Why Kris backed out of Bench’s Understatement show

Curtain-raisers:

• Could it be true that the ABS-CBN noontime show MTB Ang Saya-Saya will undergo another major reformatting first week of September? Will Edu Manzano be in or out? Will Arnell Ignacio be in or out? Definitely, heads will roll. But, uh, whose heads? Stay tuned and don’t blink or you might miss the, well, changing of the guards.

• Correction, please: Diego Castro’s three children are only by two, not three as Funfare mentioned a few issues back, women who were both his legal wives, according to Diego’s mom, June Keithley. The first child is with ex-wife Raven Villanueva (finalist in the recently-concluded GMA show 30 Days) and the next two with second wife, aspiring bold star Czarina Polman, from whom Diego is separated.

• Did you know that Masculado member Bok Brillantes (real surname: Inciong), a certified dentist, is the "secret" (well, not anymore) boyfriend of Angelica Jones who is well-liked (according to the Funfare DPA) by Bok’s mom. But does Angelica’s mom like Bok? Incidentally, did you know why Masculado’s Hero (Mahal’s big crush) has been missing for several weeks now? He’s in London, back with his legal wife.

• Somebody who looked like Viva Hot Babe Sheree was spotted sitting on the lap of somebody who looked like Bayani Agbayani inside a dressing room in ABS-CBN. Maybe all seats were, ehem, taken so that somebody who looked like Bayani Agbayani was acting like a gentleman and offered his lap for that somebody who looked like Viva Hot Babe Sheree to sit on. Now, did they also exchange harmless brotherly-sisterly kiss?

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First, the sad news: Kris Aquino must have developed "stage fright" and backed out of the Bench’s much-talked-about Understatement show scheduled day after tomorrow (Aug. 18, starting at 7 p.m.) at the Araneta Coliseum.

"My body is not for display and/or parading at such a venue as the Araneta Coliseum," Kris reacted after Funfare came out with the banner story about her "threat" to join the Bench "parade of honor" together with such bodies-to-die-for as Rica Peralejo, Juliana Palermo, Francine Prieto and Alessandra de Rossi in eye-popping underwear.

Being a Bench image model herself (along with former Morning Girls co-host Korina Sanchez), Kris could have joined the fun in a "conservative" and "demure" way, clad not in underwear ("I don’t have the body for it") but in jeans and shirts, the Bench items that she endorses. Maybe Kris prefers this time to be a spectator rather than be at the center of a spectacle.

Now, the good news: Tickets and invitations to the show are sold out, so Ben Chan is seriously thinking of extending the show for one more night.

No doubt the presence of basketball stars on the show is helping draw the crowd in. As you know, basketball players have always been "a different breed."

They are tall, most of them good-looking, and are definitely in perfect shape. Slim but lean. Muscles are taut and those veins on arms and legs are. To quote an award-winning actress, "turn me on."

The hardcourt is also a good source of material for modelling and, occasionally, acting (Joey Marquez and Benjie Paras are among the recruits).

Dickies put up an underwear show two months ago with the likes of Asi Taulava, Don Allado and Al Magpayo, to name a few. Now, Bench – the company that made Filipinos more aware of underwear – is once more enlisting basketball players as models on the Big Dome show. Well, if those guys can be graceful on the hardcourt, why can’t they be on the fashion ramp?

This time, though, they are not from the PBA but from the younger and fresher batch of UAAP and NCAA dribblers. Arjun Cordero and Yousif Al Jamal are two star players of San Beda. Jeremy Dumangas is a top ace of JRU while Ray Guevarra is Gentext’s national slam-dunk champion. James Zablan was with FEU’s Tamaraw Team while Jon Hall lookalike Iago Raterta played for Sunkist.

From the world of Stags of San Sebastian’s Team B come Sylvester Sagad and JC Tioseco. Letranites towering Mike Dumlao (6’1") and Albert Rosopa (6’2") should make the bench styles they are modelling look more appealing.

Anyway, hold on to your ticket/invitation to the Bench show. It’s the most precious and most-sought-after item these days.

Perla And Romy: A Welcome Blast From The Past

Slated to premiere on ABS-CBN this afternoon (after Kapamilya Cinema), Monday through Friday, at around 3:30 is a new comedy called Maid in Heaven which is about the (mis)adventures of household help.

