2 of a Kind

Dolphy is erect at 80, ramrod-straight and dapper in all-white outfit.

Vic Sotto is fabulous at 54, happily casual in manner and style.

That seems to be the only difference between them — their 26-year age gap.

They are similar in several ways, like two peas in a pod.

Asked if he agrees that Vic is the heir to his “throne” (take note: in quotation marks), Dolphy readily says, “Yes, wala nang iba!”

“Throne” could mean a lot of things: As Comedy King, a title Dolphy has been holding unchallenged for more than half a century; and, ehem, as The Great Lady-Killer.

So Dolphy is touted to be a Bombilya King? Vic can’t be far behind. Behind his back, he’s referred to as the Bombilya Prince.

Dolphy has 18 children by six different women while Vic has four by three — and counting?

You wonder: What makes women stick to them as flies would to a flypaper? Do they lure women with big bucks and loads of blinding jewelry? You will be surprised by what “they don’t do” to make women drop their defenses —  and more.

Recently, Dolphy came out with his biography, Hindi Ko Ito Narating Mag-Isa, “as told to Bibeth Orteza,” which hardly reveals everything you and I have always wanted to know about him but were too timid to ask. Well, not really everything — yet!

Will Vic follow suit, soon? What shocking secrets is he going to reveal and myths he has to crack?

The Comedy King and his Heir Apparent are starring together in a movie (better later than never, right?), Dobol Trobol Get Redi to Rambol, which is produced by Dolphy’s own RVQ Productions, Vic’s M-ZET Productions and Tony Tuviera’s APT Entertainment, and directed by Tony Reyes (opening across the country on Wednesday, Aug. 13). Dolphy is paired with Carmi Martin (whom he discovered in the early ’80s as one of his four Dolphy’s Angels, along with Yehlen Catral, Anna Marie Gutierrez and Liz Alindogan) and Vic with Miss Earth-Canada Riza Santos. Dolphy’s ladylove Zsa Zsa Padilla and Vic’s own, Pia Guanio, are doing cameos.

Conversations sits down with Dolphy and Vic who answer many questions perhaps nobody has ever dared ask them.

Okay, all ears now.

Why did it take you so long to do a movie together?

Vic: Sa schedule siguro at saka sa pagpa-plano. Noong magkasama pa kami sa ABS, nagkikita kami sa corridor at puro mga informal na,  “Ano, gawa tayo?”

Are comedians really great lovers?                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

Vic (Pointing to Dolphy):  Ito! Hahahahaha!

Dolphy (Protesting): Anong tinuturo mo? Hahahahaha! I don’t know. Hindi ko talaga alam. Hindi naman ako agresibo sa mga babae.

Vic: Ako, patingin-tingin lang.

Dolphy: Ganoon din ako. Pa-tingin-tingin lang.

Pareho ba ang courtship style n’yo?

Dolphy: Ewan ko si Vic. Ako, it depends sa situation. Siempre, aalamin mo kung anong type nung babae. But I think mas gusto ng babae ‘yung pormal lang, ‘yung hindi ka showy, ‘yun bang para kang natisod. They prefer ‘yung simple ka lang.

Vic: Ako, tahimik lang. Pa-tingin-tignin lang.

Dolphy: It’s true. Ako rin, patingin-tingin lang.

Vic: Hindi kami marunong manligaw, eh.

How come ang daming babaeng nali-link sa inyo?

Vic: Natatapat lang siguro.

Who has more women?

Vic (Pointing to Dolphy): Ito. Hahahahaha!

Dolphy (Protesting): O, nagtuturo ka na naman. Hahahahaha!

What was the first Dolphy movie na napanood mo?

Vic: That was a long time ago. I don’t remember the title. Black and white pa ‘yon, sila ni Panchito, kasama nila si Pugo. ‘Yung colored, I remember na kasama niya si Helen Gamboa. Yes, Facifica Falayfay, napanood ko ‘yon.

Did you get any pointers from Dolphy?

Vic: Marami! One of them ay ‘yung nagpapa-underdog.

What can you say about Vic’s style?

Dolphy: Maganda. Api-apihan in the beginning, pagkatapos lumalaban and in the end panalo. Parang si Nora Aunor. Underdog sa simula, winner sa ending.

Dito sa Dobol Trobol, wala bang nakawan ng eksena?

Vic: A, wala.

Dolphy: Bigayan.

