Whatever happened to Jao Mapa?

Two years ago, just when everybody thought that he was enjoying the best of both worlds – showbiz and school, at UST where he’s a Fine Arts student – Jao Mapa sprang a big surprise when he announced that he was quitting showbiz after seven relatively fruitful years during which he made a name both as a TV-movie actor and as a product endorser (for Pepsi, among others).

Any actor would have given an arm – or even more – to be in Jao’s shoes. But Jao seemed to be deadset on bidding showbiz goodbye, thank you. All sorts of speculations cropped up: Was Jao nursing, sigh, a broken heart (after his non-showbiz girlfriend reportedly married another guy)? What has gone into his head for him to resort to that "drastic" move? Is he really hooked on illegal drugs (shabu)?

Last Monday, Jao sat down for a Conversation not only to announce the end of his self-imposed "hibernation" but to answer all the questions swirling around him. The Conversation was done at his cozy condo unit at a high-rise off Tomas Morato Avenue in Quezon City, a place he bought with his own hard-earned showbiz money (and not a gift from a wealthy gay lover as erroneous reports have it).

Jao has matured considerably, with a few pounds to shed before he finally and formally makes his reentry into showbiz which he thought he was leaving for good, until…

On the wall of his little world hang his own paintings, several of which are rolled up, ready to be framed – for a future one-man exhibit? The figures on his canvas are as mysterious as Jao sometimes tends to be, with faces drawn without eyes, blank faces that actually say a lot of things, convey a load of meanings. Very Jao Mapa.

Here are excerpts from that Conversation:

Why did you decide to come back?

"Well… I miss showbiz… I miss the people in it… The writers, the directors, my fellow actors, everybody! That’s it. Nami-miss ko ang showbiz."

Why did you decide to quit in the first place?

"I got burned out; I got tired, so I decided to take a rest. Good timing naman because at that time, pumasok na ’yung thesis ko. I devoted all my time and attention to my thesis and it was worth it. I got a 1.25 for it."

What was your thesis about?

"It was about total advertising campaign. Advertising is my major."

Was doing the thesis so time-consuming and so demanding that you had to sacrifice your career for it?

"In a way. I shot a commercial for it, I had to actually go to the office everyday, I had to do a lot of computer and video work. Matrabaho. In-between those activities, I got sick pa of typhoid fever. I also put up a basketball league in our village (in Antipolo)."

When you quit, you sounded as if you were closing the door to showbiz. You did it with finality.

"Well, I reached a point where I felt na pigang-piga na ako. Burned out nga, e! Napagod at na-burned out. I needed a break."

Why did you feel burned-out?

"Besides doing a daily soap (Di Ba’t Ikaw? for GMA), I was also studying. I was doing many other things besides. I was also doing movies."

Was it a case of the "seven-year itch" (he quit on his seventh year; he started in showbiz at 16 and he’s now 25)?

"It was hard to juggle your schedule between showbiz and school. When I joined showbiz, I was 16 and was already in college. In the beginning, I had to commute between Antipolo and UST. You can just imagine the traffic that I had to go through everyday! I had to be in school the whole morning, from 7 a.m. to 12 noon."

Is Fine Arts a demanding course?

"Oh, yes, it is. Parang Architecture. You have to do a lot of plates; talagang puyatan. One plate alone takes more than four hours to finish. There are deadlines to meet so you work under pressure."

Were you, according to rumors, "confused" at the time you decided to quit? You were not able daw to cope with the demands and pressures of stardom.

"Confused? I don’t think I was."

They said that you were heart-broken when your non-showbiz girlfriend got married to another guy and your life went on a spin. Natuliro ka raw.

"No, she didn’t get married. She left me for somebody else. But we’ve remained friends. In fact, she helped me recover and I really thank her for that. Inalalayan niya ako; she was there for me. She’s happy with her new boyfriend and I’m happy with my new girlfriend (not from showbiz)."

Haven’t you ever had any showbiz girlfriend?

(Hesitating) "Well… none. Wala, wala!"

What about, you know, affairs (plural)?

(Hesitating all the more) "Wala, wala!"

What about the bold-drama actress who, according to the grapevine, taught you about the birds and the bees and…? Those "tutorial" lessons happened daw while you were doing a movie together.

(Blushing to death; unable to answer) "Wala… wala ’yun…!"

Did you get heady with stardom? Parang too much, too soon?

