Lessons from Sixteen Candles

The 1984 hit movie Sixteen Candles, starring Molly Ringwald, is a huge favorite of mine. This romantic comedy is about an average teenage girl who experiences insecurity, peer pressure and family problems, and ends up with the boy of her dreams.

The story starts with Samantha Baker (Ringwald) waking up on her 16th birthday to the realization that her family has forgotten all about it because of the forthcoming marriage of her older sister. At 16, she is self-conscious about the lack of development in her body and is envious of the most beautiful girl in school, who happens to be the girlfriend of her secret crush, Jake Ryan (Michael Schoeffling). A piece of paper passed on to Samantha in class by her friend, where she wrote Jake’s name in answer to the question "Who would you like to have sex with?", inadvertently landed in Jake’s hands when she was trying to return the paper to her friend. This triggers a series of events culminating in Jake’s breaking up with his girlfriend to pursue Samantha.

I picked up a few lessons from the movie. Firstly, respect your parents even if you think you are not treated well. Imagine if your parents forgot your birthday or any important day or event in your life. I know I would have thrown a tantrum! But not Samantha. Sure, she felt bad and probably deep inside, she resented them (and her sister for getting all the attention), but on the outside she just played it cool. No harsh words came from her. Eventually, her father realized his oversight and had a heart-to-heart talk with her before the day’s end, which made her feel a lot better. I realized that no matter how bad things seem at home, the problems will pass and life will get better. Family is family; they will not forsake each other.

Another lesson I got from the movie is that the best way to fit in is to be yourself. You may not realize that your unique, specific qualities are what make you attractive to people in the first place. Shy, insecure Samantha didn’t know that Jake was beginning to secretly prefer her to his flamboyant girlfriend. Even though she was envious of Jake’s girlfriend, Samantha didn’t attempt to emulate her. Good thing she didn’t!

I found it heartwarming that the movie also tackled the matter of discontentment over one’s body. At 16 (or at any age for that matter), we all wanted a sexy, well-proportioned body. Most of us were no different from Samantha who deplored her under-endowed chest and envied the next girl for her perfect figure. The insights I gained from this scene were: to want a perfect body is normal; I can do something to improve on what I have like exercise, proper diet and wearing the right clothes; I must learn to accept what I can’t change; I must love my body, faults and all; and, inner beauty is as important as physical beauty, if not more so.

Lastly, the movie offers hope to romantics everywhere with this message: the gorgeous girl doesn’t necessarily get the gorgeous guy. Sometimes, the girl-next-door-type wins over everyone else. And most times, you don’t even have to try too hard to get noticed. Just be your best self. If it’s meant to be, circumstances will work in your favor…and everything will just fall into place. Much like what happened to Samantha and Jake.