Sexual behavior: What's normal and abnormal?

I was in my teens with my friend, Christine, in the corridors of a mall when, out of nowhere, a man was approaching us, pants down and masturbating! It scared the wits out of us.

And surprisingly, producers at work have similar stories of perversion to tell: An exhibitionist in the MRT station, or the peeping toms at the pedestrian overpass in EDSA or in comfort rooms. Such perversion is so common.

The medical term for this is paraphilia. Psychiatrist Dr. Paul Lee explains that there are certain sexual behaviors that are acceptable as human beings, but what sets apart the normal from the abnormal behavior is how we think of sex, and whether it is harmful to oneself and others.

Dr. Margie Holmes adds that it’s normal to have sex even seven times in a day (or for a couple to have sex only once a month) — as long as it does not disrupt a person’s daily activities, and it does not affect other people. 

Interestingly enough, we received a lot of questions through text in our show Salamat Dok. Generally speaking, Dr. Margie (my Tita Margie) says that a lot of people are still not comfortable to talk about sexual problems up front. This goes not only for Filipinos, but for other cultures as well. 

Viewers got their chance to be anonymous and here are some of the questions they sent to us through text which were answered by Dr. Holmes and Dr. Lee.

Is it normal to have sex three times a night? Yes.

Do people, who have sex, live healthier lives? Not necessarily, depends on how long it lasts.

Is it a disorder to masturbate every day? Yes

Do men think about sex more than women, and does this make them a sex addict? No. 

A lot of the answers to the questions really depend on the history of a patient, Dr. Lee explains. Certain behaviors can only be explained if you know a person’s history, and in certain cases, it can also be genetic. 

Going to a psychiatrist will help a lot. Dr. Margie was quick to add that a good psychiatrist is important, especially in paraphilia cases where a doctor must be broadminded and won’t pass judgment on his patient. 

We also tackled “OC-ness” in Salamat Dok. OC stands for obsessive compulsiveness. I know a number of people who cannot live without an alcohol gel because of the germs. And someone has to fix everything in a particular order. But let’s be careful with labeling people with an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). It is often misused and abused. As long as it does not disrupt one’s functioning, then he’s fine. It is not a disorder.  

It is important to see a doctor because some cases of obsessive-compulsive behavior can be a result of the serotonin levels in our system that can affect our compulsion. Support of relatives and friends is very important for people with OCD, because they may be unaware of the problem. It can be shown through calling one’s attention to remind him about his obsessive-compulsive behavior. Take it easy.