If Piolo were Pops, what would he do?

If body language can convey messages more eloquently and more effectively than a thousand words ever do, then it’s up to you to conclude if, indeed, as persistent rumors go, there’s something more than, ehem, "friendship" between Piolo Pascual and Pops Fernandez (who has just come home from a presumably successful concert in Sydney).

The other day when Piolo met with half a dozen movie writers at the imposing but barely-finished Eugenio Lopez Building (beside the ABS-CBN Studios) on the occasion of the renewal of his contract as Hammerhead image model (for jeans and shirts and, soon, scents of three varieties, namely Sensitive, Sporty and Sensual), everybody was understandably curious what Piolo would say or how he felt being, ehem, romantically linked to Martin Nievera’s ex.

Piolo blushed and blushed, initially at a loss for words and at one point breaking into self-conscious laughter when egged on to tell the truth and nothing but, pretending to ask help from his friends seated on the next table, and then putting his hands over his face and bowing, still laughing.

Did it mean "yes"? Or did it mean "no"? Or could it have meant "maybe"?

Read his body language.

No, Judy Ann Santos, his leading lady in the forthcoming Star Cinema light romance-drama Bakit ’Di Totohanin?, wasn’t affected by the Pops rumors, although Piolo also wouldn’t say categorically if he and Judy Ann are going steady, saying only that they’re comfortable in each other’s company.

At 24, said Piolo, he has had about 10 steady girlfriends, having started courting girls at age 11. Only four of them were from showbiz, including Maricel Morales with whom he said he went steady for eight months until he left for the States, with Maricel eventually falling for Ace Espinosa who is now her husband and the father of her child.

A "P" pendant which Piolo wore around his neck caught some of the movie writers’ attention and curiosity. Now, could "P" stand for another name aside from "Piolo"? Again, the tell-tale body language, the big blush and the self-conscious laughter which his two hands covering his face couldn’t suppress. "P" could also stand for "Peace" for all we know.

Meanwhile, as Piolo kept all of us guessing who the "love of his life" is, Funfare changed gears by asking Piolo to play the "If I Were…" game. This time, you don’t have to read his body language (impossible if he’s not face-to-face with you, isn’t it?); all you have to do is read between the lines.

What would Piolo do "if I were…"

• GMA – "Ang hirap magpaka-pulitiko… But if I were President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, I’d try my best to alleviate poverty in our country. I’ll think of ways to control population… ‘yung legal and moral ways of birth control. I’ll gather all those beggars in the streets and give them food and shelter."

• Animal – "I’d be a dog. Dogs are sweet, fun and loving, and very loyal."

• City – "New Orleans. It’s alive and lively, very colorful and lots of fun."

• Book – "The Bible, which is the most widely-read book in history. People believe everything that they read in The Bible."

• Movie – "A feel-good movie, a romance movie."

• A woman – "I’d be Mother Teresa. She helped a lot of people. I want to be like her because of her passion for helping people, especially the poor."

• A song – "The National Anthem (Pambansang Awit) because when people sing it, they stand erect."

• Car – "A luxury car, definitely! I like beautiful cars. I’d be a BMW."

• Flower – "A rose. That’s what people give to their loved ones, right? People give away roses more than any other flower."

• Mountain – "I’d be Mt. Everest, the highest peak in the world. I want people to climb all over me."

• A multi-millionaire – "I’d think of ways to share my good fortune with the poor."

• A fruit – "An orange. Of all the fruits, I find it the most delicious."

• A tree – "Yes, a bamboo tree. It goes well with the wind; it bends gracefully. The higher and taller it grows, the lower it bows. That should be what people should do. The more successful they become, the more humble they should be. I’m like a bamboo tree; I go with the flow, I take the punches with a smile, gracefully."

• A movie reporter – "I’d be nice to the stars without sacrificing my credibility."

• Steven Spielberg – "I’d continue doing the same movies that he has been doing. He’s a fabulous director. I don’t want to say that I’d direct movies like he does because every actor around is saying he wants to be a director someday. Nagiging cliché na. My favorite Spielberg movie? E.T."

• Cartoon character – "Superman! Because he can fly and I want to fly. Have you ever imagined how the world looks from up there?"

• A saint – "I’d be St. Francis. He loves animals and I love animals, too. Nature-lover din siya. And I am, too."

• A piece of jewelry – "A ring. You always look at it, don’t you? I love to look at my hands, I love my hands, so I want to see a ring around a finger everytime I look at my hands."

• US President George W. Bush – "How would I help solve the world’s problems? Maybe I’d share some of my country’s riches with poor countries, like the Philippines. I’ll have some people in the Philippines migrate to the States. Like who? Sa akin na lang ’yon."

• Perfume – "A Gap. Only a Gap."

• A hero – "Jose Rizal, I guess. Very few people would die for the country like he did, di ba? Also, Mother Teresa. She was a heroine in her own way, wasn’t she? The heroine of the poor."

• Singer – "Martin Nievera. I love the way he sings. Full of passion."

• Pops Fernandez – "I’d enjoy myself more and won’t mind what other people would say about me. I deserve to be happy, too, like everybody else."

• If he were not Piolo Pascual, who would he be?– "I haven’t thought about it. I’m happy being me, I enjoy being me, so I don’t want to be somebody else."