ng tiwala at confidence sa mga ginagawa nila.

A: Do you think this is what pure love means? Trusting your children to make their own choices?

JA: I give my children space so they can have their own experiences. Isa ‘to sa mga discoveries ko sa sarili ko as my experiences also grew as a mom. I make it a point to make my kids feel that I trust them. So they also trust me back and hindi sila takot magsabi sa amin ng experiences nila, kahit good pa ‘yan or bad. I remind them na ‘wag matakot because kahit ano pang pagdaanan mo sa buhay, lagi kang may matututunan.

Now that I am a mom of three, the way I understand pure love has evolved. Ngayon, it means I allow them to make their own decisions and may tiwala ako sa mga desisyon nila. I give them the freedom to choose their sports or hobbies, or if gusto nila tanggapin ‘yung endorsement deal or hindi.

A: What if they make decisions that you don’t agree with?

JA: I listen. Pinapakinggan ko sila and I try to understand that best way I can. Pero syempre I also make them understand my point of view and sa paraan na maiintindihan nila—kung tama ba ‘to or hindi? Before, I used to overanalyze their decisions, pero I learned na they’re kids, and kids say what they feel. So it’s a learning discovery din for me.

A: How would you encourage other moms to show their pure love?

JA: Probably isa ito sa mga pinakamahirap gawin bilang nanay, kasi takot tayo mag-let go. But always remember that they will only learn how to trust themselves when we make them feel that we trust them first. To moms, hindi natin malalaman how much they will grow if hindi natin sila bibigyan ng chance. We let go little by little, so we allow them to grow and be their own person. That’s what I’ve learned about pure love today. It’s trusting them so they can be their own person.

Judy Ann's greatest discovery yet as a mom is realizing there is pure love that continuously grows within her. Photo Release

Motherhood is indeed a journey of trust for Judy Ann. It is learning to co-create this life filled with decision-making together with her children, and that her greatest discovery yet as a mom is realizing there is pure love that continuously grows within her.

Absolute celebrates #PureLoveTrusts

For the first time in her seven years with Absolute, Judy Ann Santos-Agoncillo stars in a first-ever TVC with her children Yohan, Lucho and Luna, celebrating of the brand’s newest campaign, #PureLoveTrusts. This gives light to one of the biggest fears and milestones of a mother—trusting and letting go.

Absolute aims to inspire mothers to find the heart to trust their children’s own decisions. To understand that trusting is a continuous learning process—from supporting their decisions, being present as they face the consequences, to helping them make sense of all of it. It also means hoping that whatever choices they make, these will eventually lead them to the people they’ve always hoped of becoming.