Sounds familiar (with due apologies to Baby A. Gil who writes a music of that title in this paper)?

No, Maid in Heaven is not patterned after the pre-Martial Law show Sta. Zita and Mary Rose (Jacinto).

"It’s inspired by the (late ’60s) comedy Pitong Atsay," clarified Wenn Deramas who co-directs Heaven with Erick Salud and Andoy Ranay.

That movie starred the likes of Dely Atayatayan, Menggay, Aruray and Patsy.

"Heaven is also somewhat inspired by Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," added Wenn.

Maid in Heaven is the story of seven maids employed at the Heaven Subdivision. In the title roles are Mickey Ferriols, the Jaja-Boomboom twins, Candy Pangilinan, Aleck Bovick, Manilyn Reynes, Cherry Pie Picache and new comedienne Pokwang. They become the protector of a little girl, Gwendolyn (played by Katrina Michelle Legaspi, the young Kris Aquino in the soap Hiram).

One reason for local-star-lovers Baby Boomers to watch Heaven is the presence of ’70s loveteam (on and off screen) Perla Adea and Romy Mallari who play Mr. and Mrs. Bomalabs, Pokwang’s kind employers. Married for 31 years, Perla and Romy (remember the ’70s late-Sunday-afternoon TV show D’Sensations?) have six children: Ferdy, 30, a mechanical engineer; Maria Imelda, 27, a Banking and Finance graduate; Maria Claire, 26, a Masscom graduate working in Congress; Maria Sienna, 21, an accountant also working in Congress; Lorenzo, 16, fourth-year high school; and Christy Ann, 10, grade 5.

Perla was last seen in the 1972 movie Dalagang Nayon and Romy in the early ’90s in the GMA TV series Valiente. Every now and then, they show up as guests on Manolo Favis’ DZXL radio program Operetang Putol-Putol. Among their contemporaries is Esperanza Fabon (loveteam-mate of the late Eddie Peregrina) who is now a judge (a widow whose policeman husband was killed in a shootout several years ago).

While Romy (who served as barangay captain from 1989 to 1992 in Novaliches, Quezon City, where they live) shows distinct signs of being fiftysomething, Perla looks the same. Petite, that is, and as sweet as honey.

Would you believe that in all their 31 years together, the couple never had any serious fight? Tampuhan (petty quarrels), yes.

"We don’t sleep without settling our differences, no matter how small they may be," said Perla.

"A perfect wife," said Romy of Perla. "Patient."

True love is what keeps them going strong.

"At saka give-and-take," said Perla. "But the most important thing is that we put God at the center of our life."

There they are, a welcome blast from the past.

Watch Maid in Heaven and, for all you know, Perla and Romy just might break into a rendition of their theme song entitled — ano na nga ’yon?

Will A Pinay Win As Canadian Idol?

Close on the heels of the recently-concluded American Idol where two Filipinas figured prominently in the homerun, Camille Velasco (first to be eliminated) and Jasmine Trias (who made it to the Top 3), another Pinay just might bag the grand prize in the popular talent search’s Canadian version, the Canadian Idol.

Here’s a report from Funfare’s Toronto-based "international correspondent" Ferdinand Lapuz:

Vancouver’s Elena Juatco delivered a knockout performance in last night’s (Aug. 11) Canadian Idol. She got the nod of the four judges and critics. The results won’t be known until two more nights. Special guest on that episode is Lionel Richie. The contestants will be asked to perform any Lionel Richie song.

Ferdinand e-mailed to me a copy of an article from a Canadian newspaper. The writer was obviously impressed with Elena’s performance. "The true stars of the night were Newfoundlander Jason Greeley and Vancouver’s Elena Juatco," he wrote.

Excerpt:

What is there left to say about Juatco? She brought down the house with The Commodore’s hit song Fancy Dancer. The powerhouse vocalist let loose, nailed her song and won singing praises from all four Canadian Idol judges – Jake Gold, Farley Flex, Sass Jordan and Zack Werner. Juatco had a star power moment, and whether she makes it to the next round or not, no one can take that away from her.

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