Lolit Solis: All for the love of Evelyn

Whenever I invest on friendship I always see to it that I know my friend inside and out and get acquainted with his/her parents, spouse (if married), children and siblings. This comes in handy when you have to be a shoulder to cry on or simply a sounding board every time your friend has problems with the family. At least you already know the cast of characters involved and that saves time because you are already familiar with the names and background of each one.

For instance, I know all of Ali Sotto’s siblings and I can name them chronologically: Allan, Alvin (in between is Ali) and AJ.

In the case of Lolit Solis, I know her two US-based daughters — Sloopy and Sneezy — and although I never met their Dad (also in the US) I know his complete name, but Lolit will scalp me if I published it here (her ex-husband comes from a decent and very conservative family and wouldn’t appreciate the publicity).

Among her siblings, however, I met only one — Evelyn, also a mother of two daughters (like her Ate Lolit): Apple and the Joan Bonner, a very familiar name among followers of showbiz talk shows because Boy Abunda always greets her on The Buzz. A licensed dentist, who eventually worked on foreign shores, I was introduced to Evelyn when Lolit dropped by our house in La Vista one time and she brought this younger sister along. Evelyn was cool — although I sensed she also could be feisty when necessary. But there was this natural warmth about her and we chatted like we were long lost friends.

Evelyn immediately rejoined her husband Eddie Bonner abroad after that meeting, but whenever Lolit would fly to America and tell me about it (she sometimes keeps these trips secret — I don’t know why), I would try to send her pasalubong (broas or apas). Although I never really had communication with Evelyn, there is a pocket in my heart that cares for her because I know Lolit loves her dearly and the people important to her also matter to me.

About six years ago — when we did a Startalk story on Rio Diaz’s cancer — one of our viewers, Susan Dorado, tried to get in touch with me. Ms. Dorado knew a healing nun and wanted to help Rio. But Rio was based in the US that time and was already getting help from all channels (and that helped because her life was prolonged somehow).

I lost touch with Susan Dorado after that — until I found out from Lolit that Evelyn had been stricken with cancer of the pancreas (that eventually spread to the liver). Immediately, I looked Ms. Dorado up again and had her talk to Lolit on my cell phone. Unfortunately, Evelyn was already undergoing chemotherapy in the States that time and the way I understood it, the healing nun couldn’t do anything anymore at that point.

Lolit made regular short visits to the US that time to check on Evelyn and Sloopy and Sneezy would meet up with them when they could get off from their busy lives. Evelyn’s medical condition was rather erratic. With every trip from the US (clutching a bottle of Nyquil as her pasalubong for me), Lolit would give a full report on her sister’s state of health. Sometimes, Evelyn would be okay, sometimes... we would just shift to another topic of conversation because we didn’t want to display too much emotion in full view of everyone in the studio.

I don’t want to sound pious, but I do pray and have a grocery list of petitions addressed to heaven and along with Rio Diaz, I included the name of Evelyn Bonner — for her, for them, to get well.

Before Holy Week, Evelyn’s condition got so bad that she was put on a life support system. Sometime Good Friday or Black Saturday (the dates are confusing because we are a day ahead here), her respirator was supposed to have been removed and Lolit’s siblings here all went into mourning.

However, there was comedy even in the throes of death. It turned out that the respirator had yet to be removed and Evelyn was still hanging on to her remaining breath. But back in Manila, another sister, Baby, had already put Evelyn’s picture on the altar and had started the traditional Filipino mourning of pa-siyam — when all along Evelyn was still alive and breathing! Poor Lolit. Her siblings refused to talk to her after that for unintentionally spreading the wrong information.

On April 12, however, Evelyn breathed her last, except that Lolit and everyone in Manila who initially thought that their sister was gone, but were happy and relieved to discover that the beloved sibling was still alive, after all were not informed immediately that the respirator had finally been unplugged. When friends based in the US sent their condolences, Lolit had to bark at each one of them "for killing her sister." But Evelyn was really gone this time.

Last April 23, Ricky Reyes hosted a joint birthday celebration for him and tocayo Ricky Lo and when I got to the dinner, the first news I got was that the body of Lolit’s sister had already been flown to Manila. Why, I didn’t even know that Evelyn had died. I was with Lolit the Saturday before and she said nothing about it.

I called up our executive producer Reylie Manalo to check if Lolit had attended the Startalk meeting that afternoon and she answered in the affirmative, " Although Nanay never mentioned anything about anyone dying in the family."

I was sure two people close to Lolit would have all the pertinent information: Gorgy Rula and Jojo Gabinete. But neither would take my calls.

Eventually, I recalled the circumstances when Lolit’s father died in 2000. I just read a small announcement in Funfare — with Lolit making sure there was no showbiz fanfare. As Lolit later explained, when her mother died in 1985, her father got so upset by the showbiz crowd that pushed to the sidelines their former Sampaloc neighbors who wanted to condole with them. She didn’t want this to happen again. With Evelyn’s death, Lolit just made it a strictly family affair.

Wanting to condole with them, I tried to find out where they had brought Evelyn’s remains, except that all Annabelle Rama and Wilma Galvante could tell me (I’m sure they, too, had wanted to go to the wake) was that the body was lying state in a funeral chapel somewhere in Forest Hills in Novaliches.

I know the place because my mother and her co-workers from Congress before had bought properties there and I went there as a kid. I was sure I’d be able to trace it by going from funeral parlor to funeral parlor starting from the corner of Mindanao Ave. and Quirino Highway all the way to the town proper. But how was I going to do that without me looking like I was in search of a body of a salvage victim?

When I tried to call and text Gorgy again to inquire and got no response, Ricky Lo told me that, maybe, that was how Lolit wanted it — and for us to just respect that. Ricky had known Lolit much, much longer and I thought it was best that I listened to him.

After calling it a night, we all went to our respective vehicles and as soon as I hopped into mine, I whispered a prayer for Evelyn. But before I turned on the car engine, I started to have doubts if God ever heard my prayers. I prayed for Rio Diaz, but He took her away. And now Evelyn.

However, I now realize that we live on borrowed time and that I should be grateful for the five, six year-extension God gave these two courageous women. After all, that was time well spent — with family and to serve as strength for other people afflicted with cancer.

On Lolit’s behalf — if she hasn’t thanked You enough — thank You for Evelyn’s extended time in this world. You are the wise One and You know that Lolit cannot take care of her little sister all their lives. Surely there is no safer place for Evelyn and for all of us than in the bosom of Your Kingdom.