Lessons in alphabetical order

I still have to constantly remind myself to have the right attitude towards a lot of things. To say that it is innate in us to be positive may be true, but I believe that we also need to practice and to discipline ourselves to look at situations critically and learn — always learn from them.

In our past column, I wrote about the book Alphabet for Living by Patricia Russell McCloud. A stands for attitude, B for brainpower... down to P which is preparation. Now, we move to Q.

Q is for questions. I do have a lot of questions; in fact, I have more questions than answers. I have many unanswered questions and I’m comfortable with that. However, it’s good to ask ourselves why we are doing the work that we do, or why we are staying put in a relationship that does not bring out the best in us, or what is stopping us from living our dream. We have to ask ourselves questions to have a life well-lived, one that is without regrets. Ask questions and you will have a clearer direction.

R is for risk. I’m a risk taker, but it’s all a matter of consequence. Truth is, I have difficultly forcing myself to do a task that I do not enjoy. Inevitably, I experiment and take risks. Nothing wrong with that.

It’s fine to get out of your comfort zone. The more risks you take, the more you get out of life and opportunities to explore. Note: Risk-taking is not the same as being too much of a free spirit that you lose direction. Take risks but take calculated ones. 

S is for survival. How do you become a survivor? The book mentions tools that will help us survive, such as preparation, awareness, flexibility, selectivity (knowing when to say no), fortitude (hanging on), distinction (finding your own voice), expectant (raising the bar and believing in the best that life has to offer), perseverance and community (having people around who can hear you out). 

T is for truth. It’s important to show truthfulness and genuineness in your dealings, but just as important is to be true to yourself. “Honesty is such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue...” so says the song. Truth means being able to live yourself and even accepting the consequences of your actions and your decisions.

U is for unity. In our attempt to be heard, most of the time, we fail to create a harmonious relationship. I’m learning to keep my opinions to myself, especially if it won’t solve anything. What for?

Unity also means taking care of your relationships. All relationships are a work-in-progress and there’s just no room for taking each other for granted. We should not expect to be understood, if we can’t make an effort to understand. Unity is an aspiration of many, but we have to work towards relationships that are inclusive rather than exclusive.

V is for vision. It was Tito Ariel Ureta who told me never to let go of my dream. Many times, I’m asking myself why I’m doing the little business that we are doing, especially when it’s a bit difficult. â€œDon’t give up what you want most for what you want now.” Exercise patience and diligence to achieve your vision.

W is for willpower. The book mentions that we have the willpower to accomplish great things. It sounds unbelievable. I doubt even my capabilities. But what I’ve tried and tested is to focus on the small stuff, the details and being diligent every day. The small achievements will definitely add up to something substantial. 

X is for X-Ray. Like the process of scanning a patient to find out the real cause of the problem, we should be like X-Rays in getting the bottom of things on why people are the way they are. Really get to know people and show genuine concern. We all have our nuances, habits and issues because of our past hurts, our family backgrounds and our unique experiences. 

X-Ray allows us to see through a person’s individuality and appreciate them as such. 

Y is for YOU. You are your investment. How much time and effort have you committed to improve yourself? How much have you invested in yourself? In terms of investment, reassess how much time you have dedicated to improve on your financial status, your talents and skills. How much have you dedicated for your family and community. How much time have your invested in learning something new?

All the effort and time we spend on the littlest things contribute to person that we are, and the person that we want to be. 

Z is for Zodiac. Find your place under the sun. We are a child of the universe but a speck compared to the life around us. I agree with McCloud. It is truly humbling when we are reminded of how small we are in the greater scheme of things. On the other hand, it also reminds us of our greater purpose to be part of something beyond what we can comprehend. 

McCloud quotes Desiderata (also my favorite poem): “Be gentle with yourself. You are the child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars. You have the right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusions of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.” 

Believe in the good. 

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