Ali travels the world with Omar

MANILA, Philippines – Anyone who knows Ali Sotto as one articulate radio and television host, leader in any conversation, who will not give up an argument, would naturally be interested in her marriage with Omar Bsaies, Tunisian American diplomat for the US embassy now assigned to Madrid. To make matters more complicated, they both have two children from previous marriages — she with Maru Sotto with Chino and Miko (who has passed away). Plus she is a Catholic and he is a Muslim.

The opportunity to meet up with them in a home setting, in a foreign country happily came about while we were on a visit to Madrid recently. As we were chatting away about people and happenings back home and Ali’s need for the dog Maja as companion, Omar comes in from work.

Since we had just been back from a trip to Andalusia, that storied home of the Moors centuries past in the south of Spain, we probably got the ball rolling with the comment not to have liked the Alhambra in Granada all that much due to its varying styles of architecture. That started off Omar that that precisely was the value of the Alhambra in that it reflected the changing history and culture of Spain through the decades it has been building, rebuilding, and adding to the structure.

Obviously revved up, he goes into the history of his clan, which he believes originated from the outskirts of Cordoba. During the years of the Spanish Inquisition (officially from 1478-1834) between the years in 1600 to 1616, Muslims like them were persecuted and asked to either convert to Christianity or leave the country. “The last wave of Moriscos or Moors had left Spain at that time. Three hundred thousand people had gone out of the country, Among those 300,000 was my clan. We were scattered all over, partly in Morocco, partly in Palestine, and partly in Tunisia (where the family lives to this day).”

The Ottomans who ruled Tunisia at that time had given a part of the Tunisian region to people coming from Andalusia. These included leather artisans, weavers, potters, ceramic artists and the Omar’s clan who were specialists in irrigation and worked on the propagation of the citrus plantations. Omar continues they believe his clan was displaced from Cordoba to Sevilla. A lot of people left without even bringing with them the keys to their homes since they expected the situation to be temporary with the support of the Ottomans, but this never came.

We had heard of this historical upheaval from our guides in Granada, Sevilla, and Cordoba. But now, here was a real live breathing descendant of that event retelling the story. Surely nothing could ever beat that!!

We comment that the Moorish influence we found most interesting in Andalusia was that churches were built around mosques or on them. Omar adds that it is only in Spain that one will find steeples of churches that resemble the minarets of North Africa. And that the Moorish influence can be found not only in the South but all the way North including Barcelona, Zaragoza, Valencia and Toledo.

Omar further shares with us that Spain’s virtual national hero, the famed El Cid started off as a mercenary for both Muslim and Christian. Until eventually, he liberated Valencia for the Christians which was the beginning of the decline of the Moors’ power in that important port in Spain.

We then branch into the personal stuff and Omar and Ali relate their very first date at the Hyatt Hotel on Roxas Blvd. that is now closed. He ordered dinner and wine with the usual romantic candlelight. “Halfway through the meal, I saw her coming closer and closer squinting and turning red. Had I known she was allergic to wine I wouldn’t have ordered a whole bottle.”

Apparently, the normally loquacious Ali was at the time tongue-tied. Perhaps she was already beginning to get overwhelmed by the distinguished individual before her, who spoke five languages and was learned in every sense of the word. This afternoon, however, we were having wine with our bread, cheese, cold cuts, and cherries and Ali looked fine with the wine. Omar gives out the antidote: One has to simply take a few sips of wine, and follow it up with water. After doing it consistently, the allergy will dissipate.

Omar and Ali live in the northern upscale part of Madrid which has been their home for the past 10 years. It was beautifully decorated, including the garden facing the terrace where we were having our merienda. “That’s all Omar’s work,” quips Ali, saying that her only contribution were the Chinese fortune waving cats at the entrance.

 “I have no talent for art,” admits Ali who proceeds to tell us the story of her butterfly painting. Once, some years back, she had been cajoled to join a painting workshop and came up with a painting of a butterfly which she proudly toted along to the studio where she worked and to the parlor. All who saw the painting were effusive with praises which bolstered Ali’s confidence that perhaps she could continue with lessons. Coming home, she proudly showed off her work to Omar, who without batting an eyelash remarked, “It’s horrible.” Today, they laugh about it but it was just a sample of a character trait much removed from the Pinoy’s habit of not telling the truth if it would hurt.

Religious differences seem to be a favorite topic between the couple. You know here in Madrid the churches are almost empty on Sundays, there is divorce, even same sex marriage, Ali tells us. We Filipinos are more Catholic than the Spanish who brought us this religion, she stresses. And why do you think Filipinos are so religious, Omar challenges? Because we are poor, we all agree.

The conversation was heating up. At a forum in Manila, Ali recalls how some people were saying that sex even between married people is a sin, if it is for pleasure. This is because marriage is supposed to be only for the procreation of children. They recall another most interesting gathering they had in the home in Manila where the guests were priests, Muslims, a priest converted to Islam, a colonel sent to Mindanao who came back a Muslim. But naturally, religion was the major topic.

The couple exude a healthy regard for one another’s convictions and interests. Ali respects Omar’s ban on pork, and he lets her go on with food fantasies of pork adobo, Jamon Iberico, pork barbecue, sinigang na baboy, bacon, etc. They are a loving couple, calling each other Babes and Be. Ali has been working on her diet of late and Omar notes, “She lost weight. She got to a point two months ago when she was almost as thin as when I first met her. I said to her, this is the woman I fell in love with, not the chubby woman you have become. If I wanted a chubby woman, I would have looked for one from the beginning.” He is apprehensive that when they return to the Philippines, she will again be bombarded with food. “I love the food in the Philippines. The bibingka, the biko, and the palitaw..,” Ali enumerates teasingly watching his reaction.

Ali was once said to have remarked that cultural differences make a marriage all the more interesting. It seems that such is the case in the Bsaies’ household. Ali is queen of the kitchen which she gives credit to her kapampangan upbringing. Twelve years into her marriage with Omar, she has added to her natural gift for Pinoy dishes, an entire range of international dishes that she can whip up with expertise.

In another year and a half, the Madrid assignment will be over and Omar who has opted to retire will make their home in the Philippines. Before that though, Ali would like to study music once again in Spain, since she had training as a pianist and could sight-read as a child. If Ali returns to her news and public affairs hosting once back in Manila, what will Omar do, we ask? He can do house interiors and gardens, she laughs. She can support me, he says. No problem about that, we tell ourselves. It is obvious that wherever he is and whatever he does, this Renaissance man Ali Sotto married will surely emerge triumphant.

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