Vic: What’s important is how we make the scene even funnier. Kumbaga sa sapatos, makintab na mas lalo pa namin pinakikintab hanggang sa macharol.

Dolphy: Nagtutulungan kami.

Better kapag may kabatuhan, right?

Dolphy: Of course.

Vic: It’s hard when you’re solo. If you deliver a punchline at walang bumabato pabalik, parang kulang pa rin, eh.

By the way, Dolphy once said na hindi pa n’ya kailangan ng Viagra.

Dolphy: Hahahahaha! Masama sa akin ‘yan. Hindi ba na-bypass na ako?

But didn’t you say that Zsa Zsa is your Viagra?

Dolphy: Oo, siempre!

What about you, Vic? Who is your Viagra?

Vic: Ha?

Dolphy: Hindi ako nakiki-alam d’yan, ha. Hahahahaha!

Vic: Panay pa nga ang kain ko ng papaya, eh.

Of all the women na na-link sa’yo, who are the three sexiest?

Dolphy: Zsa Zsa, Pilar (Pilapil) and all the others.

Vic: Pia, Pia Guanio and Liana Pia Guanio.

Anong qualities ng babae ang gustung-gusto n’yo?

Dolphy: Patient, simple, maayos sa pamamahay at malinis sa katawan.

Vic: Understanding, mabait, matulungin at maganda kahit hindi mayaman.

Hmmmm. Does size matter?

Dolphy: I don’t think so. Hahahahaha!

Vic: The size of the heart? Yes, of course! Oo naman!

How important is sex in a relationship?

Dolphy: Very important! Exciting if you are young. But even if you have children and grandchildren, dapat tuloy ang ligaya! Hahahahaha!

Vic: Very important. A man and a woman get married for procreation not for recreation. Kaya mahalaga ang sex.

What about marriage (kasal)?

B ‘Yon ang hindi ko alam. Up to now, “single” pa rin ang nakasulat sa passport ko.

Vic: Ay, very important. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, my next child dapat kapag kasal na ako.

You are both bachelors. (Vic’s one and only marriage to Dina Bonnevie, mother of his children Danica and Oyo, was annulled.) Puede kayo mag-double wedding. Nice, ‘no?

Dolphy: Wow, maraming kasama sa entourage! Aapaw ang simbahan!

Vic: Talagang dobol trobol ang mangyayari.

Do you still look at other women?

Dolphy: Hindi na! Umiiwas ako.

Vic: Ako, pumipikit. Hahahahaha!

How are you as a father?

Dolphy: Well, I think I’m fair. Sa dami ba naman ng anak ko, 18! I have to divide my time carefully. But I’m always busy, kaya I try na lang to make up for it.

Vic: I have only four children, pero nahihirapan na ako mag-divide ng time ko. But I try my best to be a good father to them. I could do better. But siempre, medyo always busy sa work so always lack of time. Mabuti naman naiintindihan ng mga anak ko lalo na ‘yung aking bunso, eh, 16 years old na.

And how are you as a grandfather?

Dolphy: Great grandfather. May apo na ako sa tuhod.

Do you spoil them?

Dolphy: Hindi naman, kasi medyo malayo sa akin ‘yung mga apo ko. They don’t stay with me. Once in a while, they visit me.

Vic: My one and only grandchild is only several weeks old. Anak nina Danica at Marc (Pingris). Wala pa gaanong pakinabang, eh, medyo padilat-dilat pa lang. Siguro pagka ‘yung medyo naglilikot na d’un na magkaka-alaman kung anong klaseng lolo ako.

What did you discover about each other during the shooting?

Dolphy: As an actor, Vic is really good. As a person, totoo pala ‘yung sinasabi nila tungkol sa kanya. He’s real, totoong tao siya. Maganda siya makisama, maganda makiharap sa tao. I see myself in him. Ugali ko rin ‘yon.

Vic: He’s really kind; he’s a good person. He’s down-to-earth, pantay-pantay ang tingin sa lahat.

Is Hindi Ko Ito Narating Mag-Isa really a tell-all book?

Dolphy: No. If it’s a tell-all book, kailangan four volumes. No, I did not tell all.

If you were to write your autobiography, Vic, what would the title be?

Vic: Hindi Ko Na Mararating Ang Narating N’ya. Hahahahaha!

Why not Hindi Lang Sila Iisa?

Vic: No way. Baka mag-away-away sila. Hahahahaha!

How do you want to be remembered?

Dolphy: I want people to remember me with a smile on their faces.

Vic: As The Entertainer.

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