The subject: Divorce

Then: Aug. 3, 1987 — 23 years ago.

It seems that more women are interested in divorce than men. Ricardo Puno said that when “they” made the provisions to the family code about legal separation, they were at a loss as to how divorce could be accepted by the majority. But there are already progressive provisions in the new Family Code — like infidelity and bigamy now apply to both men and women on equal terms. With Justice Puno on the panel were Fr. Ruben Tanseco, Rev. Cirilo Digos, Msgr. Felipe Okol and lawyer Rogelio Nogales, a former city fiscal and an advocate of divorce.

Julie Yap Daza came up with the classic statement: “What do theologians know about marriage?” Of course, she said it with a smile and Msgr. Okol of the marriage tribunal smiled back. From Domini Suarez came the question of who should decide on the marital problems of people who are not Catholics. The Catholics have the marriage tribunal and the Moslems have multiple marriages and also divorce. Truly in step with the times.

Rev. Rigos of the Ellinwood Church answered to the effect that they had their own counseling service.

From Atty. Nogales we learned that a Guam divorce was the easiest to get and in fact, his office was handling this. It cost $710 and if both parties signed, it would only take one day to get it. But of course, a Guam divorce as anywhere else is not valid in the Philippines. Just the same, the office of Atty. Nogales was getting about 10 inquiries a day.

“There is a need for divorce law in the Philippines,” the lawyers said. “This is a need of the times. People change. I don’t think it will wreck Philippines society. A divorce law will not affect a strong marriage.” This was in answer to Fr. Tanseco’s claim that divorce will affect the solidarity of the Filipino family.

Msgr. Okol said that the marriage tribunal asked for a donation of P8,000 and this was usually given after the decision was handed down. Those who couldn’t afford it could give less if their parish priest recommended it. “But even the rich cannot afford that sometimes. There was a case where the check bounced,” he said.

Gabby Aurello of Channel 9 asked about the generic consideration as a ground for divorce: Someone with a taint of madness in the bloodline, or first cousins marrying and producing abnormal children? It would be under consideration, a panelist told him.

Fr. Tanseco was steadfast in the Catholic stand against divorce. “Most problems can be solved within the marriage. It is not just legalism. Divorce is the easy way out. The palusot syndrome. Pag maka-lusot, lulusot. We are a family-centered society. This is our strength as a nation,” he said.

Because of the topic, even non-media people were in attendance. Then the subject of “mental inadequacy” was brought up as a valid basic ground for legal separation; a woman most of us know exclaimed: “That’s for me. My husband is mad!”

NOW: July 11, 2011 — 23 years after.

The Divorce Bill or House Bill 1789 is once again part of the great debate on how to free women from the shackles of a hapless marriage. Bayan Muna Rep. Neri Colmenares and Lisa Masa are the proponents of the pro-divorce bill, which hopefully will get more votes this time. It has been 23 long years. If Italy has divorce despite the fact The Vatican is there, it is really time that we address the need of the times. Details culled from a recent feature on Rowena Festin stressed that Gabriela, a national alliance of women in the Philippines, believes that the divorce bill is a “dignified way out of women suffering in an already failed relationship.”

During the 15th Congress, Gabriela Reps. Luzviminda Ilagan and Emmil Ilagan re-filed the Divorce Bill as an additional option for ending an unhealthy marriage and as a means to reintroduce divorce into our legal system. So far, we have Legal Separation, Declaration of Nullity of Marriage and Annulment. But these do not give women the freedom to get out of a marriage and to start a new life if she can’t remarry.

There are lucky ones, though: Sharon Cuneta got out of her marriage to Gabby Concepcion and married Sen. Francis Pangilinan; Sen. Loren Legarda had her marriage to her first husband annulled and married former Gov. Tony Leviste; Dina Bonnevie’s marriage to, first, Vic Sotto, and then Dick Penson were annulled; Vilma Santos married Edu Manzano and, with their marriage annulled, she married Sen. Ralph Recto, while Edu married Maricel Soriano (also annulled); and Zsa Zsa Padilla finally had her marriage to Dr. Modesto Tatlonghari annulled and she just might marry Dolphy, her long-time partner, soon..

In the present system, getting your freedom is a tedious and expensive process. The divorce bill, which can make it easier even for those who may not be able to afford it, sets five grounds:1) When the petitioner has been separated for five years; 2) When the petitioner has been legally separated from spouse for two years; 3) When any of the grounds have caused irreparable damage to the marriage; 4) When one of the spouses are psychologically incapacitated; and 5) When the spouses suffer from irreconcilable differences.

The bill has been filed during the 13th and 14th Congress and died at conception. Let’s hope that this time around, it will have a better fate.