Jules Ledesma: ‘Shakespeare’ in love

Correct me if I’m wrong but was it Edgar Allan Poe who defined poetry as "the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings recollected in tranquility"?

Ask Jules Ledesma and he’ll define poetry in one word: Assunta.

"When I’m in love," smiles the diminutive Congressman from the first district of Negros Occidental, "I write poems for my beloved. I’m like Shakespeare."

His object of affection and love is, as if you didn’t know, Assunta de Rossi. Their love story has been dominating movie headlines these past weeks, with Assunta herself doing most of the talking, shouting to the four corners of the world how much she loves Jules despite the yawning gap in age (she’s 19 and he’s 41) and height (she’s 5’9" and he’s 5’2").

It’s a case of, well, you and me against the world – specifically against Assunta’s mom Nenita and her actress-sister Alessandra who are both violently against the match which could have been plucked from a fairy-tale book – you know, middle-class girl meets wealthy boy (and a widower at that) and, together, they ride on that magic carpet to dreamland (how romantic, no!).

Julio Carlos Ledesma IV comes from the old-rich Ledesma clan of Negros Occidental, pillar of the sugar industry and owner of vast acres of land and formerly the Negros Navigation. Assunta, as showbiz-watchers know, is a product of a mixed marriage between an Italian seaman and a Filipina (who worked as a househelp in Italy). Assunta’s parents met at the Rizal Park while her father’s ship was docked at the South Harbor and her mom, with a friend, was strolling one moonlit night.

Since Assunta has said more than her mouthful, Conversations decided to give Jules the floor all to himself. Here’s Mr. Assunta de Rossi, as Jules has become known, as he has never been heard before.

So how do you feel about your, well, showbiz "baptism"?

"I have friends in showbiz so it’s nothing strange to me but I didn’t expect things to become so overwhelming. Believe me, I never intended it to be that way. Nabigla talaga ako. I didn’t know it would be controversial."

Why didn’t you and Assunta keep things under wraps?

"Oh, we did – for three months. She was doing a movie at that time and we didn’t want it to be used as a gimmick."

When did you formally decide or agree to go steady?

"Actually, March 2 was the day we got involved. But as a couple, March 11 kami nag-‘on.’ The story is interesting."

A whirlwind romance, I guess.

"Not really. We’ve known each other since November last year, in Bubble Gang (the GMA 7 sitcom), and then we were together in San Francisco for the Bubble Gang special taping in December. But it was very clear from the beginning that it was friendship; she made it very clear."

It is true that you went to San Francisco to follow Ara Mina (also a Bubble Gang cast member)? Niligawan mo raw si Ara.

"Yeah. That’s how Assunta and I met. Through Ara. Friend ko si Ara."

Friend lang?

(Smiles only)

But it’s okay, anyway, you’re a widower, and therefore binata again and eligible. How long have you been a widower?

"My wife (Maria Victoria Tsung Pek) died in 2000. She was diagnosed to have cancer on Dec. 25, 1998, in Taipei. A few weeks before that, we visited Rio (Diaz) at the Standford Hospital in San Francisco. Rio and Charlie (Cojuangco) are my good friends. Hindi pa namin alam na she herself (his wife) had cancer. Her treatment started in January, 1999, finished at the same time with Rio’s treatment in April. We came back in May. Middle of September she started to have pains again. My wife was very active, just like me. In fact, when she first started having pains, akala namin injury lang. In September, after more tests, she started having chemotherapy."

Your friends, including Rio, told me that you never left your wife’s side, that you took good care of her like you were one of her doctors or nurses.

"That was my descent into hell. That’s how I like to describe that phase of my life. It was pure agony, seeing my wife die little by little, with me and our kids unable to do anything. Not long after that, the Lord took her out of her misery and I went into depression. It was my kids (Cristina, 9, and Julio Carlos V, 5) who helped me out of it." (At this point, tears begin to well in his eyes, his voice trembling a bit.)

How did you and your late wife meet and fall in love?

