Have a big laugh in The Year of the Dragon

I welcome the Year of the Dragon (which starts on Jan. 23, the Chinese New Year) with a big laugh. Hahahahahahaha!!!! After all, isn’t laughter still the best medicine? As they often remind us, laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and you cry alone.

I have to thank whoever gave me a copy of The Best of Chico & Delamar’s On Air, The Morning Rush Top 10 last Christmas. I opened the book while caught in a horrible traffic jam and I couldn‘t put it down. I laughed and laughed so hard and so long that I didn’t notice the traffic not moving at all. I didn’t mind.

In case you didn’t know, the book’s Foreword will remind you that Chico and Delamar are not just seasoned radio jocks who have been hosting The Morning Rush on RX 93.1 since 1996, and that “the tandem is an institution that set the bar for unparalleled hosting on FM radio…and continue to influence generations of music lovers by reinventing themselves and adapting to the ever-changing competitive media environment.”

Chico Garcia is a Broadcast Communications graduate from UP who “loves working in radio for the flexible, four-hour workdays but hates not having any holidays, and would probably be a writer if he weren’t a DJ.” Delamar Arias is an AB History graduate also from UP, gifted with “a pretty good singing voice, but can keep an audience glued to the radio just by talking.”

The tandem gave Top 10 Reasons why we should read their book and I can mention only one of them, No. 1: It will change your life forever.

Oops!!! Before I get carried away, let me share with you some entries (only the printable ones) from various chapters.

• Funny Gay Quotes

• “Let’s get one thing straight…I’m not.” — ABERNATHY

• Gay guy wearing a mini-skirt: “Di baleng makita ang legs, ‘wag lang ang eggs.” — CYBER MUMU

• HOST: “Of your body parts, which is your favorite?” GAY BEAUTY CONTESTANT: “My neck. Because my neck holds my head, which will hold the crown later tonight. Thank you.” — LOI POGI

•  Taray Quotes

• (At a swimming pool) CO-WORKER 1: “I’m sure lulutang ka.” CO-WORKER 2: “Bakit dahil payat ako?” CO-WORKER 1: “Hindi, dahil plastic ka.” — ANDEE

• (Sa isang turo-turo) CUSTOMER: “Miss, may langaw sa arroz caldo ko!” TINDERA: “Sa halagang limang piso, ano’ng gusto mo, manok?” — ARVIE

• Someone told me: “Ang ganda mo!” I answered, “I wish I could say the same for you.” — MAYMAY

•  Best Break-Up Lines

• BOY: “Anesthesia ka ba? Bakit hindi mo nararamdaman na mahal kita?” GIRL: “Amnesia ka ba? Bakit hindi mo naaalaala na binasted na kita?” — YONTEFIAN

• GIRL: “Roller coaster ka ba?” BOY: “Bakit, dahil exciting ako?” GIRL: “Hindi, kasi tinitignan pa lang kita, nasusuka na ‘ko.” — HIKARUJEAN

• GIRL: “May lugar sa puso ko na nakalaan para sa’yo.” BOY: “Talaga? Saan?” GIRL: “Sa labas.” — SPY Q

•  Kiddie Jokes

• Q: “Ano ang tawag sa anak ng Taong Grasa?” A: “Baby Oil.” — NO NAME

• Q: “Ano ang tawag sa kuto na nasa ulo ng kalbo?” A: “Homeless.” — TZIKITITA

• KID: “‘Nay, ano ulam natin?” MOM: “Tignan mo sa ref.” KID: “Wala naman tayong ref, ah!” MOM: “Eh di wala tayong ulam!” — NO NAME

• Stupid Answers to Game Show Questions

• Q: “Kung vegetarian ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay, ano naman ang tawag sa kumakain ng tao?” A: “Humanitarian?” — PANCHO

• Q: “Saan nakukuha ang sakit na AIDS?” A: “Sa motel?” — KID BUKID

• Q: “Saan binaril si Jose Rizal?” A: “Sa likod!” — ESPEKS

• Questions to ask in a “Miss Ugly” Contest

• “Saan ka mas naiinis, ‘pag tinutukso kang pangit, o ‘pag tinutukso kang maganda?” — HOMER SINGSON

• “’Pag kinuha ka sa remake ng Beauty and the Beast, sino’ng artista ang gusto mong gumanap na Beauty?” — MARK RHYAN

• “Kapag natalo ka sa contest na ito, ikaw ba ay malulungkot o sasaya?” — KIRKY MOMMY

•  Memorable headlines

•About a criminal midget psychic who escaped from prison: “Small Medium, At Large.” — GREG

• “Bulag Na Nag-Amok, Nagdilim Ang Paningin!” — NENENG

• “Tahanang Walang Hagdan, Inakyat!” — OSCARDELAHOPIA

• Ways to Complete the Statement: “__________Ka Ba? Kasi________.”

• “Tindera ka ba ng sigarilyo? Kasi, you give me HOPE and MORE.” — PAJODAEP

• “Manananggal ka ba? Kasi hinahanap ko ‘yung better half ko, e.” — CUSTER WINSTON

• “Straw ka ba? Kasi hindi ka lang sipsip, plastic ka pa!” — YONTEFIAN

Oops (again)!!! I think I’m getting carried away. Can’t help it. The book is so engrossing.

Anyway, to stay healthy, buy a copy of the book (published by Summit Media). As I said, it will make you laugh and laugh and laugh, which is a good exercise for your heart and lungs.

Imagine a world without the sound of laughter? It would be tantamount to a world without the sound of music!

Thank you, Chico and Delamar, for making the world a “sounder” place to live in!

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