Showbiz etiquette

One of the more recent (and welcome) additions to this paper is Mayenne Carmona who writes the Saturday etiquette column, Savoir Faire. I’ve never met Ms. Carmona, but I like her intelligent and no-nonsense style of dishing out advice to her readers.

Since I respect her opinion so much, I would like to ask her through my column some questions pertaining to etiquette (or the lack of it) observed in the showbiz profession. You see, the entertainment world has its own culture (even the biological clock of people here is different from those who keep 9-to-5 jobs). There are some practices in this field that I know are not necessarily correct, but are accepted anyway because, well, that is the showbiz culture.

Of course, etiquette is basically courtesy and common sense. But in show business, some people behave and think differently and there are times when you can no longer tell right from wrong. Maybe Ms. Carmona can play arbiter and provide answers to some questions I have in mind regarding some practices observed in show business.

In polite society, I know for a fact (unless the dictates of etiquette have changed in recent years) that when two people of different genders are being introduced, the gentleman should never extend his hand unless the lady extends hers first. But if it is an actor being introduced to a lady who is not from show business, should the actor extend his hand first? If he doesn’t, he may be deemed snobbish or suplado. But if he does, he may be branded uncouth by ladies who know the rules of etiquette.

* * *

There is also the matter of bussing on the cheeks as a form of greeting. Since this is also observed outside show business, maybe it’s about time we straightened out the rules regarding this practice of beso-beso. Should an adult male buss a lady friend (granting that they’ve known each other for quite sometime) when they see each other in a party or in a public place like the mall? If the lady friend busses the male friend on the cheek first, wouldn’t she be sending the wrong signal? (Pardon me, Ms. Carmona, but I’ve always been a malicious person.)

In a movie press conference or in any showbiz party, the young teenage actress always has to go through the trouble of bussing on the cheek every movie journalist gathered in a long table – yes, like a bee going from flower to flower in search of nectar. This is really such an awkward sight. But this seems obligatory because if she fails to kiss and snubs just one member of the press, this could also mean the kiss of death for her career.

* * *

In movie parties and other showbiz gatherings, people come in and out and most everyone takes a French leave. I’ve never thrown a big party, but I’d really feel offended if I were the host and my guests just start leaving one by one without saying goodbye to me. Unfortunately, this has become an accepted practice in showbiz parties and I don’t know how it could still be remedied.

* * *

After going to hotel or department store bathrooms a female celebrity friend has complained about how other ladies in the same room would sometimes talk about her as if the actress does not exist or is not within hearing distance. You know, comments like ... "Hindi naman pala siya maganda!" How is she supposed to react? Is she supposed to answer back even if she is not really part of the conversation? (Never mind if she is the topic of such catty talk.) Or is she just supposed to stay nice, sweet and polite outwardly, but seethe in anger deep inside?

* * *

Unlike in the past, movie stars today have more freedom of movement. They can watch movies, eat in fastfood joints and take a stroll in any of our air-conditioned malls. But at the same time, they are opening themselves up to public scrutiny. In some cases, people in groups look and size up the celebrity. But once the movie star flashes a smile at them, they take back their glance and pretend not to be looking – leaving the celebrity looking like a fool with an unacknowledged smile frozen on his or her lips. In such cases, would the movie star just automatically smile when people look and stare, but risk being branded as, well, "trying hard" – a common derogatory term in show business?

* * *

There are instances when celebrities are stopped in public by fans and are asked for autographs. I know a lot of movie and TV personalities who are very accommodating. But then, some movie fans take another step and ask outright for the cellphone numbers of the celebrity. Of course, there are things you want to keep private and wouldn’t want to share with the rest of the world. But what excuse can you give the movie fans without offending them?

(More questions regarding showbiz ethics for Ms. Carmona on Thursday.)