An in-law story

There are many stories about in-laws enough to scare a bride or a wife about marrying into her husband’s family.

Marry into. Like it or not, that is how it is for most Filipino families: You marry someone, you marry into their family. It’s almost four years since I became an Aguinaldo, by affinity, but it sure feels like I was born an Aguinaldo because of the kindness of my in-laws. In the beginning, I admit that as a daughter-in-law, I was extra careful with my opinions and actions because of certain idiosyncrasies that can be misconstrued. Reality is, couples come from different backgrounds, hence differences may arise. But my experience as a daughter- in-law was never a pain, because my husband’s family is so easy to get along with. I have to thank my mother- in-law, Mommy Clemy for that. (I adore my father-in-law, Papa Boon, too, but it’s Mother’s Day so I will reserve my raving about Papa Boon some other time.)

I’ve never seen anyone wear a duster so gracious and dignified like my mother-in-law. Perhaps it’s because of her fine demeanor, and her postura that is always super straight body, and she is not comfortable in wearing flats. Or maybe it’s because she has a nice long neck that adds to her elegance.

Mommy Clemy is never loud, but so often you would hear her uttering some Spanish word — but it’s actually Chabacano, a dialect spoken in Zamboanga and Cavite City.

However, to say that such elegance or breeding comes with a snooty attitude is wrong. In fact, she is the opposite of extravagance. She is everything simple, child-like.

Mommy Clemy and Papa Boon don’t mind commuting, taking  the small colorful baby buses in Cavite City, or the ferry from Cavite City to Roxas Boulevard (when there was still one) and travel all the way to Quezon City to take care of their grandchildren, every week.

Grandparents reading this column perhaps won’t be surprised. That is, after all how most grandparents are, especially when it comes to their grandchildren. But to add to my testament to Mommy Clemy’s simplicity was when she was struck by cancer two years ago.

She first noticed a lump in the upper part of her neck, and later we discovered that Mommy had nasopharyngeal cancer. Immediately the family sought options for Mommy’s treatment which led her to Fuda Hospital in Guangzhou, China.

Some relatives were not absolutely supportive of the idea of Fuda because it can get depressing to be in China while undergoing treatment. Perhaps to some patients. But mommy?

When she arrived in China with my sister-in-law, Missy, they went on a binge! Eating everywhere and getting foot spas!

Such is the attitude of my in-laws towards life. Uncomplicated. Sick? You seek out options. Not once did I see my husband and my sisters-in-law melodramatic or cry about it. And it was not because they did not care. We all love mom!

During these supposed trying times, Mommy never lost her sense of humor. 

When they were shopping for a wig in China, she uttered “I have cancer” to get a discount! And again, in the airport, first she refused to take a wheelchair but when she learned that sick patients got priority, she was flashing her cancer like a senior citizen discount! “I have cancer,” she would say it with a smile.

I  wonder if it was strength that my Aguinaldo family possessed, and realized it was their simplicity of spirit.

In fact, mom is ready for what fate has for her, but she knows it would be wrong not to fight the disease. Hence she went through chemo, cryosurgery, radiotherapy, etc.

Did the treatment work? Well, her left ear was affected by the radiotherapy and her saliva glands, too, but I think it did though her doctor may say otherwise. I sometimes forget she has cancer because she remains normal and cheerful.

Last week, I was egging on Mommy Clemy and Papa Boon to go on an Avengers movie date, then she reminded me she can’t hear well. Oops! We burst into laughter.

This is the simple delight that our family has, like an excerpt from the movie, A Beautiful Life. And really, I can say that I’m the luckiest daughter-in-law or sister-in-law in the world because of the family that I found. I married a wonderful and amazing husband, and I have to thank his family for the man that he is.

Mommy Clemy, happy Mother’s Day. 

And to my husband, Orange... Happy birthday! 

To my dearest Mama Elaine, we love you soooo much. Orange and I are so proud to have such wonderful mothers. We are blessed to have you.