Why I still believe in friendship - DIRECT LINE by Boy Abunda

The dragon, in retrospect, has not been really kind. I was made to believe that this was to be a good year. I had friends who worked doubly hard to make dragon babies – who are said to be lucky. I was so hopeful that harvest would be plentiful in the Dragon Year that I want to weep in dismay over the political and economical disarray we are in. The dragon seems to have spewn fires of misfortune on our country.

"These are interesting times," the Chinese curse would remind us. But there is nothing that the impregnable Pinoy spirit wouldn’t survive. Nothing. Most often, we would almost always find some reason to humor our travails. We are not afraid to laugh at our own misfortunes.

Like we survived 2000 – not without scars, not without tears, but we are alive and thanks to our indomitable spirits, we look forward to a new beginning.

But we don’t do things alone – even in living and surviving. There is always someone out there who fills in the gap and makes life easier and worth living.

In my life, I have friends who make my world a decent place to live in. Dr. Albert Wongchai (EENT specialist) and Dr. Dennis Ngo (gastroenterologist) – both of the UST Hospital.

These are two people who make me feel good about the world and myself. They are two big reasons why I still believe in friendship.

I don’t remember how I met Dr. Wongchai, Ino, to his family and friends. It is as if he has been there forever. When God created a friend, he must have had Dr. Wongchai in mind. To me, he is the closest image of an angel.

Dr. Wongchai is there during good and bad times, high tide and low tide. He swims with you through the roughest and deadliest swells of the sea. He celebrates with you during little victories and hard-earned successes. When Nanay got sick, Dr. Wongchai was there – always. For many days, doctors didn’t know what was wrong with my mother. She lost over 40 lbs and would reject anything she would put inside her mouth. My sister Mana Fe revealed that for over a month, she was having nothing but water. All the tests showed that Nanay was alright. But she became very weak and thin. I would cry just looking at her – the brave, strong Waray public school teacher who taught Grade 1 for 42 years, 11 months and two days. The tough woman who took good care of us was now helpless against a disease we didn’t know. I will not forget that day when I was told that my mother had to undergo a bone-marrow test, a procedure that was likely to reveal what was causing Nanay’s sickness. Somebody told me that it was a painful procedure. I cried like a boy who could not protect his Nanay, who was 70 years old, barely 80 lbs (she used to be 140 lbs) and was about to undergo a painful procedure. I was inconsolable as I was told that I had to sign the document that would allow the test. That evening, Nanay whispered to me, "Kaya ko." I ran out of the room and cried like it was the darkest night of the world.

All this time, Dr. Wongchai was there – comforting, assuring that everything would be fine and that he was there – that he would be by our side. He would visit Nanay as often as he could; he would pray and laugh with her. He stood there "in the gap" and made the ordeal bearable.

Today, Nanay is well and healthy.

I cannot thank Dr. Wongchai enough for his kindness. I always tell people that, yes, some men are truly, truly good. There was a time I had problems with my niece. He was also there to simplify the most complex emotional equation between an uncle and a niece who defines love, life and happiness – so differently – they would put to shame the vitriolic disagreements between the defense and prosecution panels in the impeachment trial of the President. He glowed like Chief Justice Davide – lucid and fair, sorting out a troubled family landscape.

Dr. Wongchai introduced Dr. Dennis Ngo to me and my family. He, too is kind and patient. Just the other day, he called me to wish me and my family a Merry Christmas. He makes it a point to be in the studio during my birthday celebrations. He smiles and quietly watches from a corner and he makes sure you know he’s happy for you.

He is also an interesting human being – hungry to learn more about things outside of medicine. "There are words you use that I jot down while I listen to your radio program. I always make sure that as soon as I get off my car, I look them up in the dictionary and I add them to my vocabulary." Dennis is progressive – unafraid to explore the unknown. He is also very funny. His laughter is soothing – the way perhaps a shy geisha would laugh!

The best thing about Ino and Dennis is that even before they prescribe medicine, they give you free samples of love and attention that can only be procured from the heart.

The best doctors are the ones with the best hearts. Freud once said that "being a doctor doesn’t make one immune to human suffering nor should it, but one does become less vulnerable if there is happiness in one’s own life."

Dr. Wongchai and Dr. Dennis Ngo are two of the best doctors in the world and Freud would be glad to know that both are happy men and doctors.

I’m blessed by their friendship.