Are you happy? You can be!

An astrologer approached me and asked, “Are you always happy? It seems like you always are.” Generally, I am. 

That brief conversation made me decide on my topic for this weekend. Emphasis on “generally” I am happy, but not 100 percent of the time like…now.  So, as I am writing this, I am pensive and not jolly, bordering on grumpy and impatient. This is one of those days when I need a moment to be alone. 

I can easily put my finger on what’s causing this grumpiness…my lack of sleep. 

Needless to say, our outlook is very much affected by our body. Not only do I get grumpy when I lack sleep, but also when I’m hungry and when I’m sick, and —- the men would know this so well — during PMS, which is a good mood buster. Luckily, with my lack of sleep, a few zzzz’s is an instant upper. And I’m energized again.  

The state of our health, our body affects our overall mood, and needless to say, regular exercise will give you more energy and induce happy hormones — endorphins! 

Also an instant upper is dark chocolate, which is rich in serotonin. 

But perhaps Marco, the astrologer, had another kind of happy in mind, something that goes beyond the physical kind of happiness — which means having an optimistic attitude and a healthy disposition. I try. I believe it starts with the right attitude. We are what we think.

There are those, I believe, that are simply gifted with happy genes like my husband, Orange, his parents and my sisters-in-law. Staying happy seems effortless to them. The family was happy even in the midst of Mommy Clemy battling with cancer. They are special.

I was not born a bundle of joy. My Mama Elaine would attest that I was a crybaby, sumpungin and was difficult to get me ready for school. I was not even really a people person, and often I’d lock myself in my room writing in my diary. I was 70/30 (70 percent serious and 30 percent happy) when I was child. I think that has shifted to 30 percent pessimist and 70 percent optimist, thanks to life’s experience. Not my own but the sick people that I meet. They live in the present. Having that kind of perspective that they have, will make you see life from a different angle. Living in the present is the secret to happiness. We often take for granted each morning, each day. Be grateful. Wake up with a smile.

Dwelling so much on the past — our hurts, regrets, the mistakes we’ve committed — adds so much baggage in our lives. Learn to unload. Forgive others and forgive yourself by praying for the grace to be able to do so. Learn from your mistakes and make a better today.

Tomorrow is good because we dream, and we hope, but the tomorrow that we aspire for only happens if we embrace and seize today. I confess that the pessimist in me still lives because I am so much of a worrier. I prefer my life predictable and stable, and so lose my footing when confronted with something unanticipated. Again, unload. I unload through prayer. I unload my fears through my loved ones and my friends. To be happy, you also have to be realistic and honest with yourself. By unloading, you let other people into your life, and it also works the other way around. You let others unload through you, and you cultivate meaningful and deeper friendships. According to the book The Pursuit of Happyness, people with more friends also live longer. I’m also very blessed to be surrounded by happy people like our Lingkod Kapamilya team because our friends also influence our disposition. Good vibes. 

When I think about it, we’re a happy bunch because our work gives us a very strong sense of purpose. Work is never work. 

It all sounds so perfect, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not. Remember, I said I’m just 70 percent optimistic? I have pet peeves that can fill this entire column, but I am a work in progress. When I’m so pissed, it entails a conscious effort to let go. I notice that when something goes wrong, it has a domino effect throughout the day. We vent and take it out on other people and it ruins their day, and so on and so forth. On times like that, it helps to stop, pause and breathe! 

More often than not, people see me smiling. I smile when I’m happy and I still try to smile when I’m not quite. True, happiness is a disposition but more often, it’s a choice. As a quote from my favorite poem, Desiderata, goes: “Strive to be Happy.”

(Do e-mail me at [email protected] and follow me on twitter for updates @bernadette_ABS.)