Chat is home, at last!

Curtain-raisers:

• Besides Auraeus Solito’s Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros which was named Best Film in the Feature Film Category, another winner at the just-concluded Turin Gay and Lesbian Film Festival in Italy is Brillante Mendoza’s Masahista, which got the Audience Award in the Video Program Category. Mendoza received both awards for Maximo and Masahista because Solito didn’t make it to Turin.

• Oops! The concert of the Four Aces is scheduled at the Araneta Coliseum on June 2 and not June 8 as Funfare wrongly mentioned in the other day’s column. The Four Aces will also have a show on June 1 at the Manila Hotel.

• I want to greet my inaanak Carlo Brian Sucaldito a happy fifth birthday (today). Tatay Jobert Sucaldito flew to his native Pandan, Dingle, Iloilo to be with Carlo on his special day. At the same time, Jobert is fixing Sam Milby’s Sam in a Million concert scheduled June 10, 7:30 p.m., at the De Paul College Football Field. Tickets (P500, P300 and P150) to the concert are available at SM Iloilo and at De Paul College.

Chat Silayan is home, at last, safe and secure in the bosom of The Lord, free from pain and all the other aches and worries that the living are heir to.

She will be laid to rest today at the Manila Memorial Park in Parañaque City. She succumbed to colon cancer last Sunday (April 23) night at the St. Luke’s Medical Center, Quezon City, where she was confined for three months. She was 46. She is survived by husband Mike Bailon and three children, Victor (17) from Chat’s relationship with an Italian director; and Timothy (12) and Michaela (11), by Mike.

Until the end, even if she had lost so much weight, Chat retained the good looks (among other assets) that helped her win the Bb. Pilipinas-Universe crown in 1980, the same year she finished third runner-up in the Miss Universe Pageant (won by USA’s Shawn Weatherly) in Seoul.

"The coronation night was held on July 8, Chat’s 20th birthday, and the host, Bob Barker, led the audience in singing Happy Birthday to Chat," recalled Funfare’s "beauty expert" Felix Manuel. "The audience broke into a heart-warming applause when Chat thanked them in Korean. Chat became an instant crowd favorite."

Was that Miss Universe victory the turning point in Chat’s life? No, it was not, as Chat herself narrated in a "true confession" kind of article written by Nikki Domingo on April 16, 2003, for Philippine Online, a clipping of which was passed on to Funfare by Jojo Gabinete.

In that story, Chat revealed the pain she carried from childhood brought about by the break-up of what she called her parents’ "clandestine partnership." Chat said that she got hurt when her late father, the great movie-theater actor Vic Silayan (whom Chat described as "a brilliant and talented man"), would talk in interviews about his children (from his other family) without even mentioning her name and those of her own siblings.

From then on, Chat said she felt "confused and lost" just like her brothers, with the pain refusing to go away even when she received honors in school (she graduated with a B.S. Nutrition degree from the Philippine Women’s University), fell in love "with the wrong men," became Bb. Pilipinas and Miss Universe runner-up and a fine actress, achievements her father was openly proud of.

Her search for answers came in 1987 when her father died.

Here’s how Chat related that turning point in her life:

It was a pivotal moment for me. I realized how fragile human life is. He was a famous man – respected, admired, adulated. But what awards do you carry to your coffin? And how do I live my life so that I can die with peace in my heart, with no regrets and shame?

It’s ironic, really. Through struggling with the meaning of my Dad’s death, I rediscovered the meaning of my life. And I found the root of all meaning was the Lord. For years my father had been trying to lead me to Him, sending me letters like, "Read the Bible. Life here on Earth is just a preparation for the after life." His words really fell into place after I attended his funeral, prompting me to join a Catholic Life in the Spirit Seminar.

Looking back, maybe my faith was one of my Dad’s final gifts to me. For decades I had been hurting from the hole he had left in my life, and before he died, he helped heal it. By accepting God, I found what I had been craving for so long: unconditional love, unconditional acceptance, and the ability to trust in something greater than myself.

But finding God was just a step. How could I bring His message of love into my own marriage, into my own relationships? His presence eased my loneliness, but not my fear. I still had a far way to go.

Even after she and Mike got married in December 1991 and they became members of the Alabang New Life Center (which they chose, according to Mike, because it didn’t have as many showbiz members as the other Christian groups), Chat recalled having difficulty adjusting to married life, having been "fiercely independent," and she would threaten to separate from Mike everytime they fought.

Then, Chat paid tribute to Mike by saying, "God has given me a patient, loving husband. He refused to see separation as a solution, and he didn’t give up on me even when I was pushing him away. His efforts won my trust – he really did love me, he really did want to spend the rest of his life with me..."

The secrets to staying happily together?

Chat enumerated them as,

1) Deal with your emotions,

2) Take command responsibility,

3) Be Patient,

4) Accept each other (nobody is perfect),

5) Pray, and

6) Remember what brought you together.

Friends and family members who were around Chat when she slipped into an eternal sleep must have noticed a faint smile on Chat’s lips.

Yes, Chat was at peace. She’s home, at last!

(E-mail reactions at [email protected])