Ebe: Time to be back

Manila, Philippines - A frontman going solo is always heartbreaking news to many a fan as it almost always signals the beginning of the end of a band. When things are perceived to be doing great and yet the lead singer opts for “solitude,” it’s so easy to cite egomania, creative differences or even economic pressure as culprit. But it’s not always the case.

Over four months since his last gig with Sugarfree, its former frontman and main songwriter Ebe Dancel announced during an intimate listening party hosted by his new label Warner Music Philippines that he was finally striking it solo. It took the emotionally-charged single Paalam Sa Kahapon from his debut album Dalawang Mukha Ng Pag-Ibig to “revisit” his departure from his band of 12 years.

Ebe, visibly nervous in his first-ever “public appearance” since the breakup, explains: “The idea of the song came when I knew that time was running out and that pretty soon, I would be saying goodbye to friends and to a lifestyle. I was crying when I was recording it because everything I wanted to tell friends and family, I was able to tell it through this song.”

The recurring word in the song is kailangan. Was it really “necessary”? One had to ask: If he didn’t leave, could things have turned ugly?

“It’s a very difficult question, but I don’t want to say anything to hurt other people. I just felt that I wanted to leave before that chance to ruin it all comes up. I’ve long thought of leaving but not to go solo. It wasn’t an easy decision because my band was my life. (But) as early as 2004 when we made the album Drama Machine, I’ve always wondered what it felt like when it was only me,” Ebe says.

In fairness to Ebe, he had made proper goodbyes to bandmates as well as to fans, despite having no concrete plans on what to do next as soon as it was over with Sugarfree. His decision came out via Twitter last January, but he had already informed his bandmates six months before. Was it through SMS? One asked, pertaining to how Ely Buendia infamously said goodbye to the Eraserheads. Ebe says, “No, I remember we had dinner in Katipunan. And it was while we were having drinks that I told them. They took it very well.”

Perhaps, unlike how things have ended in other high-profile Pinoy bands  not without drama and controversy  Sugarfree disbanded on a high note with a final concert tour last March. He recalls: “I was having a blast at the farewell tour and I remember talking with a good friend, saying ang dami palang nagmamahal sa banda. This was the way I wanna go. Then he told me, you should be careful, your reaction will change once the things around you would change  and they did.”

Continues Ebe, who’s also looking forward to having kids in this new chapter of his life: “I gave up everything for it  the chance to have a day job, to start a family immediately, spend time with my wife, family and nephews  because I was so convinced that was what I just needed to do. So when it disappeared I got disoriented and felt really bad for a while.”

For a full month, post-Sugarfree, he withdrew from the outside world, refusing to answer calls and text messages, and got holed up in his room, only getting up from his bed to eat. He considered seeking some psychological help to process what he was going through. He felt he was reliving what happened to his father (“a public official for what seemed like forever”) upon retirement  became edgy, silent and was always fixing things that didn’t need to be fixed.

“All I did was space out, but when I came back to my senses, there was a little re-assessment, what went right or wrong and how do you avoid these things again.”

Ebe did try to fix some things as well. He started writing for other artists, one of which is General Luna, the all-female rock group that would bridge him and Warner Music. He then started writing for himself. But the songwriting muse proved to be more elusive. “I told my wife, ‘I don’t think I will ever be ready again.’ But my faith was very vital at that moment. I prayed, ‘Lord, if this wasn’t the path for me, tell me where to go and I will follow.’”

“A few days after that, I woke up and started writing Muli and then managed to write half a song, then another half a song, then tuloy-tuloy na. It has never happened to me before and it felt fantastic!”

He adds, “I called up Warner and sila yung nagkakandarapa sa paghanap ng recording studio, musicians, oras… lahat! I can’t tell you enough how thankful I am to the label, it was difficult to put up with me every day, and they were able to do so.”

The recording, which lasted from mid-April to June this year, resulted to a groundbreaking double CD record titled Dalawang Mukha ng Pag-ibig. The first CD is the full-band version of its 10 tracks while the second CD features all songs in stripped-down versions. One of best parts of it, he says, was the opportunity to work with his “dream team” of rock musicians  Buddy Zabala, Raimund Marasigan and Francis Reyes.

Some of the tracks are vintage Ebe  oozing with sensitive lyrical quality, dynamic vocals plus driving guitars  and if it brings to mind Sugarfree, he no longer minds. “I have to admit that it bothered me for a while but trying to not sound like yourself is the same thing as getting away from your shadow.”

He, nevertheless, says that “the experience made me a better person. Nag-re-record ako ng albums dati, naka-apat kami, and there were times when I was itching to get out of the studio and off the stage. I also became obsessed with writing for a wide audience. Sometimes recording an album was a means to an end  just so we could have more gigs. That became the equation.”

Because the world is full of examples of solo acts failing miserably, never achieving individually what they had achieved with a group, is Ebe up to the challenge despite some dim prospects?

“I’ll always worry. I’m a worrier by nature. But I have a very solid team working for and beside me. I think I’m up for the challenge, and if it does not work out, then at least I tried,” says Ebe, who plans on releasing his album overseas so as to reach OFWs.

Besides, the call of the performing stage is harder to ignore by the day. It’s time for Ebe to be back. 

“The day we broke up was the last time I played with a band. I tried once but my ears hurt. But I am thrilled to be back. I want more. It’s another chance, another shot and I want people to be proud,” he concludes.