2014: Things to learn, halu-halong hula-hula

According to the Chinese Calendar, the Year of the Horse is effective Jan. 31 (Chinese New Year) yet, but already showbiz is galloping to a quick start.

What could be in store for showbiz folks in the next 360-plus days?

Since the ranks of showbiz manghuhula have considerably dwindled (or haven’t you noticed?), Funfare’s 2014 traditional “halu-halong hula-hula” will follow suit and tone down its “predictions” to just a few, as usual based on a stack of movie magazines and tabs the credibility of which is far more reliable than the tarot cards shuffled crazy by the manghuhula. (By the way, how come no manghuhula was able to predict the siege in Zamboanga, the killer earthquake in Bohol and the supertyphoon that killed thousands in the Visayas?)  

Okay, let the fun (that’s what this piece is all about, or are you clueless?) begin!

Blind items

• Something tragic (knock on wood!) will tie up a hugely-disjointed family, drenched in copious tears.

• A network will be rocked by a major revamp (count the heads that will roll!).

• Fourteen couples broke up in 2013. Not that many would in 2014.

• A separated couple will reconcile, let bygones be bygones, with no apologies for the ugly words that trailed their breakup.

• A showbiz-related girl will give birth to a love child sired by an actor.

• An actress will make public the “kinky sex” that (she would claim, take it or leave it) her estranged actor-husband wanted her to try (for “variety,” you know) but she said she adamantly refused to.

• An actor intoxicated with success will fall from grace and land on hard ground with a thud as loud as his mouth.

• More weddings slated (in addition to those of Drew Arellano and Iya Villiania [anytime now?], Karylle and Yael Yuson in March, and Boots Anson-Roa and King Rodrigo in June).

• More TV shows from the top three networks will fold up (among them a popular morning show).

• How many more will follow Charice’s example and “out” themselves? Gaze at the stars!

Wide-awake items

• Kris Aquino will make an “earth-shaking” decision. (I’ll give you five to seven guesses.)

• Willie Revillame will make good his “I shall return!” promise.

• The Philippines almost scored a grand slam in international beauty contests but, sob and sigh, not that many bets will bring home (more) bacons (but more filmmakers will win awards abroad).

• After a bad year, Ai-Ai delas Alas will be back triumphant with a vengeance.

• Nora Aunor will finally be declared a National Artist (keep your fingers crossed!).

• Richard Gomez and Lucy Torres might (take note: italicized) give their unica hija Juliana a brother or sister.

• Sharon Cuneta will break “vow of silence” and resume lashing back at her bashers.

• Marian Rivera and Dingdong Dantes will make an important “announcement” (take note: in quotation marks).

• The ugly Barretto family feud will worsen as both sides will file more charges against each other. No end in sight just yet.

• Ryzza Mae Dizon, the 2013 Metro Filmfest’s Box-Office (Little) Queen, will be an even bigger (no pun intended) star…you bet?

*   *   *

And here are some things to learn in 2014:

• Learn to say no.

• Learn to scrimp and save (times are hard, or didn’t you feel it?).

• Learn to recite The Lord’s Prayer before you go to sleep and upon waking up.

• Learn to eat anything but in moderation.

• Learn to exercise more often.

• Learn to say “Hi!” to a person who envies or doesn’t like you. It will make you feel better and make whoever he may be worse.

• Learn to follow traffic rules.

• Learn to take it easy.

• Learn to be unselfish.

• Learn to remember not to forget to follow all those “learning” tips.

(E-mail reactions at [email protected]. You may also send your questions to [email protected]. For more updates, photos and videos visit www.philstar.com/funfare or follow me on www.twitter/therealrickylo.)

Surprise, surprise!

Ogie Alcasid (photo) cut short his holiday break in Australia (with wife Regine Velasquez and their son Nate) and came home hoping to tape a birthday episode for Sharon Cuneta, his TV5 show Mega & The Songwriter, only to be told that the show has been scrapped. But according to Funfare sources, Ogie and Sharon will topbill a new show. Sharon’s Madame Chairman sitcom is reportedly doing well, ratings-wise. Will Sharon finally do a movie this year, as her fans have been insisting? Just wait and see.

Just on leave

Because the timeslot of her dzMM program Rated Korina will be occupied effective today by Sakto, hosted by Amy Perez and Marc Logan (see story on Page D7), Korina Sanchez (photo) is rumored to be leaving ABS-CBN since her contract is expiring this month. ‘No,’ clarified Girlie Rodis (Korina’s manager), ‘Korina is just on leave from dzMM effective January, although she has asked permission as early as July last year, because she is taking her Masters in Ateneo. But she will continue to do TV Patrol and Rated K (her TV show).’