Working with Miss Congenital

My (reluctant) foray into television has considerably enriched my vocabulary. My friends’ eyebrows soar when they invite me out and I beg off, saying, "Sorry but I have a taping tonight." Or when I have to make a French leave from a salu-salo because, I can now say without tripping on the word, "I have an OBB shoot." So a Balikbayan friend is hosting a lunch reunion tomorrow? You see, I really want to be there but then, "I have to do voice-over for my show." See that huge vehicle outside the Greenhills residence of Regal Matriarch Mother Lily? That’s an OB-Van.

Taping. OBB (Opening Billboard). Voice-over. OB-Van (Outside Broadcast). These and many other words have become part of my daily lingo outside of my regular job in The STAR, starting in 1999 when ABS-CBN Executive Vice President Charo Santos-Concio gave me the illusion that, ehem, I could be a TV host and promptly threw me into the frightening company of such intimidating veterans as Kris Aquino and Boy Abunda on The Buzz. As the whole world knows, Kris and Boy are oh-so-good, they have such an amazing gift of gab that I got tongue-tied between them. Soon, I became a lone member of The Buzz’s "silent minority."

I quit The Buzz and was ready to slip back into the relative anonymity of my newspaper job (my main line, my main bread and butter) when Wilma Galvante (Ma’am Charo’s counterpart in GMA) offered me a hosting job on the new weekly show Showbiz Stripped (which presents the other – human and positive – side of the stars), premiering tonight, 11 o’clock to 12 midnight, on GMA. I warned Ma’am Wilma that I’m not a good TV host but she said she saw "something" in me waiting to be "exploited" – whatever that "something" is. After giving it much thought, I said, "Why not?" (Thank you, Ma’am Wilma for giving me the rare chance to find out if it’s not just an "illusion" after all!)

You see, TV journalism is just as exciting as print journalism even if it requires you to exert extra effort in looking good (make-up, decent attire and all), sounding good (careful with that Waray accent, careful!) and, well, behaving in front of the camera which can be so cruel that it magnifies even the most subtle nuance (like an accidental smirk or a lump in the throat).

When Ma’am Wilma told me that my co-host would be Melanie Marquez (1979 Miss International, among other titles), I got excited. She’s long-legged, I’m not. She is talkative (on or off camera), I’m not (not always, that is). She’s a ravishing celebrity, I’m trying hard to be one (in vain!).

These past three weeks, I’ve been closely working with Double M, now also known as Local Showbiz’s Miss Malaprop (a character in The Rivals, a play by Richard B. Sheridan) because of her colorful vocabulary that has added a new kind of excitement to a medium that was starting to be, ho-hum, boring. I just love her for her English! Has she developed an inferiority complex because of it? Guess again. In fact, Double M has turned that "talent" into a career. Don’t look now but she’s now preparing a little book called Melanisms (Don’t Judge Me, I’m Not a Book), which is a compilation of her memorable quotes (remember Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book? Something like that). Look, she said, her English may be bad but how many beautiful ladies with perfect English can say that they have an international beauty title? See, my sense, di ba?

I remember when she went to Megamall to catch the last full show and told the girl at the box office that she wanted a ticket to Miss Congenital. No, she didn’t buckle. Told that no movie of such title was showing in any of the 12 cinemas, but there’s one called Miss Congeniality 2 (starring Sandra Bullock), Double M smiled and said, "Miss Congenital or Miss Congeniality...pareho na rin ‘yon! Akin na ang ticket at baka mahuli ako!"

Working with Miss Congenital is fun. She has no airs. She is punctual (showing up for the pictorial, etc., way ahead of time). She is friendly and very respectful (punctuating her sentences with "po" and "opo" and/or addressing everybody Kuya/Ate or Tito/Tita). She is full of enthusiasm and energy. And she’s, yes, "entertaining" (her English, you know).

For its premier episode, Showbiz Stripped (directed by Rommel Gacho, with Floy Quintos as creative director) is featuring Susan Roces and Mother Lily back-to-back. It’s the first time for Susan to talk at lengthily about life without FPJ and many other things, and for Mother Lily to be interviewed on national television. I won’t preempt the show by divulging what else the two formidable ladies are revealing about themselves. All I can say is that a must-see show, worth staying up late for (promise!).

So if you’re ready, Miss Congenital ("Judge me, I’m a show!") and I are inviting you and your family to sit before your TV sets tonight, armed with your midnight snacks, and, together, let’s "strip" showbiz!

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