Thank God for grandmothers

The New York Times described it as “a charming fable,” and indeed The Way Home (Jibeuro) is laden with lessons. It’s the story of a septuagenarian and her spoiled seven-year-old grandson (Sang-woo).

The latter was handed over to his grandmother’s care so that his single mother can seek employment in the city. Sang-woo’s dislike of the situation is understandable. Born and raised in the city, he hates the tedious circumstances. Having met his grandma for the first time, it’s difficult for him to understand (much less appreciate) his illiterate and deaf-mute guardian.

 A serene old lady who has lived her life in the rural outskirts of the country and a sharp-tongued city kid is an interesting dichotomy. Sang-woo is used to fast food (Spam and KFC) and modern technology (video games). His grandmother relies on an antiquated stove, chamber pot and whatever comfort her little shack has to offer.

I expected some sort of a clash. But I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the clashes (if you can call them that) were free from hysterics.

The fact that only the character of Sang-woo is played by a professional actor makes the film (ironically) more believable, with no artifice and overplayed scenes. Eul-boon Kim, the grandmother, is a natural. The kind smile on her wrinkled face and her gnarled hands doing chores speak of a love for her grandchild that her deaf-mute character cannot.

The plot is simple, with no convoluted twists and turns. It is as beautiful and simple as the picturesque South Korean countryside, the locale of the film.  Its message is resoundingly clear: Humility, patience and love win over apathy and intolerance.

Also important are the subtle issues the film reveals:  The strain of modern living on family and morality, especially in developing countries like ours.

No doubt about it, the movie is a tearjerker. Who would not shed a tear when a stooped elderly woman treks a hill to provide food and comfort to a disrespectful grandson? Who would not be moved by a scene showing the grandmother spending her meager earnings from selling vegetables to buy her unappreciative grandson a pair of shoes?

 The film’s writer-director Jeong-Hyang Lee being a woman herself, understands the depth and infinite sacrifice of maternal love. That’s why The Way Home comes across as an utterly credible and poignant story.

The film is a wake-up call for us who neglect or take for granted the persons who care for us the most. For those out there who still have their grandparents, consider yourself lucky.  You can show them your love and savor their love in return.

Those like me who have lost my grandparents only have precious memories of their love and support and, of course, their sometimes quirky ways of showing their affection.

 Lois Wyse, in her book on how grandparents show their affection for us, wrote: “When a child cries for a cookie, the mother is the one who puts her foot down and says sternly, ‘No. You have already had enough sweets today. You are allowed a nutritional snack instead. Here’s a peach.’” 

The grandmother is the one who puts an arm around the child and murmurs, “Don’t cry. Here are two cookies because I love you so much.”

A box of Kleenex, anyone?