Why most showbiz marriages don’t last

( Second of two parts )

This Valentine season, I am writing about showbiz marriages – or rather, why these unions crumble easily. In my Tuesday column, I enumerated the following as some of the reasons why many showbiz marriages don’t last: 1) The temptation is too great in showbiz, 2) Erratic working hours and 3) Competition/Insecurity.

Competition/insecurity may actually still be remedied if the showbiz wife would give way to the showbiz husband. Take the case of Fernando Poe, Jr. and Susan Roces. After they got married, Susan Roces slowed down in making films, took the backseat while allowing her husband to remain the King of Philippine movies. But even if she voluntarily stepped down from her throne in favor of marriage, Susan Roces – after more than three decades – is still treated and looked up to as a Queen of Philippine movies.

Of course, Fernando Poe, Jr. and Susan Roces will be the first to admit that their marriage isn’t perfect. But at least, they are still together after 34 years.

Helen Gamboa, then at the peak of her career (she was really big in the movies, on TV and in the world of recording), also took it easy when she married now Sen. Tito Sotto. Since she was slowing down, she could afford to be selective about her movie projects and ended up being cast in quality films that showcased all the more her acting talent. (She won a couple of acting trophies for these films.) Now she is regarded as an accomplished wife, an ideal homemaker and one of the loveliest among the senatorial wives. Again, like the Fernando Poe, Jr.-Susan Roces union, the marriage of Sen. Tito Sotto and Helen Gamboa isn’t perfect. But it is definitely far more stable compared to other showbiz marriages.

Of course, the showbiz wife can only give way to her husband’s career if he can really provide for their family. Surely, this is no problem with Fernando Poe, Jr. who had always been a top box-office draw.

In the case of Senator Tito Sotto, he was a recording executive when he married Helen Gamboa and became even bigger when he joined TV and the movies and, later, politics. All that Helen had to do was look after the home and kids. The fact that she sacrificed her own career must be one of the reasons why she is still married to the same man after over 30 years.

Aside from competition between the showbiz wife and husband, here are other most likely reasons why showbiz unions break up:

• Material problems. Financial woes are not exclusive to showbiz people, that’s for sure. However, it’s more pronounced when it hits showbiz folks. Even if they haven’t been working for the last five years but are still recognizable to the public, taking mass transportation will still be difficult for some of them.

And having been accustomed to a comfortable lifestyle, they’ll have a harder time adjusting to a more austere set-up once economic hardships set in – resulting in clashes between spouses. Ordinary couples would try to bear the financial difficulties together and weather the storm and hunger as one – but in private.

Unfortunately for the showbiz couple, even if they no longer have a career to speak of, they’re still tabloid material. Some of them would therefore find a way out of their miserable existence and onto the more comfortable lap of a wealthy patron. After all, they’re celebrities (very good for the ego of dirty old wolves) and very attractive. They shouldn’t have any difficulty finding this kind of sponsorship. But then, that will also be the beginning of the end of their marriage.

• Emotional instability/Temper tantrums. In this profession, you have to be a little deranged to survive all the pressures. And I’m sure you’re already familiar with what they call "artist’s temper."

It must be difficult to live in the same house with a movie star because some of them don’t have their feet on the ground. And the true artists would even bring home the characters they play on the screen so that they don’t lose it during the entire length of filming. Imagine sharing a home with somebody who changes characters with every new film assignment?

And then, you also have to live with the mood swings of your celebrity spouse. A showbiz husband or wife may come home from work charged with so much adrenalin after a performance, while the other half is already dead to the world. What would the celebrity spouse do with all that adrenalin? He or she may go to a bar or any watering hole still teeming with energy and eventually find relief elsewhere.

And unlike the regular employee who only has to sleep off a bad day in the office, a movie star can go into a long bout of depression after the cancellation of a TV show or movie project or when a film bombs at the box-office. I’m sure he or she would be difficult to live with during this time of emotional stress and this may take its toll on the marriage.

• Disillusionment. Showbiz is a world of make believe and sometimes there are those who fall in love with the screen image of a particular movie icon. Unfortunately, they get disillusioned after marriage when they realize that the action hero is really a wimp still tied to the apron strings of his mother or the legendary screen beauty is really just a product of cosmetics and makeovers. It’s just too bad that some people expect perfection from movie stars when the truth is, our breath all smell the same when we wake up in the morning.

These days, however, I don’t think the problem of disillusionment in terms of the physical aspect still holds true in showbiz marriages. Thanks (?) to premarital sex, some movie stars get to discover the physical imperfections of each other before plunging into marriage.

• Marry me, marry my manager. Ordinary folks only have to deal with in-laws after marriage. But among showbiz couples, you also have to deal with managers who may not be the easiest people to get along with because they are very possessive and protective of their respective wards. The primary concern of any manager is the career of his or her talent and they resent it when their wards get married because this will bring a lot of changes in the life of any actor or actress.

The ideal setup is for a showbiz couple to have just one manager because having two different managers with different concerns is a bit difficult to deal with. But the worst kind of situation is when the manager is in love with his or her talent and is forever jealous of his ward’s spouse.

• Intrigues. An ordinary married man may go on a one-night stand, but still come home to an unsuspecting wife. But this is not possible for a married movie actor. Sure, he can have his fun, but expect him to come home to a wife who will whack him on the head with a rolling pin wrapped in a tabloid that details his indiscretion.

Among married couples, petty differences may be settled in private. After all the kinks had been ironed out, they can go on living happily ever after. But in show business, ordinary marital spats are turned into national issues. And after everything has been said and done – after every movie writer and talk show host has conveyed his or her view and after every piece of soiled linen has been washed in public – tell me, how do you piece this showbiz marriage together?