New fears I have to conquer

When I was a child, these were the stuff that used to scare me:

Christopher Lee in Dracula Has Risen from the Grave.

Looking out the window at night because there could be a ghost outside.

Passing through the side street of Sanctuario de Sto. Cristo in San Juan because there is supposed to be a cemetery there. (I don’t know if it’s still there though.)

Going to school every single day. Yeah, that was how much I enjoyed school life. Scared stiff every day in the classroom – no thanks to Hitler-like teachers.

That a volcano would sprout in our backyard. You may think I was stupid as a kid (well, I was, I admit that – still am). But that fear wasn’t totally baseless. When I was young I read a story about how a Mexican farmer in 1943 was hoeing in his cornfield when the ground around him began to shake and then came rumbling noises – until the earth started to crack. Within hours a hole had formed and rocks and ash kept spouting out of it. In a week’s time, it had developed into a hill about 500 feet. After several months, it rose to a thousand feet. It kept getting higher and higher until it reached 2,500 ft. Today, it is known as the Paricutin Volcano.

I was afraid the same thing could happen to us – that we’d also have a Paricutin in our backyard (even if it wasn’t large enough to contain even a small volcano). And then, we’d be homeless or worse, we’d all get buried in hot lava alive.

When I grew up, I eventually snapped out of this fear. But the strange thing now is that I got a house in Baguio a few years ago and found out too late (after I’ve made the complete payment) that there is a volcano at the back of my house because it lies practically at the slope of the dormant Mt. Sto. Tomas. And I have for a neighbor in Baguio Sen. Lito Lapid, whose fortunes so attract volcanoes that Mt. Pinatubo washed away a P5-M property of his (a large sum in the early ’90s) in Porac, Pampanga. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that lightning doesn’t strike twice for him because I’m going to get hit, too, if that ever happens – heaven forbid.

Although the fear of having a volcano coming out of my backyard has returned (I hope some expert out there would assure me that Mt. Sto. Tomas up north is a safe next-door neighbor), I think most of our fears change through the years. Two years ago, in fact, I remember enumerating in this same column my fears in life for this paper’s All Saints’ Day edition. When I went over the list recently, a lot of these fears have vanished. But it is interesting to note that I listed there how I was so afraid for the 2004 presidential race and how it now haunts us like a ghost of elections past.

Anyway, now that it’s All Saints’ Day again, allow me to share with you the new fears in life that I now have to conquer:

• Earthquakes. I used to be so cool about it, except that recent earthquakes that have occurred within the Asian region are starting to worry me – especially now that I find myself spending more and more time in a halfway house on the 36th floor of a condominium building.

• The bird flu epidemic. It really must be so terrible living in this country that even the bird flu strain refuses to invade our territories – thanks heavens!

• Bombings in the city. You can never tell when you’ll be the next victim of these crazed people.

• My knees. No, they’re not beginning to shake yet, but these have been found to be "overused" and I am about to begin therapy soon.

• My health. I am not getting any younger and I should start worrying about it. But I guess that’s not a good way to start – by worrying.

• When my mother’s blood pressure starts to shoot up.

• My own blood pressure, which I feel starts to shoot up as a result of my mother’s blood pressure shooting up because I’m the one who has to worry about that. But really, my blood pressure is still okay – mercifully.

• When I finally have to do Extra Challenge (I’m the only one in Startalk who hasn’t done it yet – oh please, spare me) because I’m too much of a brat to be following those orders. And I have bad knees, remember?

• The weekends – only because this is the time of the week when gas prices increase… weekly.

• When there is a mega-sale in Megamall and a midnight madness sale at Robinsons Ortigas because these two events cause so much traffic in the area.

• Traffic in Greenhills at the start of Christmas shopping.

• The start of Christmas shopping not only because of the traffic it will create, but especially since everything is so expensive these days. I can feel my blood pressure starting to shoot up now. Why can’t we just hear Mass on Christmas day and have a little food around to celebrate the coming of our Savior?

• The political scenario in this country.

• The future of this country – but that’s a carryover from my scary list two years ago.

• The E-VAT law. Is it finally being imposed today? Oh, I’m so scared.