Perils of being a ladies' man

MANILA, Philippines – I have had my share of encounters with men who think that they are God’s Gift To Women (GGW). I have had more than enough share of female friends who have cried on my shoulder because these GGWs made them fall so much in love with them only to be left flat on their faces, after these guys had their way with them and gotten the one thing that they wanted. These incorrigible womanizers do not choose who (young, old, hare-brained, married, lesbians, two sisters, friends belonging to the same barkada) to have casual sex with, where (in the car, in the plane, in a public restroom) they will do it, or even how short (45 seconds) the “relationship” lasts. They have no heart. They do not care about the tears shed and the pain and scars they leave behind. This story is made for GGWs and their helpless victims who in this hilarious movie are aptly called the Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.

Drawing inspiration from the classic A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens — Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is about the tale of one notorious playboy Connor Mead (Matthew McConaughey) who enjoys breaking up with women as much as he does bedding them. He is the ultimate player who can split up with three girls simultaneously during a teleconference call right after making out with a fourth one on his office couch.

The plot revolves around the wedding of his brother Paul (Breckin Meyer), and how Connor attempts to persuade his brother from tying the knot. The older Mead brother turns from a suave ladies’ man to a downright obnoxious bastard when he, even during the final preparations for his brother’s wedding, does a toast to his adamant distaste of commitment, love and marriage (which he loosely associates with girly pillow fights, long talks about emotions, massages with clothes on, and snuggling after sex). For him, “love is merely a magical comfort food for the weak and the uneducated.”

A few glasses of scotch later, Connor meets the ghost of his long dead Uncle Wayne (deliciously played by Michael Douglas who at the age of 64 is as sexy as ever, although one would have thought that a “sexy 64 year old” seems an oxymoron), his former mentor in the art of picking up and bedding women. At this point, the movie pays its tribute to the Charles Dickens classic and reinvents it with a fresh new perspective. Instead of an insatiable hunger for money, the “wretched” habit that Uncle Wayne warns Connor about is his preying on the weaknesses of women and his fear for intimacy, as demonstrated by Connor’s habitual break-ups with them when they start to snuggle after sex. In Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, the ghosts are portrayed as Connor’s girlfriends in the past, present and future. The scariest part of all for Connor is that the ghosts haunt him where it matters the most — in his secretly-quelled feelings for his first love Jenny (played excellently by Jennifer Garner) and what could happen to them in the future.

McConaughey fits the bill perfectly as the charming bloke. With his saliva-inducing six pack and tanned complexion, he is effective as the ladies’ man. Garner, on the other hand, captures the essence of that “first love you will never forget,” with her charming smile and glowing aura in all her scenes, including the tear-jerkers. I say that if there is one thing that I truly liked in this movie, it is the superb acting of Garner who made me feel by sheer body language that in spite of the monster that McConaughey had become, she still loved him very much. At the end of the movie, I put myself in her place and thought it hard to believe that a promiscuous, egocentric lecher can really make a 180-degree turn to reform because of some haunting experiences with ghosts of past girlfriends. Always believing that a man should get his due, I truly wanted for Connor to learn his lesson and for Jenny to end up with the other, nicer guy.

Go watch this movie with your player male friends for them to learn that toying with someone’s feelings is something that will haunt them for the rest of their lives. Or better yet, see it with your girlfriends and debate on whether or not a pig is a pig is a pig (swine flu and all!).

(E-mail me at [email protected] or text 0927-5000833. Help build houses for the poor through the Gawad Kalinga by calling 718-1738 to 41 or text 09175239777).