Triumph of the spirit

A few issues ago, Funfare published the heart-warming story of how Martin Nievera brightened up the last few days of a cancer patient who died last week of March. The story, told by the husband in a letter to Funfare, touched the hearts of many readers.

Here's a rejoinder from the husband, Louie Cesar, whose wife Aileen died, knowing deep in her heart that on this earth, some kind souls (like Martin) can go out of their way, break away from their hectic (showbiz) schedule to give terminally-sick people a warm send-off.

Dear Ricky

You printed last April 12 a letter I wrote about Martin Nievera visiting my wife at St. Luke's before she died of cervical cancer complications last March 30. You printed in your column of April 14 a response from a reader, May Zayco who was touched by what I wrote. Please print this that others may learn from what I am going through and that other stars may follow Martin's unselfish gesture.

Through your column I'd like to thank May for her concern, even offering prayers for my wife Aileen, my daughters and myself. Let me say though that Aileen would not need our prayers anymore. She is in a place infinitely far better than where we are now, rubbing elbows with the saints, walking in streets of gold and joyfully praising and worshipping our heavenly Father and Creator. Many have offered prayers for me and my daughters. Pray that our grief be brief. While it is true that many have given comfort and encouragement, none will ever be enough to ease the pain and anguish in my heart. Nothing will prevent the memories or my eyes shedding tears.

You know Mr. Lo, for the more than an hour Martin gave of his time for my wife Aileen, I knew she was ecstatic not because a celebrity was there inside her room but because she knew in her heart she was in the midst of people who loved and cared for her... the kind of people who will go the extra mile, sacrifice priorities, change schedules, give blood, bring food, stand by your side through thick and thin, invite a Martin Nievera to cheer you up etc... without expecting anything in return. This was what made her happy and Martin was just a fruit of that precious knowledge in her heart. Many of our showbiz stars can learn from Martin's gesture. They have been so concerned with fame and fortune that they're missing out on the more important things in life... the kind that gets you rewards in heaven because they are treasures that never rot nor can be stolen.

Indeed so much can be learned when a cherished one departs. I have learned that when you love a person, you must love that person as if it was the last day of her life on earth. So that there will be no regrets. You may not have another chance. In my mind I knew I have nursed and cared for Aileen as she battled cancer for a year and five months. I have lavished her with countless "I love yous" and showered her with hugs and kisses. The little things that she could no longer do like washing her clothes, massaging her feet, changing her diapers (she was already incontinent) and brushing her teeth, I did because I loved her. But you know what Mr. Lo, I know in my heart that there were still a thousand more I could have done for her that would have expressed tenderness, compassion, forbearance, patience and understanding. I would no longer ever be a tender, loving husband to Aileen but I can still be a kind, gentle and loving father to her daughters.

God is good Mr. Lo. Cancer is an expensive disease and I am not rich. But the bills were met, there was food on the table and Aileen always had her medication. God gave me the honor and privilege of caring for Aileen, saying and doing things to make her remaining days more comfortable and meaningful.

Others lose loved ones without saying "good- bye" or "I love you". Up to her dying moments, I have never deprived her of those cherished words. Yes, there so many things to learn in life, in death, in the birds chirping, the flowers blooming, in the sun rising and setting, in the humanness of Martin Nievera. Alas, many of us fail to learn because we hardly ever stop... look and listen. God is talking and teaching all the time. Once again, thank you Martin. May and so many more out there for your concern and hearts of compassion.

-- LOUIE CESAR

29 D Tulips Street

St Dominic Subd.4

Tandang Sora

Quezon City