40 Carats

Life does begin at 40 – and so does mid-life crisis.

And Zsa Zsa Padilla, who is actually 41 (last May 28), is no exception.

When you look at Zsa Zsa so beautiful, so much bigger than life, you conclude that her life is a rose garden, devoid of the trials and tribulations that ordinary mortals are heir to. Look again, look harder, and you’ll see that Zsa Zsa is no different from the angst-ridden matron next to you.

"I’m only human," Zsa Zsa mouths the hackneyed line.

Last year, her relationship with Dolphy was put to a test when rumors spread that they were separating – or, to be more accurate, that Zsa Zsa wanted out of the 20-plus-year union (Zsa Zsa’s marriage to dentist Modesto Tatlonghari lasted for only seven years). They have yet to get married, even now that they are legally free to do so, Zsa Zsa’s marriage to Tatlonghari having been annulled; Dolphy has never been married, despite his being a father to 17 – minus one because Freddie died last week – with six different women, none of whom, Zsa Zsa included, he married.

"I’m flesh and blood," Zsa Zsa added, "like the characters I play in the movies, women who also get hurt."

In her latest movie, Regal Films’ Ako Legal Wife (virtual Part 4 of the successful Mano Po series, this time a comedy directed by Joel Lamangan for next month’s Metro Manila Filmfest), Zsa Zsa plays the "legal wife" that she is not yet in real life.

The title was inspired by a dialogue she delivered in Mano Po 2 when Zsa Zsa confronted Lorna Tolentino (her real-life cousin) who played the mistress.

In Ako Legal Wife, Zsa Zsa plays Chona Chong, a Tsinoy woman who seems to have everything – except exclusive "ownership" of her husband (played by Jay Manalo).

Asked when she will say "Ako legal wife" off camera, Zsa Zsa smiled. "Only time can tell."

In the following Conversation, Zsa Zsa candidly talks about her private life like she has never done before.

How are you similar to either or both of the characters?

"In the movie, she is patient, matiisin, in the sense that she learns about her husband’s having another woman when she (the wife) is already pregnant. She tries to maintain her composure, but she feels competitive. She wants to give birth ahead of the mistress, determined to have a son. Di ba among the Chinese it’s important to have a son para may heir? I’m not similar to my character in the sense that I haven’t found myself in the same situation she’s in."

Besides patient/matiisin, what’s your character like?

"She’s also a martyr. In one confrontation scene during a movie premiere, the wife and the mistress slap each other in front of many people, only for them to realize when Jay walks in with Rufa Mae (Quinto) that the man between them has a third other woman. My character is a martyr which I think I’m not because there’s no reason for me to be one."

Have you ever been insecure in real life?

"I don’t let myself be. I try to be secure. I mean, I make sure that I have a job, I make sure that I respect myself, I make sure that I’m not dependent on my man. So I’m not insecure in that sense."

Aren’t you the "clinging vine" type?

"You mean dependent on my man? No, I’m not. Sometimes, it’s nice to be emotionally dependent so as to make your man feel that he is needed and wanted and loved."

You have this fixation for older men.

"My first husband is 18 years older than me and Dolphy, 36 years."

Does it have anything to do with a subconscious longing for a father figure?

"I think so, because when I was growing up my father (Carlos ‘Sonny’ Padilla Jr.) started going to the US. He was always not around. He wanted to be a referee and he got his break in 1975 when he was hired as referee in the Ali-Frazier Thrilla in Manila bout. When he decided to migrate to the US, he petitioned for all of us his six children. But instead of leaving, I eloped (with Tatlonghari). I was 16 then."

Haven’t you ever had a boyfriend as old as or older than you were?

"I was at the Roosevelt High School (in San Juan, Metro Manila) when I had my first boyfriend. No, he wasn’t my ex-husband. We were in a choir. It’s funny but the guy looked exactly like Rollie Quizon (one of Dolphy’s children). He had long hair. But when he cut his hair for the ROTC, nawalan ako ng gana. I realized that I was in love with his hair! And then I met my ex-husband..."

