So what makes a happy wife?

Are basketball marriages more stable than showbiz marriages? Do they last longer…forever? Is there less stress between basketball couples than there is between showbiz couples?

Perhaps the answers to these questions may be provided by the new TV5 show Happy Wife, Happy Life which premieres this morning as part of the network’s beefed-up morning block.

Hosted by Danica Sotto (wife of Marc Pingris), LJ Moreno (of Jimmy Alapag who has just retired), Jeck Maierhofer (of Rico Maierhofer) and RR Enriquez (partner of JJ Helterbrand), HWHL aims to give viewers a peek into the four ladies’ daily lives and how they handle challenges.

Funfare puts them on the spot.     

What do you think makes a happy wife?

Danica: A happy home with a husband who reassures her and who is a loyal partner, a wife who has a relationship with God.

LJ: A happy wife is one who is secure with herself and with her husband’s love for her.

RR: A wife’s happiness is significantly related to how her husband treats her. I think it boils down to the fact that when a wife is satisfied with the marriage she tends to do a lot more for her husband, which has a positive effect on her as a happy wife.

Jeck: I think it makes you a happy wife if you are contented with what you have, if your husband is faithful and provides well for the family.

How can you tell if you and your partner are really compatible? Do you accept each other’s differences?

Danica: Yes, we respect each other’s differences. Someone has to give; they must take turns in giving and also go the extra mile. That’s what love does. Walang perfect guy or perfect girl.

LJ: You can tell if a couple is compatible when they inspire each other to be the best and not bring the other down. You may not agree with all your partner’s opinion but you respect it.

RR: I guess despite your differences you can still be compatible because having different beliefs, views, opinions and values are understandable and normal naman, because we are all different. And I guess a lot of couples struggle with their own differences.

Jayjay and I used to fight a lot but starting from when we became Christians, we learned to accept our differences and not to fight over small nonsense. Pag nasa restaurant kami he will ask me what do you want to order and then I’ll tell him ikaw na lang pumili and then pag andyan na ‘yung food I’ll get mad, “Ano ba ‘yang order mo? Di ko naman gusto ‘yan.” And then he’ll get mad, “That’s why I asked you to order tapos ngayon magri-reklamo ka.” Eh kung mataray ako mas mataray si palakang Jayjay! Madalas kasi magka-iba kami ng gusto sa food.

The HWHL ladies with their mates (from left): Danica with Marc Pingris, RR with JJ Helterbrand, LJ with Jimmy Alapag and Jeck with Rico Maeirhofer

But now that we are Christian, we surrender everything to God and let God take control in our lives; we have learned to accept and love your differences as a couple. I trained myself to love the food that he wants and also ganoon din siya.

Jeck: If you and your partner are compatible it means you enjoy doing things together. If you have one goal in life, like for example we are both ambitious, we have so many plans to do in our lives, kasi pag ‘yung isa sa amin walang pangarap or negative sa buhay, nakakahawa naman ‘yun. Hindi masaya may makasama ka na imbes na i-encourage ka, idi-discourage ka kasi wala siyang goal, such as to travel the world, to build our dream house, etc. I’m more comfortable to live with someone who loves to have a lifetime adventure with me, and that’s my hubby

How do you keep peace and harmony at home?

Danica: Avoid using hurtful words. If ever you’ve said something hurtful, always say sorry. Be honest with how you feel. No mind games. Go out on dates. Talk, talk, talk to each other.

LJ: We have God at the center of our relationship and we make sure we communicate with each other well.

RR: It’s funny because every time na meron kaming di pinagkasunduan ni Jayjay before (Praise God we don’t argue anymore!) he’s the type of guy who needs space for the meantime, like he doesn’t want to talk to me. Eh, ako pa naman sobrang kulit ko. When I know that he’s angry, the more I make him asar and that forces him to mind me. It’s funny because his silence would usually last for five hours! As in kaya niya talaga hindi magsalita at ini-ignore ako kahit nakadikit lang ako sa kanya at kinukulit ko siya.

Jeck: We always make it a point to talk about everything lalo na pag may problema. Pero minsan lang ‘yan, mas madami kaming happy topic kesa problema.

How do you sort things out after a misunderstanding?

Danica: By talking to each other usually in our room without anyone listening and without kids around.

LJ: Once we are both calm we talk about it. Usually one of us gives in which is a good thing.

RR: It’s funny coz before n’ung hindi pa kami Christian pag nag-away kami may lalayas agad, break agad-agad, or worse may magbabasag ng gamit or ako mananakit talaga ako, sobrang physical ako. Now as Christians, we keep calm. I have stopped being violent or destroying things. We are not perfect but we have improved a lot.

Jeck: Ephesians 5:22, submit to your husband. Ganyan lang kami pag may misunderstanding. But most of the time, it’s Rico who sort things out. I keep mum and I stop talking when I’m mad. Si Rico, he can’t sleep until the problem is solved.

In these trying times (age of social media), what’s the best way of bringing up kids?

Danica: Go to the park. Sport is very important or outdoor activities. Limit use of gadgets and raise them knowing The Lord.

LJ: We try to keep our kids off the gadgets and engage more in physical play.

RR: Let your kids know Jesus. Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. I have a nephew, he’s only two years old and he knows how to pray na. Pag sinabi namin, “Pray Baby Sky, he’ll close his eyes and say amen.” Every time he sees a church, he would say, “Amen, Papa Jesus.” I didn’t grow up knowing Jesus that’s why I committed so many mistakes. I want to train my future children to love God so they won’t commit the same mistakes that I made.

Jeck: My son is one year old. He knows how to use iPad na. I have a nine-year-old stepson; his toy is iPad. They have Instagram pa nga (tash_calel_maierhofer). It’s okay, di natin mapipigilan yan. But sa house rules namin, may time ang paggamit nila ng iPad, and they play basketball pa din. They go to the playground, they swim and siempre kasama kami minsan pag walang work. That’s what Rico and I missed as kids. Busy mga magulang namin. Most of the time mga mommy lang namin may time, hahaha! We don’t want our own kids to experience that. We try to spend more time with them.

Rate yourself as a wife.

Danica: Maybe a six out of 10. I know I still have a lot of things to learn but I also know I always give my best and take care of my home. I’m just not perfect.

LJ: 8.5.

RR: FYI, I’m not a wife. I’m not yet married. If you asked this question when I was 18 to 30 years old, I will honestly tell you I rate myself zero because I honestly have no desire at all of getting married and having kids. But now that I’m 31 and have become a Christian, I’ll rate myself nine. Why? Nine lang ha, not 10; pag 10 kasi perfect na ‘yun and si God lang ang perfect. Nine because I am trained by God. God is my trainer and He is preparing me now to become a better wife and a good mother to my kids. 

Jeck: I think I’m nine. There is no such thing as perfect.

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