Bessie: We thought Bambi was just fast asleep

The 40th day after a person’s death is very significant among Christians because it symbolizes Christ’s ascension to heaven 40 days after He died on the cross for mankind.

Tomorrow, July 7, is the 40th day after Vicente "Bambi" del Castillo passed away at age 55 (he would have turned 56 last June 20) at their Connecticut home on May 28, Memorial Day in the US. His widow, top model and former TV actress Bessie Badilla, requests friends and even The Philippine STAR readers to please pray for the repose of her beloved Bambi’s soul.

At the time of Bambi’s death, my communication with Bessie was limited to texting and through her siblings Sonny, Bobby and Bing (Magsanoc). That was quite understandable because Bessie had to attend to a million and one chores at that time, aside from the fact that she "wasn’t herself" around that period.

Some three weeks ago, however, Bessie and I were finally able to talk lengthily via long distance and she was able to narrate the series of events before and after Bambi’s death.

The week before he died, Bambi, the president of an American trading firm, was set to fly to Nice, France, but had to cancel the business trip (the first time he did so in his career) due to intestinal flu. His colon was also infected so he was given antibiotics by his doctors.

He went back to work (on a Tuesday) after resting for a few days and even hosted a barbecue party for visiting friends (from New York) at their home Saturday afternoon. Bambi had quite an appetite, but later complained of stomachache.

The following day, Sunday, he was in tip-top condition again and went to play golf. Bessie was in constant touch with him because she kept checking if he was having lunch with them at home. Bambi eventually ended up having lunch with his golf buddies at the country club.

Early in the afternoon, the girls told Bessie they needed jeans and she decided to bring them to the mall. Before they got into the car, Bambi arrived and they exchanged hugs and kisses at the garage.

Bambi told them he was taking a nap and to please not wake him up. That wasn’t such a strange request because Bambi loved to sleep long hours. But at around 5 p.m., daughter Isabel called him up at home anyway to check if he wanted to join them for Mass. When he didn’t pick up the phone, Bessie told Isabel to just let Papa sleep. He must have been really tired and sleepy because he wasn’t even awakened by that phone call – they all thought. They went to church by themselves.

Bessie and the girls got home at around 6:05 p.m. and saw Bambi asleep in his recliner (his favorite resting place) in the family room – with the TV set still on. Daughter Blanca closed the door to shut out the noise because the dogs were barking and acting strangely. No, up to that point, they didn’t think anything was wrong.

When it was time for dinner, they checked on him again, but since he was still "asleep" they went ahead with their meal without Bambi at the table. For a very busy person like Bambi, sleep was precious and they just let him rest.

At 11 p.m., however, Bessie thought she should wake Bambi up to check if he wanted to move to the bedroom upstairs and resume his sleep there. In some instances, he would just sleep in his recliner all throughout the night. But Bessie felt he might want to transfer and be more comfortable this time in their bed.

When she touched him, he was cold. Bessie screamed and the girls came rushing downstairs. They called 911, their spiritual adviser Fr. De Luca, and some friends who all came rushing to their house immediately.

"Para akong luka-luka" was how Bessie describes herself immediately after Bambi’s death. Even the day after, she wouldn’t change her clothes and friends had to comb her hair for her.

Thanks to all their friends who kept vigil at their house, Bessie and the children were able to pull themselves through that storm. Soon after, Bambi’s siblings (and Bessie, too), plus some of their friends from Manila all flew to Connecticut to rally behind her and her daughters.

Three days after Bambi died, the autopsy report came out: Aneurysm in the center of the brain. The clot was so massive that even if medical help came within minutes, he would not have survived it. He also had perforated ulcer and that explained the constant stomachache.

During the viewing, about 600 people came and the police had to be summoned since there was already traffic outside the funeral parlor because of the crowd that showed up. His remains were cremated the day after.

As I write this, Bessie and children are returning from a visit to Lourdes, a yearly pilgrimage began by Bambi. A devout Catholic who recited the rosary daily in the last 17 years, Bambi was a Lourdes devotee.

Bambi was actually planning to retire in four months and had planned to volunteer in assisting the sick in his next year’s visit to Lourdes. And yes, he had vowed to continue with his duties as Eucharistic Minister at their local parish.

Although Bessie and the kids miss him terribly, they take consolation in the fact that when he finally went he was already spiritually prepared to join our Lord and Savior.