"Through sports. Like me, mahilig siya sa sports. At that time, I was Richard Gomez’s teammate in the Bench karting. We were introduced to each other by a mutual friend, also Chinese like her. Because of the Chinese customs and tradition, I had a hard time courting her. Nahirapan ako."

Really?

"Yeah. I went through the eye of a needle."

How did the courtship go?

"I met her in April, 1990, and we became a couple in June that same year. By December, we were engaged, only with the blessings of her mother (originally from Beijing but eventually settling down in Taipei; the father is Filipino-Chinese). We got married the following year. I was disconsolate when she died. Until now, I’m still grieving, although not as intensely as I used to. Well, I guess the grieving process doesn’t end; it lasts a lifetime."

I agree.

"Just the other night, I was watching the movie After All and I cried when I heard our theme song, Chances Are. I’ve been in mourning for two years. Two months after her death, I was in depression; the first six months were the most difficult, I really suffered emotionally and otherwise. Thank God my kids were there for me. And also, the first Christmas without her was the most painful. That was also the time of the (Erap) Impeachment hearing in the Senate. Usually, my wife and I, together with our kids, would put up our Christmas Tree on the last Thursday of November, Thanksgiving Day. At that time, it was only the kids and me putting up the tree and we ended up crying together in silence, sobbing while we dressed up the tree. Nag-breakdown ako noon."

Of course, life has to go on, you have to move on. Was Ara the first woman you set your eyes on after your wife’s death?

"Hmmmmmm, no. She wasn’t the first. But I’d rather not talk about the others."

Were they also from showbiz?

"Hmmmmmm. Never mind. Huwag na lang. After all, they’re still all my friends. That’s the nice thing about it. Friends ko pa rin sila hanggang ngayon."

How do you usually court a woman? With very expensive gifts daw?

(Laughs) "It doesn’t work, palpak nga, e! Gifts don’t really work. I’m romantic by nature. I write poems when I’m in love. I want to call myself ‘Shakespeare in love.’ I’ve written so many poems so you have an idea how many times I have fallen in love."

But according to Ara, you gave her several gifts (appliances and jewelry?), all of which she returned daw to you. She said that she wanted you and her to be, you know, "just friends," just barkada.

"I’m very careful about giving gifts because I don’t want to be misconstrued. I believe that except for the Christmas gift (last December), which she returned the next day because she believed it was inappropriate, everything else in the whole scheme of things was not really of (material) value. Because ‘yon na nga, I was careful about being misconstrued."

Did you court Ara?

"Well, yeah."

How far did the courtship go?

"Well, not far."

Did she know that you were courting her?

"Well, she did. But she made it clear to me that all I could expect from her was friendship. So we ended up being friends, being barkada."

How soon after that did you meet Assunta?

"I first met her during the Ad Congress (in Cebu) last year. There was a rehearsal and she came in late. Ang ganda ng lakad niya, very regal! That was what first attracted me to her. She was dressed very simply, in denims and shirt, but she looked very regal. But before that, I saw her from a distance at the GMA studio when they taped advance episodes for Bubble Gang because they were leaving for San Francisco. It was in San Francisco where we sort of connected to each other."

Did you go to San Francisco purposely to be with your friends in Bubble Gang?

"Well, yeah – and also to buy things for our house which was kind of neglected for two years after my wife died. Gusto kong ayusin ulit, so I was buying things in San Francisco, wall paper and everything."

How did you win Assunta over? Paano mo siya niligawan?

"There was no ligawan at all, walang courtship-courtship. We started as barkadas."

Wasn’t there any exchange man lang of "I love you’s"?

"Wala nga, e! There was none."

But was it a case of, you know, "spontaneous combustion"?

(Laughs) "No. It was a case of delayed reaction. Saka lang kami nag-’I love you, I love you’ when we started going steady already. I found her to be a very warm person. When I visited the Bubble Gang guys at their hotel, it was Assunta who gave me the warmest greeting. And to think that we didn’t know each other very well yet at that time! ‘Yon pala ang basic nature niya – very warm and very friendly."

Is it true that you’ve been showering Assunta with expensive gifts (a car, jewelry, etc.)?

