Miko: Like losing a son

It pains me that the first column I am writing this year is about death. The death of a young man who is like a nephew to me – even like a son.

Ali Sotto has been a dear, dear friend – a best friend, actually – for many, many years and I knew Miko Sotto since he was a boy. However, I didn’t get to see him often then because they lived in Tahanan Village in far Parañaque, while I stayed in La Vista, which is practically at the other side of the world from there.

Eventually, Ali remarried (to US diplomat Omar Bsaes, a native of Tunisia) and got a house in Loyola Grand Villas, which is the subdivision beside La Vista. But irony of ironies, on the very same day she, Omar and the kids moved there, I left for the States to migrate. When I returned, they were still in Grand Villas, but I had opted to stay mostly in a condominium in North Greenhills.

But even if I didn’t get to see much of Miko and older brother Chino when they were kids, I kept tab of their growing up years: how they were doing in school – and whenever they were giving their mother a headache or, in some instances, the other way around.

During an outing in Laguna when Miko was still in the grades, he broke one of his front teeth while trying out the swimming pool slide. His uncle, Dr. Alvin Carag, Ali’s brother and my favorite dentist, fixed that one.

I realized the boys were growing up fast when Ali invited close friends to her birthday party one time and Alvin summoned Miko over for a hug and a kiss. "Mmm.. Ang asim na ng amoy mo!" Uncle Alvin mockingly complained. Miko was turning 15.

I had the chance to be with Miko a lot starting year 2000. Ali was then leaving for Mexico to join husband Omar in his US embassy post there. They had decided to give up the huge Loyola Grand Villas home and while waiting for her papers to be processed, she decided to occupy a condo unit she had bought five years before that. That unit was in the same building and also on the same floor where I was staying then and Chino and Miko would often knock on my door in the middle of the night to ask for Coke in cans. Like a grumpy old man, I would bark at them: "Ano akala n’yo sa bahay ko – 7-11?" I gave it to them, of course, and secretly, I delighted in handing them those little treats because I liked playing uncle to the two boys since I belong to a really small family with only two nephews and a niece.

When Ali finally left for Mexico, I took it upon myself to be protective of Miko – at least in this territory called show business. Lolit Solis, who is like a mother to Ali, was even a lot fiercer as Miko’s guardian. Anybody who dared touch a strand of the boy’s hair was going to be answerable to her.

From my end, a pretty young thing who had a minor tiff with Miko complained bitterly when I openly took the boy’s side in Startalk. I know I should have been exercised fairer judgment then, but Miko is family and, looking back, the boy was really the aggrieved party. She had the incident duly reported to GMA 7 management.

But Miko was not spared from my scolding. And I often told on him to his Mom everytime she would be here on a break.

Miko, of course, was not faultless. Often, he would be playful, restless and even reckless. He was basically carefree, sometimes careless.

Mother and son had their share of fights. But these fights never lasted long because Miko would always be the first to wave the flag of truce – sometimes along with a stem of rose as a peace offering to his mother.

When Miko died last Monday, friends – without meaning anything – were quick to point out that he was Ali’s "favorite." I wish to correct that impression for even Chino is a favorite. But Chino is strong and independent. (At the time of Miko’s death, Chino, who finished college March last year at the Ateneo, was already starting out on his own in L.A.)

I know that Ali loves very much her firstborn and is very proud of him and is pleased with what he is doing with his life. (Even Dad Maru Sotto, who I have to say had always been a good father and provider to his boys, must feel the same way.) But as any parent very well knows, you pay more attention to the child who needs further nurturing. And it was Miko who played that role in the family – he who always needed to be taken care of, to be guided and to be babied. In return, he gave you warmth, love and affection.

I have never seen anyone – especially for a male – who was as affectionate and cariñoso as Miko. And this is what Ali will miss most of all now that Miko is gone.

It pains me to see her grieve.

It pains me that we just lost a fine young man in Miko Sotto.

It pains me that I will never again see this boy who was almost like my nephew – who was almost like my son.

Goodbye, Miko. I wish we could understand why you had to leave us this sudden, this soon and in that manner.

I only take comfort knowing that the good Lord will someday make us understand and accept what had been done.