Another showbiz marriage hits the rocks

She was so in love she gave up a promising career on ABS-CBN to marry Lander Vera-Perez twice – in civil ceremonies on June 18, 1997, and in church rites on Oct. 18, that same year.

But late last year, the cracks in the marriage of Regine Tolentino and Lander Vera-Perez began to show. At Amoeba Bar, which they used to own, Regine would wonder aloud why her husband didn’t hold her hand the way he used to.

Was he ashamed of letting the world know she was his wife?

At talk shows where they guested in to discuss love, Regine was doing most of the answering while Lander confined himself to monosyllabic responses. She’d even remind Lander that they should sit together "lest he forgets."

"Look at Jessa (Zaragoza) and Dingdong (Avanzado), they’re so sweet," Regine would point out. Still no response, except the phrase, "I’m not the showy type." Even the words, "I love you," directed at Regine on national television sounded like a hasty goodbye to her ears.

When she was 18 (and he 24), one of the reasons the then-sheltered Regine fell head over heels in love with Lander was his fits of jealousy. He balked at the sight of her wearing anything as much as a colorful shirt.

But now, Regine observed to her chagrin, he wouldn’t even react if she wore a mini-skirt or a plunging neckline.

"I don’t know him anymore. He’s changed!" Regine declares.

Not that she just watched while her marriage crumble right before her eyes. Regine says she was willing to see a marriage counselor but Lander refused.

"He has a phobia about it. He thinks he’ll be seeing a psychiatrist in the process," says Regine of Lander, who himself is a product of a broken home (his parents, Pepito Vera-Perez and Bernadette Perez, are separated).

So while she became busier and busier with her boutique, Dress Me Up, Regine for women and children, plus TV guestings, she and Lander drifted farther and farther apart.

Last December, Regine, believing she and Lander are just co-existing under one roof, upped and left the Vera-Perez compound, and, with the help of her mom, found a place of her own in a condominium along Valencia street, a stone’s throw away from the Vera-Perezes. She took with her Reigne, three, and Reigen, one, her children by Lander.

There were no emotional good-byes, just Regine asking the driver to bring her things over to her mom’s place.

Although Lander may visit his children anytime he wants, her husband, says Regine, hasn’t lifted a finger to reconcile with her.

Feeling she’s done everything she can for the marriage (e.g., prepared his meal before he goes on tapings, made sure there’s gas in his car before he leaves), Regine admits feeling bitter to the point of not wanting to have anything to do with men anymore.

"I’m no prima donna. I don’t ask for much. My joys are simple. A flower, a nice text message or letter is enough to make me happy," she reveals.

It’s been that way, even when she was dating Lander. A hamburger from him, or a cake for her mom made Regine’s heart do somersaults. Dates in a fancy restaurant or even a bouquet of fresh flowers never played a part in their courtship days.

All her impressionable heart knew was that here was a guy worlds apart from those she met in the US (Regine is an American citizen). He courted her parents, was protective of her, and was handsome to boot.

It was first love right off the bat. Six months after they met – or two months after her debut, Regine married Lander, and bid showbiz goodbye.

That was four-and-a-half years ago. Today, Regine is older and wiser. At 23, her standards about a man have changed drastically. She doesn’t look at a man’s physical appearance anymore as much as she does his ability to provide a secure future.

Now, she’s all too happy she has apologized to ABS-CBN Talent Center’s Johnny Manahan, who had such great plans for his Star Circle (batch one) discovery, until marriage rudely interrupted all of them. Today, Regine has returned to the network who wanted to build her up years back.

With her English a lot, lot better (thanks to a special course in Ateneo and daily conversations with her 20-member staff in her flourishing boutique), Regine is ready to sink her teeth into meatier roles.

"I’m a better actress now," she says with confidence. Before, she was insulated from the heartaches and pain (Lander was her first serious boyfriend). But now, she’s become wiser with the experience.

This single parent knows she cannot have it all. It’s either love or career; she cannot have both at the same time.

Like any fulfilled mother, she has no regrets about marrying at 18 because she has two children she can grow up with someday.

"Had I waited a while longer – say when I turned 19 or 20 – I wouldn’t have gotten married at all," she muses. By then, her better judgment would have prevailed and kept her from starting a family.

Early marriage and motherhood do have a price, though. And Regine admits she cannot pretend to be a tweetums kind of girl anymore. But that doesn’t mean she’ll accept an offer to go bold (she has one from Seiko Films).

The host of LG Quiz Show (with Paolo Bediones) and Better Homes looks forward to doing talk shows or drama outings where she can prove her newfound maturity as an actress.

It’s a second lease in her professional life for Regine Tolentino. And this time, Regine vows she won’t let her home studio down again.