"No, it’s not true."

What about the controversial, much-talked-about Rolex watch (worth millions daw) that you gave Assunta? Was it the same watch you reportedly gave to Ara who returned it to you, and was originally owned by your late wife?

"If you recall, I said that the only gift of value that I gave Ara was that Christmas gift, which she returned the next day. Okay, okay: It was a set of watch(es), Rolex. People just blew the story out of proportions."

Was it the same (set of watches) you gave to Assunta?

"Yeah. The same."

Assunta didn’t mind?

"She did not; I told her about it immediately. I didn’t hide anything from her."

Was the original owner of (that set of Rolex watches) your late wife?

"It’s like this: When my wife passed away, all her stuff, all the things I’d given her – especially jewelry – were placed in a bag and she herself told me to give them away – the shoes, the bags, the things that wear out. I gave them away to friends and relatives and even to the household help. Except for two pieces which she said I should reserved for my wife... to be. One of them is the Rolex."

What about the controversial P400,000 bracelet which Assunta reportedly gave you? Ang mahal n’un!

(Holding up right hand) "This one!"

Wow! Looks very expensive! Is it really worth P400,000?

(Smiles) "Check with Rustan’s."

Anong brand ba yan?

"It’s Cartier, with 10 diamonds around it."

That was what Assunta’s mom was protesting. Kasi daw, Assunta only had P700,000 in the bank and she had to withdraw pa P400,000 to buy that bracelet.

(At this point, Jules turned off the tape recorder himself and told an "off the record" story about the bracelet and the background of the tabloid story about Assunta fighting with her mom and younger sister Alessandra before packing her things and living, well, "somewhere else.")

Have you always been at odds with Assunta’s mom?

"Not really. In the beginning, we were okay. Magkasundo kami. I guess she started to panic only when she learned that Assunta and I were planning to get married. That was when she came back from a vacation in Italy. When she left, I was even the one who drove her to the airport. I could understand her because mothers are like that when their daughters, lalo na kung bata pa, start talking about getting married. Nabigla siya. Yeah, nabigla. Well, I guess that was our fault, Binigla namin siya."

Are you exerting any effort to sort of assuage her, assure her?

"Yeah. That’s why nga I requested you not to write more about family matters because we are into the healing process. Very fragile pa ang bagay-bagay. But we’re on the way to a happy ending, I hope."

What about Alessandra? How are you trying to win her?

"I love her. She’s helping patch things up, that’s all I can say. I’ve been reaching out to them, through different people; I’m doing everything para maayos na ang lahat. I’m a family man myself and I want families to be happy, nagkakasundo-sundo, including our family."

What about the age gap? Doesn’t it get in the way?

"How old do you think I look?"

Let me see... Parang 31 ka lang.

(Smiles) "Thank you! You see, in love age doesn’t matter. My father was 33 when he married my mother who was only 17."

What about the difference in height? Doesn’t it get in the way?

"Not with me. Look at Michael J. Fox. He’s not that tall. Nicole Kidman is taller than (her ex-husband) Tom Cruise. What matters, more than the difference in age or height, is the chemistry and the core values. When it comes to the core values, I praise Assunta’s family. She has the same core values as our family."

Some people have the impression that Assunta is a rebellious daughter. What is the Assunta that we don’t know?

"In fact, she’s a dutiful daughter. Mabait siyang anak, mabait na bata. I guess that says it all."

Has Assunta met your family (and the rest of the Ledesma clan)?

"Not yet but she will – soon. Right now, my family and relatives are kind of freaked out because of what’s happening; they’re not used to it."

What about your kids? Are they okay with Assunta?

"They’re okay. Magkasundo sila."

How do they call Assunta?

"I told them, ‘Whatever you’re comfortable with, okay lang.’ Sometimes, they call her Mom, sometimes they call her Sam (Assunta’s nickname)."

What makes you and Assunta click? What do you have in common?

