The James that I know

“Ano pangalan mo? (What is your name?)”

Those were the very first words spoken to me by Edward James Lim — said in a teeny-tiny voice because he was only six that time. This was in March — yes, around this season — in 1989.

The location was at their then Villa Ortigas townhouse, along Granada Street — right across those makeshift stores that sell rattan pieces and capiz Christmas lanterns that come ablaze with lights toward the holiday season.

Some three years prior to that, his grandmother, the esteemed Rosa Rosal had sold her old house in Makiling Street (near Horseshoe Drive), which she had bought with her earnings as an LVN actress. Tita Rose had decided to downsize by moving to a smaller place. Her mother Gloria and kind stepfather, Ruperto del Barrio, had both passed away and her siblings already had their own lives (they repaid all the support she gave them by becoming successful in their chosen fields). By then, only daughter Toni Rose Gayda (already separated from husband Moonie Lim) and grandsons John and James were staying with her.

While there was no grandness to that townhouse, their unit was spic-and-span — everything in place. They were very happy there. John and James had playmates their age because the houses were next to each other. Nearby was a beauty salon that was owned and operated by Marlene Aguilar when her life was still simple and quiet. The only tragedy they experienced there was when their pet cockatoo, Totoy, a beautiful bird with the most immaculately white feathers, was accidentally killed during a routine checkup by the people sent over by their former veterinarian.

It was one of the happiest phases in the life of Rosa Rosal. Despite her full schedule with the Philippine National Red Cross, she still had the strength to accept movie and television projects and kept reaping accolades for her performances. Toni Rose’s career was in full bloom as one of the hosts of Lunch Date. Even if her marriage didn’t work out, she felt blessed having two lovable sons: The older one, John, was shy and skinny. But he was a handsome kid whose Caucasian features from his mother’s side (French, Egyptian, Polish and American) were softened by the Oriental blood on his father’s branch of the family.

James’ character was the opposite. He was chubby — very cute — and extrovert. And he was inquisitive and loved interacting with people.

That day we first met (I was at their house to interview Rosa Rosal), he had come down from their upstairs sleeping quarters in comfortable white undershirt (sando) and house shorts. He was wondering who this stranger was and asked me my name. “Ano pangalan mo?” It will always be the most innocent-sounding voice I’d ever heard in my whole life. Slowly, they became family to me. Tita Rose treated me like her own son and Toni Rose always considered me as the brother she never had. As for John and James Lim, the connection will always be there: My middle name is Lim.

In 1993, their paternal grandfather built Pinnacle, a condominium building with the best layout in the whole of Metro Manila. The late businessman Eddie Lim had the deepest affection for daughter-in-law Toni Rose and offered her and the kids a unit there. Mr. Lim also had great respect for Rosa Rosal and, in fact, it was she who chose to stay in the fourth floor because condominium living was relatively new that time and people in this country had always feared earthquakes. If ever — in case the great quake comes and makes an unwelcome visit (heaven forbid!) — it would be easy for them to run downstairs. Staying in the lower floors wasn’t most ideal because on those levels mosquitoes and flies would still be pestering them and who wants those?

It is in this home where they live, love and fight — like any other family. This is Rosa Rosal’s world away from humanitarian work — although I cannot say away in the strictest sense since she still gets up (to this day!) in the middle of the night for Red Cross emergencies. Since she had always been a homebody, she is happy just staying there, but sometimes visits the upstairs unit of restaurateur couple Arnold and Ruth Co, who are very dear to her.

As for the rest of the family members, they get to enjoy their lives individually, but there are occasions when Toni goes out on dates with her sons. The last time I saw all three together was at Malou Fagar’s birthday party last November and that was my last bonding with the boys. (They also date their lola who had given them all the support in the world. In fact, Tita Rose is supposed to accompany James this week to his dental appointment with their family dentist and close friend, Dr. Jun Jacob Jr.)

Between the two, I have to say that I had spent more time with John and therefore know each other better maybe because — along with Tita Rose — we share the same traits: Rigid, responsible and stick to conventions as much as possible.

James was actually more carefree — like Toni Rose — and had a great sense of humor (I’ve always felt there was this great talent in him that was waiting to erupt from within). Whenever I would see him, I was always been tempted to pinch him on both cheeks, except that I was aware that would embarrass him. He may have grown into a giant of a man, but for me, he would always be my Baby James.

As I type this, there is this Eric Clapton tune that keeps humming in my head and this was the story behind this work: Clapton had a son, then a toddler, and one day, the staff of their apartment building removed the protective railing of their balcony for maintenance purposes and the child just ran straight to his death. The pain of the boy’s loss drove Clapton to write the song Tears in Heaven and the most heart-wrenching part of the lyrics goes like this: Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven? 

 To my dear Baby James, you may not have recalled that first question you ever asked me — “Ano pangalan mo?” — because you were only six then.

But I want you to remember that I will always love you and those you left behind and I can only hope you’d still know my name if I saw you in heaven.