My 16-day ordeal (First of three parts)

I thought I was extremely healthy prior to my hospitalization. If my memory serves me right, this was my first serious hospitalization in over 20 years. I went to a hospital once some 10 years ago but it was just for a quick procedure/check-up.

I had a lot of fear and misconceptions about being hospitalized. Everytime I’d get into a hospital, I would feel all sorts of pain and I would almost immediately weaken. I thought I lived a healthy life. I was exercising, eating the right food and getting my eight to 10 hours of sleep (not realizing that going to bed at 5 o’clock or 6 o’clock in the morning was deleterious). I was going into all sorts of diets because I was fixated on the body of Lupita Nyong’o. I was taking laxatives, supplements that people proclaimed with ex-cathedra certainty that they had the power to exorcise unwanted fats. I didn’t know that I was hurting my own body.

Three weeks before I was hospitalized, I had headaches but I would take paracetamol tablets and I would be fine. I had on and off fever and antibiotics would take care of it. I was not mindful of my body until there were some nights when I would chill so badly I thought I was being possessed by some playful spirits. In the morning, I would be okay and meetings, contract negotiations, tapings would happen as scheduled as if nothing happened. My schedule has always been predictably haywire. I was overworking. I was exhausted but I refused to acknowledge that I was tired. I thought nothing bad was ever going to happen because I was Iron Man.

I had severe headache and a 43-degree fever when I was admitted to the hospital. I went into a convulsion. I was chilling violently. I was gnashing my teeth. I was biting my lips and tongue and I was bleeding. It was scary! Thank God, I was in the hospital and there were doctors to attend to me. This was the first day of my 16-day hospital ordeal.

What was a typical day for me inside the hospital room? I would wake up in the morning and eat my breakfast. Everything tasted bland and tepid. But I would eat. I needed to eat. I was very weak. Then I would take my lunch. I prayed, read and watched The Tyrant, House of Cards, etc. that Kris Aquino uploaded for me on a tablet. By late afternoons, I would be by the window. I would name the buildings outside St. Luke’s Global City. I would talk to them and laugh with them like a small boy. Then I would pray again, talk to myself, read and feel the pain.

I would be X-rayed and CT-scanned. There were a lot of blood extractions and medical tests. Doctors came in and out of the room. They tested my lungs, my heart, my blood and my liver. They also prayed for and with me.

I was in pain. I didn’t want to be dependent on painkillers. Inserting needles for IV and CT scan was dreadful because my veins would easily collapse. One time, they tried to insert a needle on my right hand five times and it was excruciatingly painful.

I had a deal with my longtime partner Bong Quintana. I told him, “Bong, alam mo naman I’m not used to complaining. Hayaan nyo lang ako. Pag masakit, aaray talaga ako.” The pain was torturous.

Days were long but I knew I had to stay inside the hospital because there I was safe. I didn’t want to second guess as to what was happening. I knew I was being taken care of by some of the best doctors in the country. I didn’t want to go home and take chances.

In the hospital, I realized that when you’re pushed against the wall, when blood is extracted from you, when there is so much pain, when you’re operated on, when you are helpless and powerless, you completely surrender to God. I did.

I told the doctors to do all the necessary tests. Was I afraid? Yes, but I was solid in my resolve to get well. Was I afraid to know the results? Yes, but I was ready. I had nothing but God’s grace.

Test results showed something was wrong with my liver. They needed to aspirate/drain the abscess they discovered in my liver. I asked to be sedated and agreed to the procedure. I was told that a large needle was poked into the right side of my body. Ultrasound-guided, it entered my body and went through the ribcage and then to the liver. And then they aspirated whatever abscess they could. Right after the aspiration, a pigtail was attached to my body for three days to drain the excess abscess. A total of almost 300ml of abscess was extracted from my liver. Praise God, the abscess was not infected.

The whole time I was in the hospital, Nanay was told that I was abroad. When I was brought home, I went straight to her room. “Magaling ka na ba?” she asked. It was mother’s instinct.

Now, I’m well. I hope to be better in all that I am and in all that I do. I am grateful for the prayers, kind words, good wishes from friends and family. I am on my next chapter and I intend to make it better.