Paolo Valenciano comes into his own

Mothers naturally fret about their children’s well-being, but as the mom of the immensely popular Gary Valenciano’s three children including 19-year-old Paolo, Angeli Pangilinan-Valenciano has always had one particular reason to be concerned.

"I’ve seen a lot of children of celebrities," Angeli shares over merienda with Paolo, "and (I’d ask myself) what if my children grew up like that? The expectations are much higher for the children of celebrities – they can make or break a child. The children end up having an identity crisis which makes them rebel against the person they love."

Then with visible pride and relief, Angeli says, "Thank God, Paolo resolved (his identity crisis) on his own!"

Seated beside his mom, Paolo’s smile and easy countenance echoes the sentiment. Yes, he admits, he’s had his share of rough times, including coming to terms with being the son of Gary V. But that, he reveals, is all behind him now.

"I used to get affected by comparisons with my dad," says Paolo, who once wrote his mom a long letter about this issue. "But as I grew older, I knew na my place. I was headed for another direction."

It’s characteristic of Paolo, a Mass Media student at De La Salle, to want to trek his own path. By his own admission, he has always liked doing things differently.

"I’m still figuring out what I really want," Paolo qualifies. But when it comes to music, he says, "I am more on rock alternative. My dad knows this."

Paolo relates with amusement how he composed a song, Admirer, in rock alternative style. When his father arranged it, it came out a ballad.

Angeli elaborates on Paolo and Gary’s different personalities this way: "Gary likes South Border while Paolo likes Parokya ni Edgar. Paolo is edgy."

Paolo’s also different from his dad in the way he dresses up, which is noticeably casual and carefree. Plus, Paolo is the type who deliberately changes his looks "every two months" by, say, going bald or sporting a goatee. He even shocked his mom once by wearing tsinelas in school.

A turning point for Paolo came two years ago when he played the lead role of Peter in the musical, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. He considers doing so his greatest achievement. "It made me realize that I liked singing and acting," Paolo says.

Her son’s appearance in the musical also touched Angeli in a special way. "I couldn’t stop crying while watching," she recalls. "I had prayed that Paolo would have his own identity. Gifts are important but character is the most important. (I thought about) the whipping Paolo had to take (growing up) as Gary V.’s son. Despite having come from a ‘flawed’ family, he showed that it is possible to emerge victorious."

That victory, of course, owes much to the way Gary and Angeli raised Paolo. What he appreciates about his mom, Paolo says, is that she "understood my rebellious side." Once, mother and son talked until 4:30 a.m., with Paolo pouring his heart out and asking Angeli what she would have done if she were in his shoes.

" ‘Okay lang, I did that also’!" Angeli said during the time she found herself crying while talking to Paolo.

When it comes to girls, however, Paolo says his dad understands him more. "For mom kasi," he says with a laugh, "it’s always a guy’s fault." Father and son also spend their free time mountain biking in Laguna.

Although he does not divulge exactly what it was that caused him to hit "rock bottom", Paolo assures one and all that it was a most difficult time. "At that time, prayer was not part of my life yet, but I remembered all the things my parents taught me." Bible study and the support of his family and friends, adds Paolo, "helped me to embrace life."

Paolo reckons that going through pain has helped him become a better person. "People go through refining crisis to achieve defining moments," is how he explains his belief. "Pain is one of my greatest inspirations." Especially so when he composes songs.

Although Paolo did not join showbiz full-time after The Lion..., even declining roles in such movies as Kuya and My First Romance so he could focus on his studies, he did guest in TV shows. For the first time this Aug. 6, he will perform onstage with his dad, brother Gabriel, 16, and sister Kiana, 11, in Thankful: An Inspirational Concert, at the Araneta Coliseum.

His studies suit Paolo well because his goal, after all, is to become a film director. An admirer of Stephen Spielberg and Quentin Tarantino, Paolo hopes to attend film school in New York.

Paolo has directed a short ad about La Salle. In it, Gabriel, played a green archer, while his dad did the music. "I got a 4 (the highest grade in La Salle’s grading system) for that!" Paolo proudly states.

Because Paolo would like to study abroad, Angeli believes that living on his own – Paolo has lived alone for a year now in a Valle Verde townhouse – will serve him in good stead. Paolo agrees, saying that living alone has taught him how to budget and how to do household chores. "Laundry is the only thing I don’t know," he says.

As merienda winds down, one incident sticks in one’s mind among the many that Paolo has shared. It’s the one about how his classmates found out he was Gary V.’s son.

"We were in school for a week already and nobody knew who my dad was. Then one of the girls says out loud in class (mimics his classmate), ‘Hey Paolo, isn’t Gary V. your dad’?" Then all heads turned to me."

With his boyish good looks, easy charm, and talent for composing and performing, one can safely bet that it’s just a matter of time before Paolo Valenciano turns heads his way – not because he is Gary V.’s son but because he is Paolo Valenciano.

As a matter of fact, he is already starting to do just that.