Edu Manzano: If I were...

Sorely missed as host of The Weakest Link, Edu Manzano is turning 47 on Saturday, Sept. 14, with no regrets over his past, dark or bright.

"Do I have any birthday wish?" asked Edu. "No more. At my age, I’ve realized all my wishes."

He considers his three children as his biggest achievement. They are: Luis (with ex-wife Vilma Santos), 21; Enzo, 8, and Addi, 9 (with Rina Samson). He has a blessed career. He has a great family of friends.

"I wish I were Bill Clinton," he added, "but I’m happy and satisfied being Edu Manzano."

But what if, just if, he could change anything in Edu Manzano? What could it possibly be?

"Oh, I’d change everything and leave only the good parts."

A complete overhauling, that is.

What would he leave as is?

"I have a big respect for The STAR readers so I’d just say my heart. It’s pure."

Saturday being Edu’s big day, Funfare is putting him to some kind of a "psychological test" I call "If I were...," which is just as revealing (so they say) as the "playing favorites" fun game.

Okay, Edu, game ka na ba?

What would you be if you were...

• A Bird – "An eagle. I want to soar. Life was meant to be ‘soared;’ there’s so much to explore. There’s a great need for us to spread our wings."

• A Tree – "Narra. Unlike the sturdy kamagong, the Narra Tree defies the wind but it bends a little bit; it doesn’t go against the wind or else it will snap."

• A Movie – "Titanic. Well, that’s what they call me after the honeymoon night. I’m just kidding. I’d be Citizen Kane. It’s ground-breaking, innovative, experimental, inventive."

• A Song – "I Will Survive. Why? Because so much is going on these days. I mean, anybody will want to go through life knowing that he’s equipped with the proper ammunition. You don’t only survive life, you should also enjoy life."

• A City – "Definitely not Video City. Oh, yes, San Francisco. It’s such a romantic city. The whole city is a love story; it’s very beautifully romantic, from the people to the weather to the attitudes."

• A Car – "An Expedition. Or a Suburban. I want to be a big car so I can cover a lot of terrain; nothing can stop you. Neither rain nor mud can stop you."

• A Gameshow – "It will still have to be The Weakest Link. What do I miss about The Weakest Link? The magic and the rapport with the guests. That makes you very dynamic and exciting... the edge work. Because being on television, wala nang cut-to-cut diyan; everything is live and you’re forever on pins and needles. Hinahanap mo ang kiliti ng tao. You’re constantly on your toes."

• A Soap Opera – "Ang Pilipinas Kong Mahal. Is there such a soap opera? It has been going on without many people knowing it. Didn’t you notice how the Philippines has become a soap opera?"

• A Drink – "San Miguel. It’s got to be San Miguel. Only San Miguel!"

And now, the second set of "If I were..." questions:

• If you were FPJ, would you run for President in 2004?

"No. First of all, we’ve got to see that while he may have the social dynamics, it’s necessary to put people who can address the immediate problems of the country. But I do believe that FPJ will support anybody who has the necessary qualities."

• If you were The Pope, would you quit and pass the power on to a younger "candidate"?

"At this point, yes, I believe so. With so many sects coming in all over the world, the ranks of the Catholic Church are being raided. It’s time to have a younger, more dynamic leadership to assess exactly where the Church is and where it is going."

• If you were George W. Bush, would you bomb Iraq?

"If I were George W. Bush, I would have resigned a long time ago – on the day after I won."

• If you were Bill Gates, how would spend your billions?

"I’ll buy a new pair of glasses and look for a better tailor."

• If you were Tom Cruise, would you leave Nicole Kidman for Penelope Cruz?

"Tom Cruise who? Never heard of the guy. The only Cruz I know is Tirso Cruz III."

• If you were Cardinal Sin, how would you deal with the sex scandal in the church?

"I think some of the priests should first get out of the denial stage. I believe that the Church is in denial, refusing to believe that a scandal is happening. Once out of the denial stage, the Church should confront the issue head-on. Did I make any Freudian slip there?"

• If you were GMA, what’s the problem you would give priority to?

"Right now, one works with the other and that’s crime and economy. The economy will move forward only if the criminality is checked; only if it’s safe for everybody, locals or foreigners, to live in this country and do business here."

• If you were Senate President Frank Drilon, would you resent being asked to take off your shoes at a US airport?

"No, not at all. I guess they’ll never ask me to take off my shoes because I don’t wear socks. Seriously now, I wouldn’t mind. I would even thank the airport guy for doing his job. Times are risky, you know."

• If you were a Senator, who would you be?

"Juan Flavier. Why? Dynamites come in small packages."

• If you were Vilma Santos, would you fall for somebody like Edu Manzano?

"Well, I did fall for Edu Manzano!"

Now, isn’t that a swell way of greeting Edu a happy, happy birthday?

The Birthday Boy is definitely not the weakest link, is he?