"Showbiz can eat you up, you know. You put your private life on the line. During my two-year break, I was able to concentrate on things that I couldn’t fully attend to when I was busy with showbiz commitments, such as spending more time with my family; I began to appreciate the closeness of our family even more. I jammed with my only brother, Diego (a band member), and all of us, with my Mom and Dad, were having meals together more often than I used to. I was spending more time in our Antipolo residence."

How long have you been living alone?

"About four years, minus the one month and a half that I spent in California after I finished my thesis. It was my gift to myself, parang pat on my own back. I went to L.A., San Francisco and Sacramento. I even joined a charity fair where I tended a nacho booth. My aunt brought me there. I sold a lot of nachos. It was there where I met Steven Spielberg. He was one of the fair’s donors."

Would you say that you were trying to find yourself during that period in your life?

"Oh, yeah . . . Soul-searching!"

Did you find yourself?

(Breaking into wide smile) "I guess I did!"

Ano ba ang mga symptoms ng nabu-burned out?

"I was irritable, medyo nagkakaroon ng temper, ready to explode at the slightest provocation. I was letting it out on my brother, my friends. I wasn’t my usual self. Para na akong loose cannonball. I thought, ‘Oops! Hindi na maganda ’to!’ Parang things were getting out of control."

Were you into drugs (shabu)? ‘Yon ang tsismis . . .the suspicion of showbiz-watchers and showbiz insiders. Napra-praning ka raw.

"No, no, no! I was never into drugs, never into shabu, never into any illegal drugs. Wala, e. I just got burned out talaga. Like everybody else, napapagod din ako. I was young when I entered showbiz, with all the opportunities laid out before me, doors opening for me. I wanted to do everything, to accomplish all my dreams all at the same time. Now I realize that a person can only take and do so much; that you can’t do everything all at the same time. . . One at a time lang."

You were at the peak of your career when you quit. Hindi ka ba nanghinayang?

"Nanghinayang din, pero . . . Well, at least na-e-enjoy ko ang mga pinaghirapan ko, like this place. It’s my sanctuary. I feel so happy and contented when I’m here, so at peace with the world."

It’s also your place of creation, so to speak.

"This is where I paint. I’m graduating next year yet, because I have some back subjects. And even if I’m back in showbiz, I won’t stop painting. It’s also a passion for me, like acting, an outlet for my ‘creative juice’."

How many movies have you done so far?

"About 10, including Babae where I was with Judy Ann (Santos); I played Judy Ann’s violent-tempered boyfriend. I also did Matrikula with Rosanna (Roces), Pare Ko with Jomari Yllana and Mark Anthony Fernandez, and Asero with Cesar (Montano). I was nominated for an award for Pare Ko."

Jomari and Mark Anthony were formerly with the group Guwapings. You almost became a Guwaping, too, as the fourth member (with Eric Fructuoso as the third Guwaping). How do you think things would have turned if you were a Guwaping?

"I came too late. The Guwapings had disbanded when I came in. Things would have been the same. I would have taken the same path."

You’ve done a lot of paintings. Aren’t you doing any solo exhibit?

"I’ve done more than enough for two exhibits, but so far wala pa akong solo show. I’ve met a lot of famous artists, like Blanco, Malang, Jess Abrera, Castillo. Oh, yeah, nagkaroon na pala ako ng solo exhibit but only sketches, 50 pieces. Hindi pa ’yung talagang mga paintings. I do look forward to joining an exhibit with the masters, kahit saling-pusa lang ako."

So, painting is your outlet for your . . . pent-up emotions… frustrations? What are your frustrations, if any?

"Wala naman . . . None that I can think of."

You must be very moody, just like most artists.

"In a way. I like isolation. I do a lot of thinking. But don’t mistake that for being anti-social because I’m not. I also go to parties . . . sometimes. I hang around with my high-school buddies. But most of the time, I prefer to be alone . . . here in my little room."

What do you do - alone - aside from painting?

"Sometimes I compose songs. I sing, in case you’ve forgotten. I once did an album for BMG Pilipinas, entitled Gimik. I once had a band, composed of my barkada."

Artists have mood swings. When you’re feeling low, how do you lift your spirit?

"I listen to music. I sing. I play Beatles songs. My favorite Beatles song is Here, There and Everywhere." (Proceeds to sings part of it, Changing my life with the wave of her hand; nobody can deny that there’s something there . . . )

What can we expect from the "new" Jao Mapa?

"Well, all I can say is that I still have the spunk."