"We complement each other. We’re not equals but neither are we opposites. As I’ve said, we share the same core family values; we’re both religious, with Christ at the center of our lives. All the women whom I’d courted prior to Assunta had very strong personalities. I myself have a very strong personality. Assunta has a weak personality; ’yung pagka-matigas niya, it’s all a facade. Ask her. She’s aloof, she’s shy. Me, I’m also shy. Pareho kami."

Are you living together?

(Smiles only)

You are...engaged, aren’t you?

"Yeah. Since June 3."

If you’re so in love and so sure of yourselves, why wait for 2004 to get married? Why not now?

"No, no, no, no! I want to clarify everything; let’s get this out of the way once and for all. We’re talking about the church wedding, not the civil wedding which will happen between now and end of the year.

That means you are not yet civilly married?

"Not yet. It’s not yet fiat accompli. Suffice it to say that we’re in the process..."

Does Assunta really need some documents from the Italian government before you can get married?

"Yeah. Our Civil Code requires a certification from country of origin (in Assunta’s case, whose father is Italian) allowing her to get married to a foreigner (which Jules is as far as Italian law is concerned)."

The church wedding... why in 2004? Is it because you and Assunta don’t want to be accused of using (your marriage) as campaign gimmick in the elections?

"In the first place, I’m not running anymore in 2004. But that’s not the reason. There are three main reasons, 1) I once read in a magazine that Assunta wants a wedding like that of Princess Diana’s and I’ll make sure that she’ll fulfill that dream, 2) she told me that it would take until Dec. 2003 to finish all her (showbiz) commitments; I don’t want to rush her dahil ayokong may isumbat siya sa akin later on, and 3) we want to have a three-month honeymoon, just like what my late wife and I had. That’s why it’s not right for some people to accuse me of planning to use Assunta for the 2004 elections. If we get married (in church) third week of January, 2004, and spend a three-month honeymoon, we will be back in April which is too late for me to even register as a candidate or to campaign."

Aren’t you keeping an eye on being a Senator (since he’s now on his third and final term as Congressman)?

"I have no such plan, no such dream. Even out of politics, I can continue serving the people. But I’d love to be a Cabinet Member. That is, if our party (Nationalist People’s Coalition, with Danding Cojuangco) supports the winning candidate."

Will there be any pre-nuptial agreement?

"Definitely none, for two reasons: 1) I believe that a couple who truly love each other don’t need any pre-nuptial agreement, and 2) The Family Code of 1992 protects, in fact, the wife because of community of property. I showed the Family Code to Assunta."

How many kids do you want to have, if and when?

"Mga two more."

With your two kids, Assunta is having a dress rehearsal, sort of, as a mom.

"She’s already practising! Kapag nagaaway ’yung dalawang bata, they try to beat each other in calling up Assunta and making sumbong to her."

Will you stop her from making movies after you get married?

"No. She can go on making movies. I will give my opinion on the type of roles she’ll be playing only if she asks for it."

Why not produce a quality movie for her?

"If a good material comes along, why not? We have a ready location (in the Ledesma hacienda in Negros Occidental)."

Has Assunta been to Negros?

"Not yet. In November for the fiesta, hopefully."

How do you call each other?

"Sugar – for an obvious reason. Darling Sugar."

How sure are you that you love each other, that you’re meant for each other?

"Well, we’re surviving – beautifully! – the crisis we’re going through. Our love has grown deeper and our relationship has become stronger."

Your love story is like a fairy tale.

"Yeah. Like Beauty and the Beast? No, I’m kidding. It’s more like Cinderella and Romeo & Juliet combined."

Exactly. I do hope you and Assunta will live happily ever after.

"Well, I’m keeping my fingers crossed – and praying hard."

By the way, what would you give up for her? (Assunta said she’d give her life for him.)

(Smiling broadly) "My kingdom for a queen."

* * * Star at Morn

Morning has broken.

A morn like never before.

Risen as a star.

In whom I have put my faith.

And my love, love rare, love true.

A star to save me;

Spirited from a winter.

So cold, harsh, painful.

Until dawn brought with it hope.

New beginnings, a fresh start,

Tears forever gone...

And Maria Assunta

You are my Star Sam

My Star at Morn

– Julio para Assunta