Gone but not forgotten

MANILA, Philippines - Losing a loved one is a natural part of life. Still, like anyone who has experienced the passing of a loved one, I, too, wallowed in sadness when my parents headed to the great beyond. I used to think that crying a river over someone’s  death only happens in soap operas, but I was wrong. Though I’m not the type who cries easily, I experienced that sudden outburst of tears during the early part of grieving.

My Mama died three years ago of lung cancer at 69. My Papa, who was then 70 years old and a Type 2 diabetic, followed one year and nine months after my mama passed away due to complications of the disease.

Coping with their loss was one of the hardest challenges we, five siblings, needed to face. There were times when we endured the pangs of yearning for our dear departed. I think having been in a tight-knit family made it more difficult to move on with our lives when our parents left us. When Mama was still alive, she never let the day passed without checking on each one of us through text messages. “Kamusta, nakaluto ka na ba?” was one message which she never failed to send twice to me, knowing too well that I love to do the eating more than working in the kitchen. I can cook, all right, but not as appetizing as that of Mama’s. And this,  Papa would say whenever he hears comments about my cooking, “’Di baleng di perpekto, ang importante ay alam n’yang gawin.” That’s why I always keep in mind those sayings, “It is better to do one percent of 101 things than 100 percent of one thing,” and “Fifty percent of something is better than 100 percent of nothing.” Oh, I’m on the verge of tears again having recalled that encouraging words from Papa.

I and my three other sisters had to leave our home sweet home when we started raising families of our own. My youngest brother was the only one left in the house with our parents. We just paid them a visit during weekends. But my loving and caring Mama didn’t mind dropping by our house either after hearing Mass or on her way home from the market to bring me my favorite putong puti and sumang yakap. There were even days when Mama and Papa would suddenly “popped” in front of our gate — with a casserole of viand — telling me that they’re going to eat lunch with me. They, too, loved to while the time away playing with my children in our house when they were still around. I am really missing those surprise visits now and I can’t help but shed tears every time I think of them. It is really saddening to realize the fact that I will never see them again in this life.

Not all people grieve with the same length of time but I can say that the intensity of my grief has lessened since I heard our parish priest’s sermon about losing a loved one. According to him, though we may no longer spend our life with our loved ones, we can still cherish the love they left in our hearts. They may be gone but they will never be forgotten. He added, “We will all pass through the stage of death because each has his own time. No amount of money or fame could prolong our stay here on Earth. Lahat tayo ay tatawagin at lahat ng materyal na bagay ay ating iiwanan. There will be some who will be called early in life while others will stay until they reach old age. Consider yourself lucky if your loved ones were with you for a longer period of time.”

I also remember those encouraging words from the priest that our dear departed were already in an immeasurably better place with the Lord — with no more fear, pain or sorrow. 

So for mama and papa, have fun moment with the Lord… until we meet again.