Miko in the eyes of stepdad

Although she is still grieving almost three weeks after the tragic death of her son Miko, Ali Sotto is already in the process of moving on with the help of family and friends. Her pillar of strength, aside from older son, Chino, is her husband, US diplomat Omar Bsaies.

During all the time that the death of Miko Sotto was being played up in the papers, news reports always made a mistake about his country of origin. (He was either identified as Pakistani or Iranian.) Now posted at the US embassy in Manila, Omar was actually born in Tunisia, but was educated in the US. He speaks five languages and has two master’s degrees tucked under his belt: One in economics and another one in international relations. But as far as Ali was concerned – even from the beginning – his best qualification to her heart was having been a great second father to her kids. Here’s Omar Bsaies’ tribute to Miko:

Miko came into my life in 1994 when he was barely 12. Since then, I have watched him grow into a young man full of dreams and full of promise. From the first time I met Miko he was irresistible. There was something of a rascal in him – something that always brought a smile to my face no matter what the mood of the moment was. Ever since he was a little boy, he was truly a charmer and to make matters worse, he knew it. It didn’t take much effort on my part to assume my position and responsibility as a stepfather to Miko upon marrying his mother Aloha. I accepted him – without hesitation. He found his way to my heart as though he were my own son. The day Miko died, a huge part of me died with him.

Even though we’re not flesh and blood, as he grew up Miko and I bonded even further since we had quite a bit in common. He was, just as I am, self-obsessed with his image. He spent a lot of time grooming himself – always prepared to look his best when bumping into others. No hallway, elevator mirror or department store mirror could escape his flirtation whenever he passed by one. "Hey, how do I look, Tito?" – he always asked. Even at his early age, he was the debonair par excellence. Not only was he out to charm as many young ladies as he could, but when the opportunity presented itself he was ready with the right thing to say, the right bouquet of flowers, the right color of a rose. Miko was consumed with wanting to please everyone, especially his mother, his father and me. He wanted to be accepted by everyone. He was always ready to help, to be of service to everyone he met. To his close friends, his immediate family and cousins, he will always be remembered as a hero, a protector and someone who would never sell out, regardless of the issue.

I will never forget the day I asked for Aloha’s hand when this 14-year old boy looked at me and said, "Tito, you have my blessings and I love you. But if you break my Mama’s heart, I will break your bones." With Miko, you knew that you were always in good hands. Because of this spirit, Miko was able to touch so many lives in his ever so short life span.

It is said that hindsight is always twenty-twenty, but I always saw how Miko was restless, eager to take life head on. He had no time for patience. He was consuming everything in life as though there was no tomorrow. He wanted everything right here and right now as though he knew something we didn’t know. He was in a hurry to live life. I remember his mother and I counseling him on a number of occasions to take things slow, that he had his life ahead of him for things to happen in their own time and in his usual non-confrontational, polite demeanor he would say, "Yes, Ma, yes, Tito," but down deep we knew he was not convinced. He wanted to do things his way and he would always charm you into accepting his way. He was a rebel who could easily win you to his side with his wit, with a ready smile, a bear hug, a rose or a flower to his mother, a sincere gesture of remorse – and in this area he was the most generous. You could never stay upset with Miko for long. And perhaps that is why I couldn’t be upset with him for having departed from us so quickly and so unexpectedly.

I know that wherever Miko is, in those serene celestial fields, with his wonderful sense of humor, he is doing what he always did best – he is busy charming the angels and everyone he encounters in his new surroundings. He is probably pulling St. Peter’s leg by calling him "bosschief" – an expression he taught me one day when I asked him what to say in Tagalog to get the attention of a waiter in a restaurant. I am sure that God is tickled to have him around. But even though Miko is already creating his own fan club up there, we know down here that his greatest fans will always be his mother, father, his Kuya Chino, his sis Mara and I.

Until we meet again, Miko! Meantime, you will always be in our hearts.

While Miko was lying in state at the Santuario de San Antonio, Omar – in the middle of his grief – was moved to write a poem for Miko and he is sharing it with The Philippine STAR readers:

I am your greatest fan...
Our hearts finally understand...
Come to Me God said...
Come bring Me the shine
I once bestowed upon you...

Come, entertain Me...
Come... I am your greatest fan.
I saw how you giggled
when My angels were sent for you...

I saw how you greeted death
with your usual humor and quick wit...
You didn’t hesitate...
You simply smiled and followed.

Come to My stage
I will make you a star...
You will be one of My shiniest stars...
Come son... I want you back

Come you make Me smile
Come My Miko...
I am your greatest fan... said God
Now our hearts finally understand.

– Omar A. Bsaies
Dec. 31, 2003