Joey to follow Kris to the US?

Stay tuned as the real-life telenovela featuring the explosive triangle involving Parañaque Mayor Joey Marquez, his estranged wife Alma Moreno and his, well, "you-know-what" Kris Aquino unfolds more intriguing, mind-boggling, spine-tingling and earth-shaking episodes, conveniently easing out of the ratings game such top-rating soaps as Pangako Sa’yo, Kung Mawawala Ka, Sa Dulo ng Walang Hanggan, etc.

A late-breaking news: Joey just might follow Kris to Los Angeles anytime now. According to Funfare’s DILG DPA, Joey has been granted a week-long leave, from Aug. 13 to 20, purportedly "for personal reasons." Oh, yes, what could be more personal than having a rendezvous with his, well, "you-know-what" who left Manila Monday evening promising to do some "soul searching" in Beverly Hills, hoping to come back with a clear mind – and conscience? – and, hopefully, in touch with the harsh reality that, because the marriage of Joey and Alma is yet to be annulled, she will remain a "you-know-what" maybe for long, if not, as Alma threatened during her and Kris’ headline-making encounter at the Asian Hospital where Joey was confined for a coronary angiogram, "forever" and ever, amen.

A Funfare NAIA DPA reported that Kris’ PR 102 flight was delayed for two hours and guess who fetched her from the PAL Mabuhay Lounge – yes, of course, si Meyor. The lovebirds spent the two-hour delay at the nearby Nayong Pilipino. Doing what? The DPA didn’t say what(!!!).

Besides being now the favorite conversation/gossip piece, with their utterly embarrasing affair as the current No. 1 spectator sport in the country, the Kris-Joey "loveteam" has also become the butt of text jokes. Or haven’t you heard?

• Sample: Once Kris comes back from her "soul-searching" in the US, she’ll host a new show. Title of the show? May Brain Ka Na Ba?

• Sample: What should be the theme song of Joey Marquez? Sana Dalawa ang Puso ko. (Ouch, ouch!!)

• Sample: And what should be the theme song of Kris Aquino? Di Na Natuto. (Ouch, ouch, ouch!!!)

Come to think of it, the Kris-Joey-Alma affair is not a unique phenomenon. Remember when former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani also found himself between two fiery women, his wife Donna Hanover and his mistress Judith Nathan, with the former demanding that the latter be kicked out pronto from the Gracie Mansion, official residence of New York’s First Family? Giuliani’s popularity plummeted and he was able to recover only when he played hero during the World Trade Center bombing.

They’re saying that if elections were to be held in Parañaque here and now, Joey would be mercilessly trounced by Alma, even if Kris would campaign for him. For sure, Joey will top any survey on "great lovers" but as far as his political career is concerned (could it be true that he’s aspiring to run for either Congressman or Senator in 2004?), well, that’s another story altogether.

More "bullet" news on this sordid but absolutely interesting affair:

• Could it be true that Kris is starting to experience, uh, morning sickness (must be from all the stress and the tension, ‘no?)?

• Could it be true that Alma holds the "secret" and the "key" to her and Joey’s wealth (properties included)?

• Could it be true Carmina Villarroel might be made permanent co-host (with Pops Fernandez and Zsa Zsa Padilla) of Morning Girls after ABS-CBN bigwigs saw how effective and engaging Carmina is as Kris’ temporary replacement?

Meanwhile, Kris’ Tita Tessie (the Sen. Tessie Aquino-Oreta) had a free-wheeling chat with some movie writers the other night at the Sanbashi Restaurant (Rizal Park). It was mere coincidence, according to Sen. Tessie, that the mini-presscon was held at the height of the Kris-Joey-Alma "circus" (Funfare’s word). "Wrong timing," she said. But the nosey movie writers naturally wanted to know how Sen. Tessie feels about the whole mess.

Once tagged as "The Poster Girl for Bad Behavior" of the Aquino Clan, Sen. Tessie was kidded that that "title" has just been wrestled away from her by her equally controversial niece.

"Huwag naman!" said Sen. Tessie who was also dubbed as a Dancing Queen because of her jig at the Senate Erap Impeachment Trial. "All I can say now that the emotions have settled, so to speak, is that I was ‘used’."

The "Poster Girl" tag is, added Sen. Tessie, "very insulting."

"I’m sad; very, very sad over what’s happening," said Sen. Tessie. "Kris is still my kadugo (blood relative). Besides, I idolize her father (Ninoy Aquino, Sen. Tessie’s brother). I’m not that close to them (Tita Cory’s family), not even to Kris, but I will do anything for them because, as I’ve said, I idolize Kris’ father."

If she were Tita Cory, how would she solve a problem like Kris (a habitual offender, not having learned from her previous relationship with another married man, Phillip Salvador, father of her love child Joshua)?

"I think Cory is handling (Kris) very well. The fact that Kris seems to be burdened by the whole thing means that she’s seriously thinking about the consequences of her actions. Cory is using the right psychology on Kris."

If Ninoy were alive, how do you think he would handle the situation?

"If Ninoy were alive, I don’t think mangyayari ito. He’d never allow it."

What do you think about the observation that Kris is not taking care of the legacy left by her father – and her mother who served the country as President with a sterling record, the epitome of light and sweetness, of the good and the right?

"You have to understand Kris in her totality. If she didn’t want to be controversial, she should have kept quiet about her private life. Like in politics, the lives of people in showbiz are an open book. Siguro, if she didn’t want her personal life pried open, dapat wala siya sa environment na ‘yon; she should have been in another field."

When people say that Kris has more of the "Aquino blood" than the "Cojuangco blood," what do they exactly mean?

"When people say that Kris is ‘very Aquino,’ they probably mean that she’s vivacious, she’s alive, she’s articulate and she’s opinionated. May pagka-politiko."

Do you think Kris will make a good politician?

"She will, definitely!"

Will you support her if and when she runs for a public office?

"Oh, yes , I will. Why not? As I said when Kris puts her heart and soul into something, she excels. Matalino ang batang ‘yan, e."

If she were to give Kris an unsolicited advice, what would it be?

"Be true to yourself. I mean, Kris is very bright, so she should know what she’s doing, ready to face the results of whatever it is she’s doing."

What do you think you and Kris have in common?

"What do you think?"

Funfare’s last question has nothing to do with Kris.

Is Sen. Tessie running for reelection in 2004?

"What do you think?," she smiled. "I’m good for one more term."