What is Kaye afraid of?

I’ve always believed that Kaye Abad is an underrated actress. Ever since her Tabing-Ilog days, she has displayed a maturity in her acting that you don’t often see.

You could say that Kaye is so dedicated to her career that she has been “easy” on her lovelife — but she laughingly confesses that she never intentionally did so. Although in a relationship with actor-singer Guji Lorenzana, she doesn’t feel the urge to settle down. Her siblings, which include former child star Sarah Jane Abad, have already started their own families, but Kaye, the eldest of her parents’ three children, remains blissfully single. If her parents had anything to do with it, Kaye would probably already be married.

“I don’t feel any pressure although my parents are pressuring me,” she admits with a laugh. “Before,  ‘pag nagpapaalam ako umalis, sasabihin ng Daddy ko, ‘O, uwi agad pagkatapos.’ Nowadays, it’s different. Sometimes, he’d joke, ‘Wala, wala na akong pag-asa diyan.’”

It’s not that she has problems with her current relationship. “I’m not yet ready — that’s my feeling. I don’t feel ready yet. There are people saying that maybe it has something to do with my past. That maybe I’ve been traumatized, but that I’m just not aware of it, that’s why I still don’t want to get married. It’s really weird, but I really don’t know why. Though when I attend weddings, I do get jealous, I also want to see myself in that situation. However, that feeling will just pass. But you can never tell. Maybe in two or three years, I’ll be ready.”

She admits, though, to having certain fears about marriage that might explain her reluctance. “Maybe, I’m afraid. Ewan ko,” she says. “I really don’t know why. Maybe, I’m afraid it will fail. Alam ko, parang pinapangunahan ko na baka mag-fail ‘yung relationship. And getting an annulment is very expensive. Hindi mo na puwedeng isoli kapag nakuha mo na. Ay ewan ko!” exclaims Kaye.

But despite her single state, Kaye is happy. She’s happy with the way her career is going and the projects coming her way. In her opinion, maybe this is one reason why she hasn’t thought about settling down. “I’m happy. Maybe, the reason why I haven’t thought about it is because I’m enjoying my work,” says the actress, who is seen in the TV remake of Anna Liza, but in a role very different from the ones she used to play.

This time around, Kaye plays the role of child star Andrea Brillantes’ tormentor. It’s actually not her first time to take on a kontrabida role (her first was in Alyna opposite Shaina Magdayao) but she still finds it challenging, in a very different way. In Alyna, the character did not hurt her victim physically; in Anna Liza, there are some very physical scenes that have her throwing a bag at the child, pinching her or pulling her hair.

That’s why Kaye had to really study this role. Admittedly, ever since she started in showbiz, her roles have been — in Kaye’s own words — “pa-sweet.” When she first heard about this new show, she had her doubts “if I could do it.” And when she finally stepped in front of the camera during the first few taping days, she physically felt her fear and apprehension, especially in the scenes where she had to lay a hand on Andrea’s character.

“I was very nervous about it. Nanginginig ako at nilalamig ako kasi ang hirap manakit ng bata,” recalls Kaye. “Tapos sa ganyang role pa, na hindi naman malditang bata ‘yung character. Maybe, it would have been easier if the kid were a brat. But because the kid has not done anything to you, it’s really tough!”

She had to work extra hard to motivate herself. She even talked to her director Ted Boborol, and sought encouragement that she could do it. Fortunately, everywhere she turned, she got that encouragement, and that made her decide to go ahead and accept the project.

So if she defers marriage for a few more years, it would be totally understandable. A role like this doesn’t come along every day, and Kaye wants to be able to take advantage of all the opportunities so that if she does settle down, it won’t be with any regrets, only looking forward to what is to come.