During these past several months, you and Dolphy have been rocked by unsavory rumors (breaking-up, etc.). Is everything okay now?

"Last year pa ‘yon! The rumor started spreading in May last year. It was a combination of many things. We have since ironed things out. We are over the worst, I think. Dolphy and I were telling ourselves, ‘What could be worse than what we went through during our early years together?’ If we survived those crises, yung mga sumunod pa ay mga minor na lang."

Were you ever on the brink of separating?

"No, never! Remember how some people made a joke about what I said that Dolphy and I were living in the same house, and sleeping in the same room and the same bed?"

You were losing weight at that time and people suspected that it was because of some domestic problems.

"I must admit that I was problematic at that time. You know when a woman turns 40...I just turned 40 at that time and I think I went through a mid-life crisis – you know, what else could I do in my career...what if my husband finds another woman? Insecurities like those. I think it happens to women reaching 40. No wonder they say that life begins at 40."

You’re so beautiful, you still have a flourishing career, you have put your private life in order...

"I work. You know, why should I look like a matrona when I can look beautiful? I must say that (Dr.) Vicki (Belo) was a big help; she did a lot in restoring my self-esteem."

How did Dolphy support you during that "critical" period in your life?

"He was a part of it. I always remind him that ‘yung buhay niya ay kakambal ng buhay ko. I go through whatever he goes through in his life – and vice-versa."

You’ve been through a lot. When Dolphy underwent a kidney surgery and later a heart bypass, you acted as his "nurse." And when you were operated on your scoliosis and, recently, when you had your kidney treated, he was there for you, also acting as your "nurse."

"There was a problem with my urether, that’s why I’ve been having UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) since I was a kid. My kidneys were inflammed. A decade ago, it was discovered that my fallopian tube was big. Like Dolphy, I also have asthma. Luckily, he doesn’t have scoliosis. Actually, I am very sickly."

Don’t you have any problem being stepmother to Dolphy’s 16 children? (Zsa Zsa and Dolphy have two of their own, Nicole and Zia.)

"None. Maybe because they don’t live with us. Anytime any of them needs me, I’m always there."

No more problems with Dolphy?

"Wala na! Financially, he has his own and I have my own. That has always been our set-up as far as finances are concerned."

Is Karylle (her daughter by Tatlonghari) okay with Dolphy already?

"No, they don’t have a relationship. Sad! But I’m glad that Karylle and me, together with my two daughters (Nicole and Zia), have started bonding. Two years ago, we were in Amanpulo (Palawan) and last year we were in Hong Kong. Next year, the four of us are traveling together again."

So you are deep into the healing process.

"Actually, more siya. Not so much ako. Kasi, up to now she’s not allowed (by her father) to enter my house. It’s his rule and we respect that. I hope she heals in her own time."

Karylle is doing well on her own. Doesn’t it make you feel insecure? Isn’t there any professional jealousy between the two of you?

"I’m very proud of her. When we had a show at the Music Museum, I saw to it that her name was billed ahead of mine and that her photo was placed on the left side, prominently. I’d give her all the advice that I could but then siempre, nandyan pa rin ang father niya at siya ang masusunod. I have to respect that."

In the movie, you delivered the line "Ako legal wife..." so beautifully that it stuck in the public consciousness. When will you say it in real life? When are you and Dolphy getting married?

"Definitely not this year."

If ever, where will the wedding be?

"I still don’t know. Everything is hanging. Nakabitin pa talaga. Dolphy and I have some kind of a ‘deal.’ Before we get married, I want him to settle everything – his finances and his properties, I mean – so that people won’t say that I’m marrying him only for his money. I have to remind everybody that I was already who I was, who I am, when I met him. I also don’t want his children to feel bad. So, there are so many things to be settled before we ever plan to get married."

So that "piece of paper" still means so much to you.

"Oh yes, of course. But more than that, as you say, ‘piece of paper,’ what’s important to us is peace of mind."

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