Chipmunks on an open fire

Perish the thought. Although Filipinos are quite used to the sight of lechons roasting, the very idea of watching chipmunks roast on an open fire is still abominable. But there is nothing in this world that is ever sacred or off-limits to stand-up comedian Bob Rivers. The guy is also a successful recording artist, thanks to his albums which parody of name music artists, particularly. The Chipmunks. Remember the cute trio of little Alvin, Simon and Theodore famous for their wonderful Christmas albums.

Now in the shops is Rivers’ new album titled Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire. He and his friends once more take on the songs and voices of several popular singing stars but all of them with new, outrageous, irreverent and at times, really grossed-out lyrics. This album is how something done by the Farrelly Brothers would sound if they did a recording.

Take the title cut for example:

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
The sauce dripping from their toes
Yuletide squirrels filleted by the choir
They poked hot skewers through their nose
Everybody knows some pepper and a garlic clove
Help to make them seasoned right
Tiny rats with a crisp golden coat
Will really hit the spot tonight
And now when Santa sees his tray
There’ll be some homemade chipmunk jerky for his sleigh
And every hungry child is gonna spy
To see if chipmunks really sing when they fry
And so I’m brushing on some honey glaze
To keep them crisp and juicy too
Let’s hope they get served, many times, many ways
Tasty chipmunks, good food
And so I’m offering some recipes
From chipmunk pie to chipmunk stew
I’m not really sad that it ended this way
Furry chipmunks ...s– you!

Everything, of course, is done in the spirit of fun. So if you have no qualms about tales of chipmunks roasting and still have room for one more Christmas album now that there are only two more days to go until the big day, then you might want to check out Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire by Bob Rivers.

* * *

Speaking of Christmas, here are more CD titles that are great gift ideas for just about anybody. Next to food, music is the best choice for the harried giver. CDs do not spoil and are not idle alikabok collectors. At worse for those who cannot appreciate music, gift CDs can be easily recycled and will still be welcome whatever the occasion.

So more for the shopping cart:

Elton John Greatest Hits 1970-2000, another comprehensive career-spanning collection of hits from one of the greatest pop artists of all time. The period covered starts with Your Song and ends with This Train Don’t Stop There Anymore. In between are Candle in the Wind, Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me, Crocodile Rock and others.

Sentimento by Andrea Bocelli. His much-talked about Philippine visit did not push through so assuage anybody who was disappointed with this new album containing vocal versions of famous classical melodies with violinist and orchestrator Lorin Maazel. Rodrigo’s En Aranjuez con tu Amor. Leoncavallo’s Mattinata, Offenbach’s Barcarolle, Martini’s Plaisir d’ Amour and others.

From There to Here by Brian McKnight. One of the Pinoy’s favorite R&B artists looks back to 10 years of success with this collection. The main highlight is his duet with our very own Martin Nievera. With Back at One, Love is with Vanessa Williams, The Way Love Goes, 6-8-12, Love of My Life and new cuts like Let Me Love You and How I Do.

Salamisim by Albert Tiu. More classical melodies. This time from the Cebuano-bred pianist Albert Tiu. Recorded in New York and distributed locally by Bookmark, the album features Chopin’s Etude, Op. 10 No. 3, Saints-Saens’ The Swan, Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata, Tchaikovsky’s October-Autumn Song, Liszt’s Liebestraum No. 3 and others.

And not to forget the latest from the girls. UP!, the new album after three years from Shania Twain of the multi-Platinum Come On Over, fame because you and lots of other people are curious if the new release will also sell 34 million copies.

Charm Bracelet, Mariah Carey’s comeback album after the Glitter debacle over year ago. Includes the hit single Through the Rain, Cry by Faith Hill. The girl who brought us the moving There You’ll Be from the album Breathe gets another crack at the charts with Cry. Among the tracks are Free, One and When the Lights Go Down.