Smart & hilarious answers to 2011 Miss U questions

The last Miss Universe pageant got a lot of us talking again about beauty contests and the much-anticipated Q & A portion of the pageant outside of Sao Paulo, Brazil. The global community has had depressing prospects on the economy, peace issues and the alleged sexual dalliances of Silvio Berlusconi and Dominique Strauss-Kahn. Of course, Novak mercilessly trounced Rafa in the US Open and burglars broke into the Pacquiao mansion in L.A. So the Miss Universe was a whiff of fresh air with our very own Shamcey Supsup finishing fourth among 81 of the world’s most beautiful.

One of the most talked about was, of course, the questions and how the Top 5 answered them. We gathered some friends and asked them to answer the Miss Universe 2011 questions. Here they are and all the possible answers from the smart to the dumbest, from the blasé to the hilariously insane. Have fun!

If you could trade lives with anyone in history, who would you choose and why?

Jamie Almario: Coco Chanel because there is a strong demand for coco wine in the world. Ay siya ba yon?

Dale Magdangal: Bakit? Ang ganda ko no?

K Brosas: Queen Elizabeth. I consider her the epitome of beauty, intelligence and strength in a woman. And I would like to experience how it is to be married not to one man but to a country. Charoz!

Bemz Benedito: I want to trade lives with Mother Teresa. It is a grand dream. The simplicity of her lifestyle and the singlemindness of her dedication serve as an inspiration to me and an example for generations to come.  If everyone can emulate her enormous love, sincere compassion and humility then this world will be much easier for all of us including LGBTs.

Rio Zapanta: I don’t like. Ayoko. May I call my interpreter please?

Would you change your religious beliefs to marry the person you love? Why or Why not?

Jamie: God is love and love is God bakit pa? Sabi nga nila love is a rosary full of mysteries.

Dale: I am what I am. Religious beliefs don’t matter after all. Love is a many splendored thing.

K Brosas: I would not change my religion. Marriage is all about love and respect. So if he really loves me he would have to respect my religion as I would respect his. Compromise. There are so many religions but I believe that there is only one God. I thank you. Bow!

Bemz: No, because what is essential is the love and respect that we will have as partners in life. Religion will not define the relationship of two people who are mutually loving and respecting of each other. Personally, I am in a five-year relationship where our religious beliefs are different and we are able to love sincerely and completely.

Rio: Ay ayoko nga bahala siya sa buhay niya. Bakit kailangan pang baguhin, no? Magdasal siya, magdadasal din ako. Pag nasa Quiapo church ako, e di punta muna siya sa Raon, tapos magkita na lang kami sa ilalim ng tulay ng Quiapo.

Lots of places have nude beaches. Is public nudity appropriate or inappropriate?

Jamie: No. Repeat the question please? I thank you. Wait. Saan ang mga beaches na yan? Mapuntahan nga. Joke lang.

Dale: Public nudity is inappropriate for me. Ayoko maghubad, no?

K Brosas: Here in the Philippines it would be inappropriate because we still consider ourselves as conservative people. It is our culture. It may be inappropriate to us but not to others. (Serious)?

Bemz: Public nudity is appropriate as long as it is confined to places that adhere to such conditions. But to do nudity in places that don’t conform to such practice is also foul and a clear violation to the rights of others.

Rio: Ok lang at walang masama kung accepted ang public nudity sa lugar na yon kung saan maraming hubad. Pero kung mag hubad ka sa harap ng simbahan, hulihin ka kaya. Kulungan ang bagsak mo, day.

How would you avoid fighting a war you don’t agree with?

Jamie: Ang tumititig ay iba sa tumitingin. Nasagot ko ba?

Dale: Please, ayaw ko ng away, in any form. I want peace and love.

K Brosas: I firmly believe in diplomacy. I believe that war is never the answer, no matter how necessary, or justified. All the arms we need are for hugging not for war.

Bemz: I should encourage and promote dialogue between conflicting parties so it can eventually lead to peace agreements.

Rio: Avoid. Di ba? Tama ba? Ang dami daming gagawin sasali ka pa sa giyera at mapatay ka pa. Sayang beauty, no?

If you could change one of your physical characteristics, which one would you choose and why?

Jamie: I choose and I don’t know why? Lahat kaya? Hahaha.

Dale: I’m happy! Why change anything?

K Brosas: I already did. Thanks to Calayan!

Bemz: When I was young and didn’t have any concept of transgenderism, I would always end up in tears as I watched my body in the mirror. I was confused and hurt that my anatomy doesn’t match my feelings and my mindset as a woman. So at that time, I would like to undergo procedures to change my physical looks to the gender identity that I am living with. I haven’t had sex reassignment surgery but I am already happy even if I don’t reach that point of having one because for the past 32 years of my life I’ve lived the life of a woman.

Rio: Sa ganda kong ito? Naku wag na noh! Pero teka, ilong siguro? Pero sino ang magbabayad? Hahaha.

We all promise not to talk about the Q and A portion of this year’s Miss Universe. Promise.