The complete memo to the stars

Curtain-raisers:

• Funfare’s recent story on celebrities rumored to be running in next year’s elections (if and when there would be any) drew additional names to the list from readers, including: Anton Lagdameo (Dawn Zulueta’s husband) for congressman of Davao; Patrick dela Rosa for governor or vice governor of Oriental Mindoro (or mayor or vice mayor of Calapan, the capital town); Val Sotto for reelection as councilor of the second district of Parañaque City; Rez Cortez for governor of Camarines Sur (against incumbent Luis Raymond Villafuerte Jr.); Christopher de Leon not for mayor of Lobo, Batangas, but for congressman of Batangas (second district); and, of course, incumbent Sen. Kiko Pangilinan for reelection.

• Would you like to have a career in singing? Do you have a good voice? Do you have what it takes to be a performer? Backroom, Inc. is looking for male and female singers, 18 to 25 years old, who would be part of a band. Applicants may or may not have singing experience but are willing to work long hours. Those interested may submit their profile/resumé (with pictures) and a CD or demo tape to Backroom, Inc. Room 207 CRM Bldg., 116 Kamias St. cor. Kasing-Kasing, Quezon City. For more information, call 435-1098 or e-mail at [email protected].

* * *

A few issues ago, Funfare casually mentioned a "memo" to stars – you know, for them to "behave" if they don’t want publicity not to their liking.

Here now is the complete "memo" to the stars, which should serve as unsolicited friendly reminder especially to stars who sometimes forget the fact that, whether they like it or not, they are role models and thus have a responsibility to the public.

• Memo No. 1: BEHAVE

Especially if you’re in public, be careful with what you say or do, or even what you wear (decent attire expected at all times, which may not necessarily be fashionable). For example, don’t be lovey-dovey with another actor or another actress especially if your boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse is away. Or, don’t go bar-hopping and make chika-chika with your "ex" to avoid being misinterpreted as wanting to "reconnect" (not even for old time’s sake).

• Memo No. 2: BE DISCREET

If you can’t be careful or can’t behave, be discreet. For example, if you want to have a rendezvous in, say, Hong Kong or any other city outside of Manila or you have to check into a five-star hotel (or the like), don’t go together. Take separate flights (one from Cebu and the other from Manila) and don’t fall in line side by side at the immigration counter. Pretend that you don’t know each other or you’re traveling with other groups. Avoid strolling holding hands in such public places as, say, the Hong Kong Disneyland or the Ocean Park. Take separate flights coming home. When meeting at a local hotel, one should go ahead and let the other follow. When ordering "room service," don’t let the room boy know that you are with somebody.

• Memo No. 3: DON’T COMMIT ANY FREUDIAN SLIP

When having a secret affair, especially if you’re married to somebody else, avoid exchanging meaningful glances and/or dropping tell-tale remarks on national television. Remember, the TV cameras can be brutally frank and sometimes cruel. Confronted by a nosey TV host, refrain from even saying, "We’re just friends!" because that oft-quoted line has been taken to mean that something more than friendship is indeed in progress. Simply smile and pretend (play act).

• Memo No. 4: BE GRATEFUL

I mean, don’t go berserk and run after press guys who write about your indiscretions. Remember, the poor press guys are just reporting the "crimes," and are not the ones committing "them." If you can scold or badmouth a press guy writing something you don’t like, exert a little effort to thank him for whatever "good" items he writes about you. It will melt his cruel heart.

• Memo No. 5: DON’T TALK IN YOUR SLEEP

Remember, the one sleeping beside you may be your wife or your husband.

• Memo No. 6: BE PRAYERFUL

If you can’t behave or be discreet or not commit any Freudian slip or be grateful or can’t stop talking in your sleep, pray that you become invisible when you commit an indiscretion. Prayer helps. Try it.

• Memo No. 7: DISAPPEAR!

Plain and simple: If you can’t stand the heat, don’t go near the fire.

Showbiz is an aquarium and anybody getting inside it should be ready to be analyzed, criticized, roasted – but praised if deserving.

Listen to what a battle-scarred, veteran singer (name withheld upon request) has to say: The minute we enter show business, we become public property. We lose some of our privacy. That’s the tradeoff for fame. We have to live with the hazards of our trade – temptation and all – and learn to deal with them. We are responsible for our actions as we become role models for the young.

Who’s putting down Kiko?

I just got the following self-explanatory text message from Sharon Cuneta, wife of Sen. Kiko Pangilinan who, as I mentioned earlier, is running for reelection next year:

Dear Friends,

Nag-umpisa na po ang black propaganda para sa darating na kampanya at eleksyon. Nagti-text brigade na ang mga kampo ng iba dahil No. 2 sa latest survey si Kiko. We have been expecting this, and more that will surely come!

There is a nasty message that one group’s text brigade is forwarding; sinisiraan ang Juvenile Justice Bill ni Kiko. I would beg for you to write/talk about it, but don’t want to impose. If you can’t write about it, kindly pass on to your family and friends. Malaking tulong na po ‘yon. Ang style nila, half-truth, half-imbento. Parang alam na namin kung kanino galing ito.

Thank you very much for any help and support you may be able to extend. God bless you!

This is Kiko’s group’s response:

There is a text brigade against the new Juvenile Justice Law. It is not true at all that kids who commit offenses are scotfree under the law authored by Sen. Kiko. Yes, they are exempted from criminal justice system but not from the new Juvenile Justice System where they can be found liable and accountable. If the offense is serious such as rape or homicide, the kids by court order can be confined in a facility for minors and undergo rehab as part of the system of Juvenile Justice. Minors do not go scotfree and are accountable for their acts under the Juvenile Justice System. The kids we save today through a restorative justice system, will mean less hardened criminals in the future.

* * *

E-mail reactions at [email protected]