Of myths & marriages

MANILA, Philippines - Marriage is an institution in peril, as headlines in the news abound of couples going their separate ways, mainly due to irreconcilable differences. One of the latest high-profile to fall apart is the Tom-Kat celebrity union, with Cruise and Holmes packing their bags to splitsville. When husband and wife are at odds, with children caught in the crossfire, we are saddened to admit that alas, the marriage was not made in heaven.

In myths around the world, enduring marriages are celebrated, with celestial blessings for the couple who have remained faithful despite the odds. When my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in 2007, we took our family to a Mediterranean cruise aboard the ill-fated Costa Concordia (recently shipwrecked off the coast of its home port, Genoa), and in the silvery shores of Greece and Cyprus, sought out the immortal story of Philemon and Baucis, the poor couple who wished to Zeus that they be guardians of the temple and that when time came for one of them to die then the other would die as well. Upon their death, the couple was changed into an intertwining pair of trees, one oak and one linden, standing to the last in the deserted boggy terrain.

Now, in our 30th year, we hied off to Wonderful Indonesia, where we saw the fabled Ramayana Ballet in the Prambanan temple complex, situated in Central Java, which is around 18 kilometers to the east of Yogyakarta. The temple, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, was built in the 10th century, with the largest temple compound dedicated to Shiva in Indonesia. Rising above the center of the last of these concentric squares are three temples decorated with reliefs illustrating the epic of the Ramayana, dedicated to the three great Hindu divinities (Shiva, Vishnu and Brahma) and three temples dedicated to the animals who serve them.

This dramatic performance beautifully tells the story of Rama and Sita, the devoted couple from the Hindu epic, Ramayana, which is usually organized on full moon days for its visitors. Rama, the prince of Ayodhya and his wife Sita are the ideal high born couple. Rama is brave, wise and dutiful, and Sita is beautiful, devoted and saintly. Sita gets introduced to Rama at a ceremony called Swayamvara, where princes from various kingdoms are invited and challenged to string a giant bow. Only the mighty Rama could lift the bow, string it and even break it into two halves, leading Sita to garland Rama as her husband.

Like in many telenovelas, the couple faces trials that lesser mortals would find insurmountable. Rama fell victim to the evil scheme of his father’s favorite wife and was vanished into the forest for 14 years. Sita follows him there, but while living a simple yet happy life in the forest, she was abducted by the demon king Ravana. Aided by the monkey-general Hanuman, Rama rescues Sita.

But as in many blockbuster feel-good movies, Rama and Sita return to Ayodhya after their exile and are warmly welcomed back by the citizens of the kingdom, where they rule for many years, and have two sons — Luv and Kush. Unfortunately, Sita’s chastity during her period of capture by Ravana comes under scrutiny, and she has to go through trial by fire to prove her purity.

The Ramayana Ballet performed in Prambanan Temple is basically a folklore version of the original epic from India. The slow-moving dance of almost 100 dancers in colorful costumes, accompanied by the gamelan orchestra on both sides of the stage, enhances the narrative in the cycle of the couple’s dharma or upholding the higher truths of duty/propriety. The ballet is divided into two parts, the first ending in a spectacular conflagration scene, with huts being set on fire by Hanuman. The feat becomes more majestic with the spires of the Prambanan Temple in the background, lit by the lambent rays of the waxing moon.

The 30th anniversary is symbolized by Pearl, and for couples who have weathered three decades or more of the roller-coaster ride of love and marriage, simply having someone to hold hands while taking life’s journey (like the poor Greek couple Philemon and Baucis and the Hindu royal consorts Rama and Sita) is the Pearl of Great Prize. As what John Balquy wrote: “Contentment is the pearl of great prize, and whoever procures it as the expense of ten thousand desires makes a wise and happy purchase.”